SkeetzTeez

Friday Morning Quarterback 01.01

2009-02-13T11:22:00.005-06:00

I was just looking over my blog posts and I, literally, have seven articles that I have started over the last three weeks that I have not finished. I feel bad that I haven't gotten anything done but, between being sick, things picking up at work and last minute preparations for the coming baby, I just have not had time.

I have a tendency to jot little notes to myself during the week and then put them together in a weekly review of sorts called Monday Morning Quarterback. I keep most of these notes in my back-left pocket but there are so many that they are overflowing to other places and it has been so long that I don't understand what some of the inscriptions mean when I run across them. I have decided that I have to take a few minutes to record these thoughts before I lose them forever. Who knows? I could have a fleeting million dollar idea in here somewhere!

• I have this thing about people getting in my pockets. I won't even let MLW or M3S get in them whether my pants are off or on. I also transfer everything in my pants pockets that I am taking off to the pockets of the pants I am putting on every time.

• Grammy Notes (Boy, it has been a long time since I have written):

- I didn't know more artists than I knew.

- Do you think anyone tells Stevie Wonder how silly he looks with all of his hair pulled back into the back one-third of his head? Is that from so many years of wearing those tight braids?

- Speaking of silly: All of the under-age artists look ridiculous. Just because Disney gives you enough exposure that millions of kids idolize you, does not mean that you have the talent to be able to even carry the amps of the legends that you are being allowed to share the stage with.

- Kanye (Twitty) West looks like he is going to a 1986 prom. What do they call that hairstyle-- a frolet?

- I like to listen to British people speak-- not only because of the accent (although it is cool) but they have a casualness about them that I enjoy.

- Whitney-- say no to crack!

• It is absolutely amazing to me what women will say to you when they understand that your wife is pregnant. When I was single, there is no way that they would ask me anything as personal as they seem to think it is OK to do now!

• I expected the baby to show up today because we have a music trivia to do tonight, but it looks as if he is going to take after his mother's side of the family and show up late.

• The only thing cooler about this time of year than it being trivia season is the fish fries will be starting in a week or two.

• I promise to burn my firewood where I buy it.

• Are three-year-olds supposed to have a vocabulary that includes words like actually and really and are they supposed to understand how to use those words in the right context?

• I have several new designs in the works and have made available a classic T-shirt from the movie, Can't Buy Me Love, starring a pre-McDreamy, young Patrick Dempsey as Ronald Miller.

• This Facebook thing is really cool but I don't know how healthy it is as it can be very addictive. It took me a while to join but now I like Mafia Wars a little too much.

• If I ever start writing regularly again I will have to do a feature on Facebook because I am studying several books on Social Networking and have developed some pretty interesting theories on the whole concept.

Okay, it is now Wednesday. I started writing this post last Friday and am frustrated enough, at this point, that I am just going to publish it as is. The baby is due tomorrow and I feel that we have just hit the pause button on the remote control of life and we are waiting for MLW to go into labor. I have got nothing done in the past week because I am having a terrible time concentrating on anything and this blog story is a perfect example.

I'm going to count this one as done and post it because I have to, as Walt Disney would say, keep moving forward! Read this. Buy T-shirts. Peace.

The Day the Music Died

2009-02-03T08:57:00.008-06:00

Fifty-years ago today, news was broadcast about a plane, on it's way to Fargo, North Dakota, that went down in bad weather new Clear Lake, Iowa taking the lives of J.P. "The Big Bopper" Richardson, 28; Ritchie Valens (originally Valenzuela), 17; and Charles Hardin Holley, 22, better known as Buddy Holly. A tragic story, indeed but, having occurred nearly a decade before my birth, I didn't feel that the event impacted my life in any way-- even though I had a great interest in music... especially Rock 'n Roll.

The sad event, however, did influence Rock 'n Roll and many of the early artists that would leave a mark and, in fact, lay the foundation and several of the main-floors of the giant structure that the music has become in pop-culture. Legends such as Paul McCartney and John Lennon from the Beatles, Bruce Springsteen, Elton John, Eric Clapton, and Rolling Stones-- Keith Richards and Mick Jagger have declared Buddy Holly a foremost contributor to the success of Rock 'n Roll and a major influence on their own career-paths.

There have been two movies made that recount events in the lives of the men leading up to the accident. The 1987 film, La Bamba, gave Lou Diamond Phillips, playing Valens, his big break and 1978's, The Buddy Holly Story, even earned, crazy-man, Gary Busey, an Oscar nomination for his role of Holly. Although some of the facts have been altered for dramatic effect, either flick is worth a rental on a Saturday afternoon or weeknight.

These motion pictures brought the story of the musicians to people my age and younger some 20-30 years after their death but many in the mainstream had heard the story before in song. Though they may not have realized it, Don McLean tells us about it in his 1971 hit, American Pie. The song is an abstract story of his life and Rock 'n Roll's part in it that starts with the accident and ends in 1970.

The eight-minute 33-second song is the longest in Billboard's history to make it to number-one and spent four-weeks there in 1972. Because of it's length, Top 40 stations would originally only play the shortened B-side, but the song's popularity eventually forced them to play the whole thing. It is now considered a rock anthem and it's importance to America's musical and cultural heritage has been recognized by many sources.

When I was a Freshman in high-school, I wrote a paper on the symbolism found in the song. At the time, I had to spend many hours in the local library, researching scholarly interpretations of the lyrics. Today, on the Web, everybody and their brother is ready to explain what they think it means. This, for one reason, is why I will not bore you with my analysis (the other reason is... I'm not sure what it all means) but this one is pretty good if you should want to check it out.

When they asked the writer what it all meant, McLean replied, "It means I never have to work another day in my life!" On a more serious note he claimed, "...long ago I learned that songwriters should make their statements and move on...", though later he did admit to hearing about the plane crash while folding newspapers to be delivered on his paper route on February 3, 1959.

I like that because, when you think about it, everyone is going to have their own interpretation of any song, or piece of art, or event, or conversation and even if I tell you what mine is-- it isn't going to change what it means to you... or at least I don't want it to.

So... I'll be moving on now.

...and the rest is Rock 'n Roll.

Read this. Buy T-shirts. Peace.

How to Make A Mix-Tape

2009-01-22T12:01:00.012-06:00

They say that music soothes the savage beast. I don't think you can call me a savage-- beast maybe, but not a savage... but I agree that music can be soothing. It can also stir a lot of other emotions and feelings but right now I need it to be soothing. I have had a rough morning so I have put in my ear buds, kicked up my iTunes and I am going to hide under my desk, close my eyes and put everything else out of my mind for a few minutes...

There, that's better. It is pretty amazing how that works. Certain recordings can take you to happy places and better times in the same way that a picture can, or a smell or taste. All of our senses have the ability to affect us physically, mentally and emotionally, but music goes a step further by blocking out other distractions.

As a performer, I have had firsthand experience seeing how music can affect, effect and infect people. For some it may be a rock 'n roll song that "pumps them up", almost to a point of an aggressive frenzy. For others it may be a mellow ballad that makes them cry or a peppy pop tune that brings a smile to their face. Christian music and religious hymns can be very powerful, bringing the listener to their feet in a moment of joy and classical music or other genres can be very spiritual, as well, to some. It is very different for every person, but I think everyone has some degree of instinctual, internal rhythm that is keeping time to a song in their head.

Having dealt with many challenges with anxiety, I have a collection of songs categorized by attitude adjustments that they bring on. Music to help make me happy, relaxed, energized, concentrate or reflective is all grouped in different playlists on my computer. My calming tunes have even been burned to a series of CDs so I can listen to them in the car-- to prevent road rage or at the office-- to prevent work wage. I also have other song sets that I listen to if I want to get in the proper mood to do something like workout, mow the lawn or get romantical.

I love the idea of playlists because it reminds me of the mix-tapes that we used to make before the Internet age and the invention of the CD burner. A mix-tape is a group of songs recorded to cassette tape with the intention of reflecting the producer's chosen theme. Anyone could make them with very minimal equipment and with vinyl, 8-tracks, cassettes or even compact discs but a true mix-tape artist would toil hours-upon-hours to get the best possible reproduction of the perfect, 60-minute, combination of tracks.

Mix-tapes have been around since the early 1970s when compact cassettes were made readily available to the public and hit their peak in the 80s and 90s before fading away in this millennium when consumers were able to record music, as well as data and video to compact disc. The amateur recordings were vaulted into mainstream pop-culture with the release of the 2000 film, High Fidelity, starring John Cusack and based on the novel of the same name by Nick Hornby-- a great flick that I would highly recommend, especially if you, like me, are a big fan of Cusack.

Some would argue that the CD Compilation is the mix-tape of today, but the purist knows that the shiny silver discs could never live up to the small, twin wheels of fragile, thin tape embedded in that smokey, plastic shell and that no one could cue a song with a pencil, blindfolded, with one hand tied behind their back, as well as them.

Today, as with many other days, this went a different direction than I intended. Visit How to Make a Mix-Tape if you would like to read more of what I have to say on the subject. Be sure to check back soon when I will post the article that I was planning or writing about how the music of today and the music of the past is impacting each other.

Until then, Read This. Buy T-shirts. Peace.

Monday Morning Quarterback 1.17

2009-01-19T12:25:00.012-06:00

Although I spend about three-times as much time on the other articles, these quickie little Monday Morning Quarterback postings are getting all of the attention. The 17 collections of thoughts that I usually throw together during my Monday lunch hour have had more readers than the other 70 stories collectively, that sometimes take me many hours over several days to complete. This doesn't bother me because I enjoy either one as much as I do the other and I have learned, over the years, that a client (or your boss,or the public, or any end-user) doesn't care how much time you put into something. They are only concerned with the end product and if they like it or not. In fact, I will put as much effort into a project as is needed, but I usually start with a "less is more" philosophy because if the end product is the same no matter how much you put into it you might as well save that extra energy.

Note to all you men out there however: you can throw this whole concept out the window if your wife is the person making the request. Here are my notes from the week:

• Being from St. Louis and a Rams season ticket holder, I have seen a lot of mixed emotions in this town about the Superbowl this year. Most people love Kurt Warner on one hand and, I think, most dislike the Cardinals and their ownership on the other. Either way, it is really a great story and, I hope, it will be a great game.

• A couple of times, while hearing reports on the plane crash landing in the Hudson River last week, I heard correspondents corrected when they said Canadian Geese. Apparently, the proper name of the bird is Canada Geese. I'm not sure if it was the Canadians or the geese, but one of the groups was upset (I guess they didn't want to be blamed for bringing down that plane) and was sure to make a point of it.

• In similar news, in order to be certain to not accuse any other countries of involvement in accidents with non-resident subjects, we will refer to so-called subjects in the non-possessive vernacular. For instance: France Toast, Germany Potato Salad, India Giver, Brazil Wax and Poland Sausage.

• Just to remind me of how soon our little baby boy will be here, MLW's cousin went into labor two-weeks early on Saturday. Welcome Olivia Joy. On our way to visit baby and Mom, my wife mentioned that M3S and she could marry because they are forth-cousins but I quickly convinced her that these families are already screwed-up enough to start messing with the gene pool any more than we already have.

• Talk around the Sunday Dinner table last night (after we were finished eating) turned to babies and deliveries and C-sections and stuff. The only one at the table that had not been through a birth but was still able to understand what we were discussing was my 22-year-old niece, who commented, "I wish we could just throw them up!" As freaky of an experience natural birth was-- and I wasn't even the one having the baby-- her idea may be even more bizarre.

• My Mom thinks I should write a book called Sunday Dinner. I explained to her that I am basically doing that by writing in this blog. I think she would enjoy reading it but she refuses to own a computer... or fly in a plane.

• Barrack Obama's Inauguration price-tag is somewhere around $150 million for four-days of events with 1.5 to 3 million attendees. This is more than three-times the amount that was spent for the most recent Bush bash and more than five-times the amount for Clinton's first-term inauguration bill. I don't feel like messing with the math but I think that is a more expensive ticket than the Superbowl... and I would think the taxpayer is taking care of the bill. Where are our priorities?

• I understand that they are re-naming Delmar in our fair city-- Barrack Obama Boulevard. This for a man that has not served a day in the presidential office yet. You would think that the St. Louis planning commission would have learned their lesson from when they named a stretch of I-70-- Mark McGwire Highway, only to have the muscle-bound slugger lay an egg in the Congressional hearings on steroid abuse in baseball.

• Do not try this at home... or anywhere else for that matter... and don't read this one if you have a weak stomach. I recently heard of a disgusting (even by my standards) practice young people have been participating in order to get high. They actually poop in a bag, let it ferment for a while and then snort the fumes produced. What is the world coming to? We did some pretty stupid things as kids for some pretty stupid reasons, but none even close to this stupid! I have a real hard time believing this one because if someone asked me to come up with the most gross, disgusting, stupid thing in the world, I would have a hard time thinking this up. Why can't they use this energy and experimentation with methane gases to develop alternative fuel choices-- if your going to play with poop-- it should at least be for a good cause.

• Similarly, I can't believe that their is a certain frequency that only humans under the age of 18 can hear and that they are making ring tones in these frequencies for the kids' cel phones. I believe that this is a giant conspiracy that has gone mainstream with stories on the national network newscasts. Millions and millions of kids across the globe are laughing at all the big dumb adults behind our backs. It is like a giant 21st-Century snipe hunt.

• I was looking at my niece's friend's and my sister's pierced noses yesterday and noticed something peculiar (I mean something besides the fact that my sister is 41-years old and has her nose pierced)-- their piercings were on opposite sides. I thought this might be another one of those things that I didn't know about because I was old but, because my sister too was old, this may be my opportunity to get an honest answer and I asked what was the significance of the locations. She gave me some long drawn out explanation of how a young girl of Indian descent told her that her mother told her about the meanings in ancient India and it turns out that there is no difference in the meanings of piercings on the left or right side of the nose... they both mean that you're a hussy.

Oh well. Read this. Buy T-shirts. Peace.

You Gotta Be Kidding Me 1.02

2009-01-15T09:23:00.008-06:00

The mercury was just creeping up over 2-degrees this morning when I rolled into work-- coldest temperature in St. Louis in over 10-years. As I turned the corner past the receptionist and down the main hallway toward my work station, I was unwrapping myself from the several layers of scarves, coats and hoodies, when I stopped, face-to-face, with a young man coming out of the break room with his cup of warm beverage of some kind.

I was certain to pardon myself as I did not want him to spill on himself, the floor or, most importantly me, and quickly went on about my way. As far as I was concerned, a long, drawn-out conversation was not needed because, although this guy had worked in our office of about 100 employees for a little over a year, I knew his name and said, "Hi, how you doin'?" in passing before, we didn't really work together or socialize, we had nothing in common, I was running a little late due to a stalled car on the highway and I am not big on the small talk, anyway.

He just couldn't leave well enough alone, however, and had to come back with the witty, "Cold enough for you?" I stammered for something to say, not expecting to be presented with such a deep question at 8:02 A.M... "No, I was hoping we would get to see negative numbers today"... "It's not the cold, but the humidity, that will get you"... "You know that is 14-degrees in dog-temperature"... didn't come to me until later. All I could think of at the time was, "Yeah, Buddy!" followed by a, "you, tool"... under my breath.

Why can't anyone just go about there business and not say anything when you don't have to? Why is it that, when found in an uncomfortable situation, we often have the need to just blurt out the first thing that comes to mind? Has the phrase Silence is Golden lost it's impact with the falling prices of precious metals?

I had only been working-out at the YMCA for about a week when I realized that there was an unwritten routine and an etiquette that one needs to follow. Among other things, certain people are in certain places and doing certain things at certain times-- like clockwork. It didn't take too many dirty looks before I figured out that, at 6:05, treadmills #4, 5 and 9, and elliptical machines #1 and 6 are available, but by 6:15 all of the ellipticals are being used, however, treadmill #5 is still open and #6 and 7 have opened up, too.

It took a little longer to grasp the pecking order in the locker room. Grown men can be pretty territorial when it comes to changing spaces. It is best to search for a spot without padlocks on, at least, four adjacent lockers, in each direction. In addition, you should try to keep to yourself and never speak unless first spoken to. You may, however, give a head-nod or hand-raise, accompanied by a low-volume and -tone grunt or an inaudible, questioning mumble as a salutation upon coming or going.

After two-and-a-half months of-- over-an-hour-long workouts, five-days-a-week-- not talking to a single soul, I really thought that I had become invisible or something. Perhaps, since it was early, I had morning breath, but I never opened my mouth enough for anyone to get a whiff. Can people really go for months without interacting with anyone? Maybe it just takes a while for individuals to warm-up to each other and feel comfortable sharing conversation? It could just be me, though, because I have actually seen people in the gym talking to each other, and on one occasion I could even hear words coming out of their mouths and smiles on their faces!

In fact, there is one guy that must have been a member for many years as there has been more than one occurrence that I have seen him talking with more than one person. For weeks, I would see him make his rounds and say, "good morning", to other members, but not a word to me... until that faithful day just after Christmas...

With the holiday upon us, the Y was going to take care of some maintenance issues while they were less busy between Christmas and New Years. Among the things on their "to-do" list was replace the shower heads in the men's locker room, so they shut down half of the plumbing at a time to make repairs. Although there were, definitely, less people working out during the holiday, it was still a bit crowded in the very early morning and with some of the facilities unavailable, the guys were cramped in the tight quarters. Instead of leaving one or two stations between bathers, some were forced to do the normally unthinkable, and shower right next to another man.

I wasn't too very freaked out about this as, since I was exposed to a lot of new experiences when I had the stroke, I had become much less inhibited. I couldn't help but feel a little uneasy, though, when the dude that was always friendly to everyone else but me, pulled up to the shower-station next to me and said, "How you doing? I'm John."

In my shock and embarrassment, I was unsure if he stuck out his hand and I was too afraid to look so I just squeaked out out a quick, "Good. Scott." and went on about my business. Is it considered rude to not shake the hand of a naked man? It has been awkward and we haven't said a word since-- just the occasional head-nod and grunt in passing.

I'm not sure if you understand or not. There are rules! Men do not visit the bathroom in pairs like women. They do not speak to each other or look anywhere but straight ahead when they are using a urinal so I would assume that the same would also apply to public showers. Maybe he was from a different Country or something?

About a year ago, I was still in therapy but progressing very well so they put me in a group psychology session that met every Friday at lunch-time. The group consisted of usually 6-10 other patients that had suffered brain injuries of some kind and were getting ready to get back into their everyday routine in the real world so there was a variety of people attending in the eight-weeks or so that I participated.

On this particular Friday, I was dropped-off by my driver a bit early which was both unusual and advantageous because I really had to use the restroom. I did my best to limp past the meeting room down the hall towards the lavatory as quickly as possible when I approached a guy that I recognized as being part of the group but he had not been there in several weeks. I gave him a head-nod and a "how-ya-doin'" as I hobbled past him and he mumbled something back that I didn't pay attention to as I reached my goal and turned into the bathroom.

I entered the middle of three stalls with a big sigh of relief that I held back as I heard the door squeak open and someone else come in. I sat quietly and, through the space between the door and the frame, saw the gentleman, slowly passed my stall and occupy the one right next to me-- serves me right for picking the middle one. I now tried to delay my business as I didn't want to draw attention to myself with someone sitting right next to me.

And then he said, "Hey, how you doing?"

Stunned I replied, "Pretty good... How are you?" not thinking that the conversation would go any further... but it did... "Alright. So what are you up to?"

OK, so this is really freaking me out and I thinking, "Don't answer. This is nuts. Don't answer."

But I say, "Well, I have a group psych session and had a few minutes to kill so I thought that I would come in here and take care of my busin..."

But he cut me off with, "What time are you going to be there?" and at this point I'm thinking, "Yeah this is crazy that we are having a conversation in the stalls in the men's room, but you started it and now your cutting me off? That is just rude, but again, I answer, "Well, group starts at noon, but they usually run a little late so I've got..." and this time I stop, myself as I hear him say,

"Hey, I'm going to have to let you go because there some moron in the stall next to me that thinks I'm talking to him.

I didn't even finish what I started and left as quick as I could without making another sound. I was glad that none of my group partners were there to see me make a fool of myself. As we were getting ready to start, the guy that I saw in the hallway came in, plopped himself down in the chair next to me and said, in a very familiar voice, "Hey, how you doing?"

We had a good laugh about it after the session and then I never saw (or heard) him again.

I know this story is so good that it sounds like a joke. In fact, someone emailed me a similar story, shortly after the event occurred. The only proof that I have that it really happened is that guy that was there-- maybe he started the email about me.

Sometimes it's just better to say nothing.

Read This. Buy T-shirts. Peace.

Monday Morning Quarterback 1.16

2009-01-12T13:11:00.007-06:00

When we weren't busy with other things this weekend we were preparing for the new baby's arrival. The due date is still almost six-weeks out but MLW's cousin, who is also expecting, was sent to the hospital almost three-weeks early. She didn't have the baby, however, she was put on modified bed rest and will probably go this week.

It's not that we won't be able to get by if our new Son would like to show sometime in the next couple of weeks... I'm not going to be that ready if he shows in July. Mentally, I am about as prepared as I am going to get and I would just like a little more time to get the house ready.

I am almost sure that we now have more baby and toddler clothes than my wife's and my wardrobes combined. As my wife went through and sorted them into piles by size-- 0-3 months, 3 months, 3-6 months, 6 months and so on and so on-- I worked on, finally, converting our home office into M3S's permanent room. We were very lucky that we are having another boy, this time around, as it has made the preparation much easier and much less expensive than if we had to re-decorate, re-organize and re-buy everything for a little girl.

I think my wife and I were pretty satisfied with the progress that we made and that is a rare occasion when we are both happy with such a project. We still need to paint some rooms and build a bed for M3S, but that doesn't need to be done before the stork drops-off our special delivery. I will write in more detail about the anticipation of the new arrival to our family in the coming weeks but, for now, here's the notes from the weekend:

• As my Son and I dug through the tangled mess in his toy-box, we sorted into boxes labeled: GOOD, BABY, DONATE and TRASH. When we were finished we found a place for stuff in the GOOD pile and, neatly, put it away; we sealed up the BABY box and put it in storage until his little brother is old enough to play with it; we gave the DONATE stuff to the "poor kids" and we threw out the TRASH. I was proud of the little guy because he did let me talk him into getting rid of some of his stuff even though I could tell by the look on his face that it was breaking his heart to give most of it up. I had to remember that as we were sorting through my stuff in the office. It made him feel better, though, because my boxes were labeled: GOOD, BUDDY, DONATE, TRASH. It is amazing how some of my old junk can bring joy to a three-year-old's face.

• Baby-proofing a house is very similar to how we used to party-proof a house when we used to have a blow-out when a friend's parents were out of town... except it is much harder on the knees.

• There is never a shortage of good things said about a person at his or her funeral but I have never, in my life, heard so many good things about a man than at the funeral we attended Saturday. For the sake of privacy, I won't mention any names but I would like to say I hope that when I go, I will have half as many people say half as many nice things about me.

• The National Safety Council is trying to get a nation-wide cel-phone ban for automobile drivers because of the evidence that mobile phone use increases the chance of being in an accident four-times. Okay-- you have finally convinced me... Seriously... I agree... Ban them. Okay, now can you do something to ban idiots, morons and asses from driving?

• I have an idea-- onion-free onion-rings-- onion-frings! and I think I have developed a way to make them. This could be my million-dollar idea.

• Three of four of the visiting-dogs won their NFL Playoff games this week-- that's parity for you. The National Football League is the most well-run organization in professional sports, even with the problems that they are having with the officials blowing calls.

• I will be the first to admit that I was a Kurt Warner basher. When he came back to the Rams after his broken finger, I thought he was done and, although he had a few incredible years, I thought he would just fade away after holding the clipboard for some young stud QB, never to be mentioned on SportsCenter again. Not only did I write him off but, I would be willing to bet, a good majority of football fans were with me. How wrong were we? Next Sunday, a bunch of those fans will be sitting in front of TV rooting on Warner as he will try to take the Arizona Cardinals to their first (his third) Superbowl. His is just an amazing story of perseverance that you almost have to root for him! When he came on to the scene, Sports Illustrated, did a cover story on him titled, "Who IS This Guy?" There is going to be a lot of similar questions if he leads his team in a home win against the Eagles next week. I don't usually do this but I am jumping on Warner's bandwagon because I now admire his work... and the Rams suck, Green Bay isn't much better, Favre is done for the season (or for good... or for the season... or for good...) and there is no other team left that I really care for at all.

• After Let's Roll 1.10, I put together a new Squidoo page: How to Tight Roll Your Pants-- check it out! You can create your own Squidoo page on anything you want! It's fun, free and easy!

• I got new shoes of the weekend. I've got two-words for you VEL CRO... Sure I look like I'm 73 instead of 43, (MLW even noticed that in the advertisement for the shoes the guy in the picture isn't even wearing them!) but they are super-comfortable (I wear out before my feet do), convenient (both-- on and off in 7.2 seconds... I timed it) and, most importantly, in these tough economic times, cheap ($11-- no holler)! I'm out.

Read this. Buy T-shirts. Peace.

Let's Roll! 1.10

2009-01-09T12:33:00.008-06:00

I wanted to take this opportunity to tease a special story that I will post sometime next week. It is a special follow-up report on my driving series that was published last year. As I was driving home from work on I-70 at 22 miles per hour, I did some quick calculations in my head and was astounded at the amount of time that I spend in my car! I am taking some time to do a little more research and put together a another piece commenting on our commuting habits.

I came down with some kind of stomach bug that has put me out of commission for some time this week, but I still hope to get this post out before Saturday. Because I'm doing a Let's Roll, MLW will not read it anyway but, while doing my research, I have stumbled across several Websites that I wanted to feature today. They include a tool to improve your Squidoo experience and a couple of tributes to the best decade in the history of the world. Let's Roll:

SquidUtils-

Squidoo supplies users with an abundance of tools for use with the application but SquidUtils takes it a few steps further with an extensive list of utilities and very simple explanations of how to use them to work for you. An Advanced Dashboard, as well as tools for lens building and maintenance will allow you to determine the needs of your individual lenses and a directory to make your lenses available to other users with similar interests. There is also a chat room, other plug-in extensions and an interesting little forum where you can buy and sell lenses in an auction-type setting. If you have created lenses on Squidoo, you should have this Site bookmarked.

Stuck in the 80s-

I have to mention my disclaimer again-- I don't like to list other people's blogs because you have no idea what type of person the writer really is. I have read through a good number of entries on this site, however, and not only does it seem fairly family friendly, it is also very entertaining for a child of the 80s, such as myself and the online editor who was kind enough to feature my Shermer High School Bulldogs T-shirt in October. Along with his commentary on all things eighties, there are links to the official Websites of the decades bands and personalities... Totally Rad!

David Lee Roth Running with the Devil Soundboard-

The epitome of a rock 'n' roll front man, Diamond Dave filled the airwaves and concert halls with an loud, arrogant, flambouyant personality. His sound bites were a hard to avoid plastered between music videos at the peak of MTV popularity. (Yes... they used to play videos on MTV.) I can't, possibly, believe that this is really digital sampling of DLR's distinctive vocal stylings, but if it's not, it is certainly a good impression. I like to pull this up when I'm at work and try to use one of the 37 Davisms as a response to all of the stupid questions I am asked during the day.

How to Tight Roll Pants-

I here it is coming back into style and if you have not been properly trained in the technique, you should not try this with you fine denim-wear.

Short but sweet this week because my Wife doesn't like these. Read this. Buy T-shirts. Peace.

Best of 2008

2009-01-07T10:31:00.008-06:00

I started writing this blog on July 17 and have since published 90 articles, to date. I wrote a few more that the general public did not see for one reason or another, and have several more in the hopper, for a rainy day, in various stages of completion. For all intent and purposes then, I have written over 100 stories, or about a post in 2 out of every 3 days, for the last six-months.

That's a lot but, when I began, I thought I would write something every day. Less than two-weeks in however, I realized I wasn't going to be able to keep that pace. After all, I do have a life with a day job, a Son and pregnant wife, a bowling league, two gaming systems and a couple of friends that I like to keep up with from time to time. Besides, to try to write more often I would really have to stretch the limits of the topics I am truly interested in and that would quickly get boring for me and the few regular readers that I do have.

No... I am pretty happy with the volume of articles that I have been posting; I am very happy that I am having fun doing this; but what is most surprising to me, is that I'm not too, terribly bad at it either. This is only my humble opinion and, in the past, I would never consider myself a writer but you'll have to admit there is a lot worse stuff out there on the Internet and a lot worse ways for you or me to spend the amount of time it takes to read or write it.

As I was looking back on the year and the postings in this blog, I wanted to do something to review the Best of 2008. I couldn't do a straight Top Ten or something because there are so many different types of entries that I would have a hard time choosing, so I just went through and picked the ones that I thought had some kind of merit and started to list them for what they were worth.

I don't expect anyone to sit and read through them all but, if you are visiting for the first time, this will give you a good idea of how we roll. If you have been here before, it may highlight something that you missed or something that you like but forgot about. This is what I came up with:

Best Way to Make a Big Announcement... The Big Question

I would have picked How to Announce Your Expecting (A Baby) but absolutely no one was reading my blog at the time except MLW and she already knew she was pregnant so there wasn't much of an impact.

Best Post for a Good Cause... Beat It, Beat It, Beat It

Here again, I could have gone with I Survived A Major Brain Injury... but it was an earlier article that no one read. I think it was a few weeks later that I really hit a good stride and built some rhythm into my stories. A lot of it had to do with opening up and having the courage to write what I really felt instead of just trying to sell a T-shirt. The story about Tocco helped me do that.

Best Idea That Just Didn't Catch On... Jonah's Brothers Tour T-Shirts

I thought this was so clever. Obviously, the world didn't agree with me. An honorable mention goes to All You Need Is Love. It wasn't as good of an idea but just as many people "got it"-- none.

Best Surprise That It Did Catch On... A Trip to the Land of the Lost

I had no idea that anyone ever watched this show and really didn't expect much interest at all but have gotten a ton of visits from the posting. If I didn't have the sleestack design, I could say the same thing about What Did the Headless Horseman Say to Frankenstein, but I do so I can't.

Best Self Help Article... How to Quit Smoking Overnight

I wouldn't recommend it for everyone but if you are really desperate...

Best Instructional Post... I'm an Excellent Driver

Ohh... please don't get me started!

Best Political Comment... What Is A Bellwether State?

Thank God we don't have to deal with that again for another four or eight years.

Best Spiritual Story... From the Bottom of My Heart

I planned on reading this during the Thanksgiving Sharing Service at church but was almost sure I would chicken out at the last minute. Somehow I worked up the courage to do it in front of the whole congregation. It went over pretty well and I felt great afterward-- Who would've thought?

Best List... The Twelve Days of Christmas Specials

I'm starting to like this list format. This was the first one I did and I like it but wish I would've included links to each one as I did in America's Top 40: Christmas.

Best Use of Sarcasm... When I Was Your Age...

There is not enough sarcasm in the world today.

Best Post That Required A Lot of Research... What's In Your Name?

Took me a few days to put this one together-- last time I'll do that.

Best "Let's Roll"... 1.07

MLW hates these but, even she will admit, the Halloween Edition was a real Thriller!

Best "You Gotta Be Kidding Me"... 1.01

This one still freaks me out every time I hear it and they are still claiming it's true!

Best Response... Things That I Learned in 2008

MLW liked this article so much that she forwarded it to everyone in her address book. I think we, directly or indirectly, heard comments from every one of those kind folks. Thanks.

Best Issue That I Would Most Like to See Go Viral... It Only Seems Fair

You can help! Read this and forward to anyone you know that visits a chiropractor, anyone who knows someone in chiropractic treatment or anyone else who may be interested in joining the cause.

Best Post... Memories of "The Lot"

It's just my opinion but, then again, the whole thing is my opinion so if I say it is the best... it's the best.

That's the best I can narrow it down. I can't imagine how tough it will be to do this next year when there is a whole year's posts to consider. I think the articles are getting better as I go so as long as I can keep coming up with decent subject matter, 2009 should be looking good.

Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for reading. Buy T-Shirts. Peace.

Monday Morning Quarterback 1.15

2009-01-05T12:40:00.007-06:00

Happy New Year! What is today-- the 5th already? It is real easy to lose track of time on these four-day-weekends. I never feel that I get enough done or have enough fun during that time, either. We were awfully busy, though, so here are the notes from the week:

• Working in a city like St. Louis, with a large percentage of African-Americans, Catholics and Americans, you would think that we would be off for Dr. Martin Luther King Day, Good Friday or President's Day but we don't have another holiday until Memorial Day.

• I would be interested to know if the rate of heart attack is higher in the first week of the New Year because out-of-shape individuals try to fulfill their year-long resolutions to get fit in four-days. There must have been three times the regular number of people at the gym this morning and, from the looks of things, a few of them were not going to make it through to Wednesday. I didn't have to perform mouth-to-mouth on anyone but it may have been a different story if one guy didn't pull a hammy or that lady didn't blow out her knee.

• You can partially blame seasonal depression on lack of sunlight but, I believe, more of it has to do with transitioning from the joyous, active, event-filled, holiday season to January and February, when the best thing you have to hope for is... March.

• We have not had that bad of a Winter, yet, here in the Mid-West. If you are looking for snow you will have to wait until four-six-hours before MLW goes into labor for the really deep stuff-- with a 46-mile trip to the hospital... you can count on it.

• The one good thing about this time of year is that it is Trivia Night Season. If you are as excited as I am visit How to Win a Trivia Night and give add your input.

• Wii is just what it Nintendo markets it as-- a really good way for families to play games together... even for the kids and Mom. The motion sensing remotes are pretty cool, but for serious gamers I still recommend Xbox360.

• The cymbals for the RockBand drum kit are pretty much just for show as they just replace the corresponding drum pad, but they are fun to crash. What I really want to try is the mufflers that reduce the amount of sound produced when you hit the pads with the stick. If they work, why don't they just modify the drum set that comes with the game to include them as standard? It would inexpensively improve the quality of the game greatly.

• The over/under of when I will last write 2008 when I mean to write 2009 is May 11.

• The first time that I will have to choose between MLW and M3S is coming up this Summer. My Son asked, yesterday, if he could have his next Birthday Party at the place that his cousin had his and my Wife has his and his unborn brother's parties planned until they are 14. There is nothing in those plans about going to the "jumpy place".

• I have been trying to prepare M3S's room for when the new baby will take over the nursery and had the bright idea on Saturday to build him a new bed. It told me right on the Website that I could do it, and I believed it. My Dad built my brother and I a circus cage bunk bed when we were little with bars and everything so I have asked for his help. I will give updates on how the project is going and post pictures when/if it is complete.

• I have realized that I miss a whole lot more than just the company gossip by not smoking anymore. This time of year you come in before dawn and leave after dusk. In a building with no windows, if you don't leave for lunch, it can be days before you see the sun.

• A nice December shopping season has definitely made SkeetzTeez a success! Now that the holidays are over, however, sales have been less than impressive. Except for the occasional interest in my adult designs, almost all of my sales have been the Big Brother or Big Sister shirts. Because, it seems, that there are so many pregnant women that like my designs, I am working on an expanded maternity section with the intent on opening a shop for new baby families only!

• I have gotten a lot of great comments on my blog in recent weeks that I would like to thank my readers for the kind words. I have gone back and re-read some of my older entries and will publish The Best of 2008 later in the week with my favorites. I hope you will enjoy them!

• I love to hear your feed back! (Even if it isn't always, totally, positive.) Please respond to the articles and tell me what you think!

Read This. Buy T-Shirts. Peace.

Things I Learned in 2008

2008-12-31T08:51:00.006-06:00

For the life of me I cannot remember who first told me that, a good measure of what kind of day you had is to ask yourself, "What did I learn today?" but it has stuck with me because at the end of most every day for as long as I can remember, I lay in bed and try to recall something new that I learned. Some days, especially when I was younger, it was easy-- and others I would struggle to come up with anything significant but, even then, I learned that you can't learn something new every day.

Here, at the end of 2008, I thought it would be interesting to, similarly, think about the things I learned in the year to determine if we can consider it a success. Obviously, I will not be able to include all 300-some-odd things that I learned every day throughout the year, but after careful consideration, I have been able to categorize most all of those individual things into one or more of three basic themes:

You can teach an old dog new tricks-

When you lose the ability to do so much, as I did when I had the stroke, it is very easy to see the whole learning process. I had a new found understanding of how we learn new things that opened my eyes to what my two-year-old Son was going through.

I was very lucky that the brain attack had little-to-no effect on any of my cognitive abilities. Even the challenges with speech that I had were, mainly, motor problems in my face, mouth and tongue. My mental capacity was not affected so I didn't have to re-learn anything I knew and I could concentrate on re-learning how to do things like walking, talking, writing, typing, driving and anything else that we take for granted every day.

Stuff that I had seemed simple to master decades before, like juggling, were way too complex and, even though, my brain knew how to do it my body just couldn't pull it off. Most of that stuff did come back as I practiced and re-taught myself to do it, however not everything has been that easy as I found out at my niece's Birthday Party. I have roller skated very well since I was seven or eight years old, even playing on roller hockey leagues growing up, but when I strapped on the skates and stepped on to that familiar wooden floor, I was painfully reminded about the laws of gravity. I thought, for sure that would come back to me but, for some bizarre reason, I just couldn't get the whole balance thing down and I looked like Cox or a first-time four-year-old out there.

It was like a new experience all of the time for a while-- I had a lot of good days because I was learning so much and seeing, at least, some improvement every day. This inspired me to seek out other ways to gain enlightenment and learn about as much as I could. I think of myself as pretty smart, to begin with, but I really dug in to research things that I was interested in by reading books, searching the Web and talking with people. Having a, somewhat, obsessive personality anyway, it wasn't hard for me to get seriously into subjects like the brain, strokes, anxiety, health, religion and many others.

Feeling that spending too much time with these endeavors would be unhealthy I also set out to find some more creative outlets. What started out as trying to sell some of my designs in the SkeetzTeez cafepress shop turned into me getting involved with and learning about many other Internet applications. Squidoo, Twitter and Facebook taught me about social networking, guerrilla marketing and even some basic Web design and html and this blog has taught me that writing can be fun and I am not too terribly bad at it.

If there is a lesson I can say that can be learned from this it is: we are never too old to learn. I thought that I was, but when thrown into a situation that I was required to use my brain again, I liked it-- and even thrived on it. I can't help to think that many of the older folks that I saw struggling in rehab with me would have had a better time with it if they embraced the learning experience a little more.

Make what's important... important-

You are, probably, thinking-- just like I used to... "Oh yes, I do that. I have all of my priorities all ironed out and I'm sure that I would never second-guess myself."

I hope that you never find yourself in the predicament, but until you are in a situation that you are sure you are going to lose everything you have... you can not, truly, appreciate it. As you can probably tell from reading this blog, I am quite the idealist--I am very opinionated and am not afraid to tell you what I think of anything. Whereas this has been true for most of my adult life and did not change when I had the stroke, the same cannot be said about the message that I was preaching.

I used to proclaim things like, "Work hard-- Play hard!", "Don't be a Wimp!" and "Nice Guys Finish Last!" but, now, I am singing a different tune. I have written about my feelings on this subject on several occasions but it is very important to me so it is worth repeating... tell the people that you love that you love them-- be so very thankful that you have them in your life.

There was a time when work was the most important thing in my life. Even after I was married and had a family there were times-- even if it was only a few minutes-- that work or a TV show, video game, sleep or one of a hundred other stupid little things were more important than the things that were supposed to be important. Even now that I have been through that experience when I knew I could have lost them, as a selfish person, there are still times that I make the wrong choice about what is important.

I don't feel like I need to drive this point home because almost everyone knows what is truly important and I think that they also know that they probably don't do a good enough job of making the important things most important. Most, however, could use a gentle reminder now-and-then to counter the effects of the things that make it hard for us to do-- selfishness, pride, greed, anxiety and shame, to name a few... I know that I can.

You are not in control-

This is, by far, the most important thing that I learned this year. It, too, was a lesson learned as result of my brain attack, but this lesson is what all the other ones are based on, the reason for such a remarkable recovery and why I am a stronger and, just all-around, better person from the whole experience.

I originally learned this lesson in Sunday School in first- or second-grade and it is the basic theme of what you are taught in church most weeks and everything we read in the Bible. I was listening to the lesson most every time I heard it but I was convinced being a strong, intelligent, experienced man, that I had at least some control of my life. It took a stroke to, literally, take all of that control away, for me to realize that God is in control.

Not only is God in control, but we have to embrace the fact that He is because it is only going to be harder for us if we do not accept it. I learned this, first-hand, when I finally realized that nothing I did was going to make my recovery faster or more complete-- not working harder or longer, any amount of money, worry, medication or treatment. No one else could do anything to help me either... except God.

I was given a second chance at, exactly, that moment-- a second chance to live and a second chance to take what I had learned from the lesson and apply it to my life. I took that chance (What other option did I have?) and I am still learning from it. Why, just last week, at church I learned that God has a plan for all of us and there is no way for us to change that plan or even find out what it is. All we can do is seek Him through His Son, Jesus, and He will meet us and change our lives.

Trust Him. I have seen it happen!

Here's wishing that you and yours have a happy New Year and that you learn a lot in 2009! Peace.

What A Long, Strange Trip: 2008

2008-12-29T12:29:00.006-06:00

I suppose, now that I have a blog, I am not going to be able to get through 2008 without doing some kind of Year In Review type of article. I thought I would be excited to put this one together but, for some reason, I can't seem to get in the right mood. I have started writing several times only to abandon the story partially done or scrapping the whole thing and starting over.

Most of the reason that I don't want to write a 2008 Review is that everybody does one-- not only bloggers but all kinds of Internet, print and broadcast sources will produce their lists of the most, least, best, worst and biggest person, places and things of the year. In addition, I want my articles to be real... but not too real. Not that I am lying to anyone out there but I don't feel the need to tell complete strangers (and some other acquaintances) my most intimate thoughts and every personal feeling. I am, however, enjoying that I get to write about interesting topics, funny stories and a important cause or two and get a kick out of the fact that, at least some, other people are reading the stuff.

Therefore, I am going to try, again, to do my 2008 Year In Review and, maybe, by Wednesday, I will have something ready that I am comfortable enough sharing with the rest of the world... or the very small number of individuals that find it.

2008 started out at home for us. We are not really a big party-type of family anyway and, with a two-year old running the house, we like to be as close to home as possible most of the time, but especially on amateur night. It was fun! We invited some friends (and their kids) over, played video games, ate munchies and enjoyed each others' company.

Having had a stroke just five-weeks earlier and, basically, being paralyzed on the right half of my body, it was amazing that I was able to do that much. I was in therapy every day I could get it from November 28 through the end of the year. We had to get as many visits in 2007 as possible to submit to the insurance companies and they couldn't work me hard enough as I figured that was the only way I was going to improve. We did see some improvement almost every day! It wasn't always dramatic progress, but it was almost every day.

By Christmas I could walk well enough to get around without the cane or any other aides. I could hold a drumstick with a modified grip on New Years but it was very difficult to keep up with my friends on Rock Band. MLW talked all of our guests into writing down their resolutions so she could mail them as a reminder in six-months but I was just starting to be able to write and it wasn't very legible so I just kept mine to myself.

I had already made a remarkable recovery and wanted my resolution to be a tribute to that. Without going into too much detail, then, I can tell you that I promised myself to do everything I could to be a better man than I was before the stroke. I wanted to work hard to be stronger physically, but it meant much more to me than that. I can get a little more into this later but, for now, let's leave it with... I wanted to be sure that what should be important was more important than what wasn't and I didn't want to waste my time with things that were unimportant.

There was a tremendous amount of progress made in the month of February. My therapists started dropping me, starting with my PT and then, although I was still having a difficult time speaking, my speech therapist. Most of my large motor skills had returned and, while I worked by myself to build strength in them, I still visited my OT for couple of hours a day, several days a week to work on my small motor skills. I was extremely anxious to be released to drive again because, although I was not looking forward to getting back to the daily grind, I had to get out of the house.

The first week in March I finally passed my drivers' test and was able to do exactly that, followed by going back to work at the beginning of the third week. Looking back, this was probably two-to-four weeks early as I was having a very hard time getting back into the swing of things. I did, however, begin to rid myself of some of the worthlessness that I had been feeling in the previous 13-weeks as I was a little less of a burden on my family and friends-- especially my wife, who was incredibly gracious, helpful, merciful, kind and understanding through the whole ordeal.

I made such a remarkable recovery that the doctors said I could only use the stroke as an excuse for a year. I used every last minute of that time but, for the sake of this blog post, we will leave off of it here in April. I think I am still recovering a little bit every day. I notice it most in my speech and endurance-- the two things that are effected most by the severe fatigue I was feeling as my brain shut down all other bodily functions in order to save energy so that it could heal faster.

I had said from the beginning, part in jest-- part for real, that I only wanted to recover 99% so that I would always have a reminder of the event and the important lessons that I learned from it. I don't really find it odd, therefore, that the only real pain that I ever had was in my pinkie finger, of all things, and if you didn't know that I had a stroke, I'm sure that you couldn't tell, but that finger still hurts like it did the first day. Be careful what you wish for.

In May things started heating up... and I am not talking about the weather. MLW and I celebrated our our forth Anniversary with a date night. I really can't say enough good things about my wife. Before we met, I couldn't imagine me being married and having a family-- now, I can't even start to imagine what my life would be like if I wasn't lucky enough to have her-- but trust me... it would not be pretty. I am saying all of these things right now because she is so kind that she is one of the few people that regularly read my blog even though she doesn't always like it and I don't tell her (or show her) how much she means to me often enough.

This was also the month that I made some decisions about my life, the direction that it was going, and the goals that we wanted to achieve. Here, again, without getting into a lot of detail this is not going to make a lot of sense and I am not going to get into a lot of detail but let me say this... for now-- you have to have goals.

Some of my goals had to do with getting back to my roots-- doing art for arts' sake and because it was fun like I did when I was young. So in June I set out on a quest to find a more creative outlet than the corporate (par-done mi French) crap that I had to knock out at the office every day. I found this outlet in SkeetzTeez-- a cafepress shop featuring T-shirts and other gift items with unique, custom designs imprinted on them. Although this was filling that creative void that I was feeling, at least to some point, there was still something missing but all that would have to wait because...

I don't know if it was the date night or not but on the Forth of July, M2S got to tell all of our family his secret, "Mamma's got a baby in her tummy"! The rest of the world found out shortly after that because I was just so excited that I couldn't keep it a secret. In fact, this was the subject of my second blog post on the 17th of the month. I started the blog to help promote the SkeetzTeez shop and also created several lenses on Squidoo for the same purpose. If you have followed the blog, you already know more detail than I am going to be able to give you in this review but, please, feel free to continue through the rest of the year.

In August, our two-year-old Son became M3S. That kid means so much to me! He really is my best friend, my inspiration for doing everything that I have to do and my joy just to carry on. I don't know if it is just his age, that I got to spend a lot more quality time with him since I was not working, or that I usually have to sleep with him in his bed because Mamma's pregnant, but we have become so much closer this year. Not to get into the stroke thing again but, just to let you know how the recovery was going, at his birthday party, I climbed up on the roof and held up a 35-pound pinata in a pirate costume (me not the pinata) so a bunch of delinquents could beat on it with a Wiffleball bat.

I also wrote about auditioning for the church worship group in this month. Update: I made it! I have been singing at least once a month since then. I really, really like this church because I feel like we are all contributing to the community and we have been accepted into it. There are several changes that are upcoming that, I hope, will make the group stronger rather than weaker in the next year.

Most of September was spent on the Internet trying to learn all of the tricks of the trade to promote T-shirt sales. Overall, I think I did pretty good. In addition to the blog and Squidoo, I got involved with other social networking applications like Twitter and, eventually, Facebook. Besides getting somewhat proficient at most of the programs, I also got involved with and even lead a few groups to cross-promote members' cafepress shops. The way I look at it: if someone is going to buy someone else's stuff over mine, they would have probably done it any way. We might as well team up so every potential customer sees as many different designs as possible. Some shopkeepers agree with that philosophy-- others think I'm nuts.

October was a big month as I celebrated my 43rd Birthday, that I honestly thought that I would never see by learning that our second-(and probably last)born was going to be a son (Gabriel, I think). This brought about mixed feelings, as I wrote about at the time, but in the long run, I am so happy that I could just (par-done mi French, again) dance! This is also about the time that I started my crusade to inform everyone I could about the dangers of chiropractic stroke. I know... your tired of hearing about it, so I won't get into it... just remember... read this!

The presidential election took place in November-- finally! After three-and-a-half years of campaigning with such a disappointing outcome, I'm sick and tired about talking politics. I had more important things to address! With the Anniversary of my brain attack looming, I was reminded by my pinkie, of my resolution. Although, my attention had shifted to the probability of it being caused by chiropractic manipulation, I was still letting myself down by not fulfilling the promises that I made myself. Time to, among other things, get back to the gym and get a better overall attitude.

I have been doing better in December, but there is still much room for improvement and I am looking forward to 2009. I intentionally left my resolution a little vague last year and that is against all of the rules for goal making. I need to be more specific next year. Overall, though, I think this year has been a great one and, more importantly, I have made it through the 2008 Year In Review. Reading back through it, I don't like it but... I'm still going to publish because I took all of this time to write it.

I'm about halfway through with another one from a different angle, however. Maybe tomorrow I will try to finish that one up and post it: Things I Learned in 2008? If not... write to you next year! In the mean time... Happy New Year. Read this. Buy T-shirts. Peace.

Monday Morning Quarterback 1.14

2008-12-22T11:34:00.008-06:00

As I was going through my notes from the weekend, I noticed that almost anything I had to say today was related, in some way, to the Holidays so I am going to save those couple of other things for another day and make this a special Christmas edition of the Monday Morning Quarterback:

• I have thought that I was done shopping now three times only to have to go out again-- each time to a more hostile environment.

• Last night, on what I thought was my last time out, I picked up our Christmas Cards. We, not only, waited until the very last minute to send the cards, we didn't shoot the picture until yesterday afternoon. Thank God for one hour photo cards.

• I think I made my last Christmas gift sale on SkeetzTeez yesterday, too, as it will be too late to guarantee shipments before the 24th. I will put together a full report when the month is up but, overall, I did pretty good and I think the sales I made will generate a lot of additional traffic in the coming months.

• I was also getting a lot of visits directly from my blog posting on The Twelve Days of Christmas Specials and the article on My Top 14 Christmas Song Performances was getting enough hits that I put together a Americas Top 40: Christmas lens.

• We had a extended family member that we used to make fun of some 25-30 years ago because they would send out an update on what everybody was up to in a typewritten photo-copied family newsletter in the Christmas Cards that we received every year. The joke is on us as they were way ahead of their time and that is more of the norm than the exception now.

• When are we going to finally give in and go with Christmas e-cards? They are faster, easier and more eco-friendly than the traditional method.

• I don't want to come off sounding like a Scrooge here because, really, I'm not! I love Christmas and I love the holidays. I think it is for sincere reasons that I like to give rather than receive gifts-- and not that I don't like what people give me. I get the best feeling from someone (usually a child, because you know that they aren't faking it) opening the present that I picked-out for them and their face filling with joy.

• Some people, however, I absolutely dread shopping for because no matter how much effort you put in or how much money you spend, you can't pick a winner. You know the type... you may get an insincere, "Oh, it's just what I wanted!" or "Coooool" and then it's tossed off to the side with the other stuff while the ungrateful bastage looks for the next box to unwrap... but I digress...

• I have heard a lot of people saying that they are cutting back this year because of the economy. Let me be perfectly clear when I say, "I think this is a good thing", because I think we all do (and spend) way too much around the holidays. We should spend less money at Christmas and more time with friends and family and thinking about the true meaning of the blessed day. If you do have two nickels to rub together, though, this is the time to spend your money for three reasons:

There are some great deals out there because of the law of supply and demand. Manufacturers and Retailers are slashing prices because people aren't spending as much. The pie is, therefore, smaller and businesses are being aggressive to be sure to get their piece.
It will help the economy. Capitalism is like a machine-- with many moving parts. If one of those parts stop working, the rest of the machine breaks-down. We, as consumers, are part of that machine and our job, as consumers, is to consume or buy things.
Invest in the future. There are three possibilities of what the economy is going to do in the next twelve months-- get worse, get better, or stay the same. If you have a job now, you should enjoy yourself because we don't know what things are going to be like next year. Don't get me wrong... You should be responsible with your money (save for a rainy day and stuff like that) but don't worry about things you can't control.

• On a similar note. Give. The tough economy will hurt the people that it are already hurting more than the people who are not in trouble. One of the first things in the budget that is cut when things get rough is charitable contributions so the organizations that help the individuals in need-- need your help. I have three reasons for this, too, but I should'nt have to and I won't elaborate: It's the right thing to do, it could someday be you, it will make you feel good.

• I was so mad at my parents when they told me the big news about Christmas and everything that I believed. They lied to me for so long and I was naive enough to fall for their bogus fables (this was worse than my Dad's "square-needle in the left-nut" stories) and, what made it harder to deal with is, every adult that I knew was in on the conspiracy and was aware that I was that incredibly, gullible. That is why I felt so horrible when I had to use the old, "now be a good boy or Santa won't bring you any presents", line with M3S this weekend. It felt so cruel that I couldn't think of a reply when he asked, "How does Santa see us?" and I had to defer to MLW... I still want to believe...

• After several years of over-politically-correctness by the general public, many people that I have run into this year are again wishing others a Merry Christmas. I, honestly, don't mind when someone says Happy Holidays to me; I wouldn't be offended if someone would tell me to have a Happy Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or Ramadan, for that matter; however I prefer Merry Christmas. Here's what I don't understand, though-- What's the big deal? Why are there lawsuits about what Holiday decorations can or cannot be displayed in public places? How can wars be waged for decades and people die by the thousands for no better reason than differing beliefs?

I am no theologian and I have not extensively studied any religion or culture other than my own-- Christian but, from what I understand, all of these and most other cultural beliefs in the history of the modern world are based on the Golden Rule-- Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Seriously--check it out!

Although I may say Happy Holidays or Happy Hanakkah to any Jewish person I know, I usually greet others with Merry Christmas around this time of year because I am a Christian, therefore I celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. Others may be celebrating or observing different things, but all of us could certainly use as many well wishes as we can get in this crazy, mixed-up world that we live in. I sincerely hope that I don't offend thee with any Holiday Greeting that I give you because, when it really comes down to it, I am just wishing upon you all of the peace, love, joy and all of the other good things that we all deserve so much.

Merry Christmas.

Let's Roll! 1.09

2008-12-19T13:10:00.004-06:00

I've got two or three articles in the works that I have not been able to finish-up or publish, for one reason or another this week, including my Designs We Like blog exchange review that was supposed to go out the third Wednesday of the month.

That's, probably, the biggest challenge in being a Mac user in a PC-Internet-sales-world. There are some really cool applications-- such as this one-- that are not fully-functioning on this platform. In this case I trade-off the ability to paste text from another source in order to be able to key-command bullets. (See ••••?) I would much rather be allowed to paste because then I would be able to copy and drop-in the blog exchange information and get that posted so they don't throw me out of the group. I promise, guys, that I will do it as soon as I can get access to a PC!

In the mean time I have, again, run across some pretty cool stuff in the past week so... Let's Roll...

Eight Guinness World Record Attempts That Failed (Hilariously)

I usually try to avoid listing another blog in this one-- especially if I don't know the author-- because there are just too many sickos out there. This one, however, I couldn't pass up. It features people trying to break eight world records and have their name recorded in the famous Guinness Book. Most of them are your typical half-wits who forget to check what the record was, if someone else had broken it recently or how to do some dangerous stunt like fire-walking, before attempting the feat. Then there is the group trying to break the world domino toppling record and killed an endangered bird that flew into the building before it knocked everything down only to be invaded by animal rights protesters aiming to sabotage the effort.

Nothing, though, beats the guy trying break coconuts with his bare hands! I have watched this video several times and it only raises more questions each time. Is this some kind of ninja stunt because it looks like he is wearing martial arts gear and a black belt? Had he ever tried to break a coconut with his bear hands before? Does he break any with his karate chops? Did he just miss those coconuts, altogether? And most strange to me, why does he move on to the next one if he doesn't get the first one? Does he think his miss wasn't caught on film?

I don't get this guy but, even though it is in another language, you don't need sub-titles to tell the reporter is thinking, "This guy's a tool!" If you don't do anything else with this article, check out this video and tell me what you think is going through this dude's head besides... oww!... oww!... ouch!... boy that hurts!... oww!...

NORAD Tracks Santa

The kid's know more about the Internet and the computer than the adults anyway so they probably already know about this one. NORAD has been tracking Santa for many years now because they are pretty bored since the end of the Cold War. There is a countdown clock for the big day, an activity page for the kids and this year, starting on Christmas Eve, you can use Google Maps to track Santa in 3-D! I don't know what, exactly, that is but anything to occupy M3S until he is worn out enough to crash is good for me.

NorthPole.com

Built for the little ones but there are plenty of tools here for Mom and Dad too. Visit Santa's Secret Village to read stories, play games and activities, cook-up a Christmas treat or even check out the weather at the North Pole. In the Mailroom you can write to Santa or send e-cards to friends and family and in the Workshop you will be able to search special toy collections and find online resources. Maybe too late for this year but you can bookmark the page for '09.

SantaClaus.net

Similar to the previous site, this one one has a much slicker graphic interface but that may be contributing to the lag I was experiencing. It has a lot of the same games, songs and activities, a Santa Tracker of it's own and, as it looks, the real North Pole weather forecast but this has an option for a telephone call from Santa, as well as the letter. I am a little unsure who sponsors either Website, but this one interrupts some of the activities and such with ads and the other one asks for donations so I'm sure the Claus clan is not behind either.

SkeetzTeez

Hey-- it might be a little late for this year-- but remember there are specials on last-minute, express shipping and you can always give gifts after Christmas-- SkeetzTeez has the coolest, pop-culture T-shirts and gifts you can find just about anywhere!

I better say Merry Christmas now in case I don't get a chance to write again in the next six-days... Merry Christmas. Read this. Buy T-shirts. Peace.

Designs We Like 1.02

2008-12-18T11:52:00.005-06:00

The December blog exchange features The Copy Editor-- All About Style. To be completely honest, I have never been overly fond of Copy Editors in my professional life. I have always thought that they thought to much of words while, as an artist, I know that the picture was more important.

The same holds true for this cafepress shop but, although the designs offered here are lacking in the graphics department, it more than makes up for it with some of the funniest stuff I have seen on the Internet. The category named headline bloopers features product with real headlines found in national or international newspapers. It may sound simple, but with double entendres such as Police: Crack Found in Man's Buttocks, One-Arm Man Applauds the Kindness of Strangers and Iraqi Head Seeks Arms as well as over a dozen other hilarious clunkers you have to wonder if these headline writers didn't know exactly what they were doing.

This shop is full of other fun stuff in categories like Language at Large, Unsung Heroes, Journos, The Copy Desk and Dept. of Corrections with lots of cool products to choose from including T-shirts, bags, caps and desk accessories, as well as a large selection of value Tees. Overall... a lot of neat designs that you should make it a point to check out as soon as possible.

Now, to get this published, all I have to do is run it past my copy editor. Wish me luck!

This blog is part of a crossover blog. Other Participants in this crossover blog are:

http://ateasetees.wordpress.com/

http://getyergoat-goatgifts.blogspot.com

http://www.nanwrightart.com

http://randomshirts.blogspot.com/

http://skeetzteez.blogspot.com/

http://idesignbrian.wordpress.com/

http://www.shopkeeperdesigns.com

http://autismshowucare.blogspot.com

http://www.gocamelphotos.blogspot.com/

http://einselgaenger.blogspot.com/

http://beflip.blogspot.com/

Read this. Buy T-shirts. Peace.

Only Nine More Shopping Days 'Til Christmas

2008-12-16T10:32:00.013-06:00

How can I be so ready for Christmas and so not ready for Christmas at the same time? There comes a point in the holiday season when that Christmas Spirit just kicks in-- everyone is a little more joyous and friendly and everything is a little more laid back and easy going-- but I haven't felt that change happen yet this year. It has begun to look like Christmas, but I just don't feel it.

It can't be because of the weather as we have been having sort of the classic Mid-West Winter with periods of ice, snow and frigid temperatures. Anyone that has spent a Holiday Season North of the Mason-Dixon line knows that the beautiful, starlit, snow-covered landscape that is found on Christmas Cards and December calendar pages is all a fantasy. In reality, those scenes only last 15-minutes until the plows come by and spread melting chemical and turn everything into a dirty, gray slush that splatters everywhere and sticks and freezes to everything.

Maybe it's because of the economy. Not that people are not shopping, because it truly is a nightmare out there at the malls... and even worse at the discount stores. I think WalMart is trying to cut expenses by manning only a small percentage of checkout lanes for all of those manic shoppers looking for the ultimate deal. They have increased the number of Self-Checkout lanes, though, but that doesn't do much good if you are stuck in line behind anyone that was born before the invention of bar codes-- they don't know what they are, how they work, or were to find them on the package. That is why they are at the store shopping instead of doing the smart thing and getting all of their gifts at SkeetzTeez.

Target seems to be in the same boat. I don't think there are more shoppers but the lines are, certainly, longer. I witnessed a poor girl working in electronics loose her mind over the weekend. She was huddled in the center of the island-like service desk, desperately trying to flag down some help on her walkie-talkie, while being bombarded with requests and questions from all directions. After several rejections from the automatic switchboard operator she threw up her arms, unlocked and opened all of the glass display cases containing the expensive cameras and video games, and left. I felt sorry for her as she abandoned her post but then I had to laugh as several of the shoppers followed her, grabbing the kids and pushing their carts full of bargain merchandise and trying to keep up with the escaping attendant.

Maybe it is because of work. Last year I was out of work-- in rehab because of the stroke-- and it felt like Christmas from Thanksgiving. Yesterday I was talking with a couple of co-workers at lunch and they agreed, too-- we can't wait for December 24! When you really think about it, work is all about the things that Christmas is not about-- the bottom line, making the sale, money (Okay, work is about things that Christmas is not supposed to be about). I know that some companies try to endorse Christmas Spirit but, in this economy, that's hard and businesses are tightening their belts and cutting the fat.

I truly hope that I can teach M3S about what Christmas is all about. He is so smart that he is at a stage that he is asking and learning about things that I am not ready for him to know. Because of that, I think we have to start teaching him what we want him to learn now-- before he picks it up on his own. MLW and I often find ourselves asking each other, "Where did he learn that?" Most of it is good so we can assume we are doing well or, at least, surrounding him with good people that are doing well, but we have to be careful and stay on top of things.

He took part in his first Christmas program at church last week. It was only a few songs in the chorus, but at three-years-old what do you expect? He really did a great job, too, when he wasn't playing air guitar or laying on the ground. As I was standing in the back of church trying to hold the video camera still and as high as I could to avoid a frame full of the the back of people's heads, a lady noticed M3S's shenanigans and said, "Oh, he's so cute!" Yes-- it's cute now, but just wait three or four years. I'm willing to bet if he is still pulling those stunts then she's going to have some other four-letter words for him besides "cute".

The whole production was written by a lady at church and told the Christmas Story through a candy cane, of all things. She really did a great job because it taught M3S that we give gifts at Christmas because the three "wise guys" (Greg, Frankenstein and Merv) brought gifts to the baby Jesus. When I let him loose in the store to pick out a present for his Mama he kept grabbing stuff and asking, "Is this in the Bible?"

I worry that he is going to be a good boy when he grows up but, with comments like that, I find it hard to believe that he will be anything but good. His little brother, however, I know is going to be another story. I have a strong feeling that we are going to be in big trouble with him because people say siblings are often on different ends of the personality spectrum. I have no complaints about this one so I bet the second is going to be a handful.

I've still got a few months to prepare but there are only nine more shopping days to Christmas! I have to quit writing now and do a little last-minute e-shopping at SkeetzTeez.

Merry Christmas. Read this. Buy T-shirts. Peace.

America's Top 40: Christmas

2008-12-12T13:46:00.014-06:00

I promised, earlier in the week, that I was going to do a follow-up to my Top Twelve Days of Christmas Specials and List my favorite Christmas songs. I don't really have 40 but I have been working to narrow down the list to 10-12 for several days now and I just can't get there so I am going to go with my Top 14 Christmas Songs...

First the ground rules: All the songs are going to be Christmas songs. I'm as PC as the next guy but I wanted to pick my favorite holiday songs, I would. I celebrate Christmas, though, and I don't think Adam Sandler's, Hanukkah Song, would've broken the top 15, anyway, so I am going to stick with saying, "Merry Christmas". Note: I tried very, very hard to find some way to make the Counting Crow's, A Long December, a Christmas song but couldn't find even a remote reference to anything to do with the Winter Holiday so I had to leave it out which is a real shame because I love that tune.

Other ground rules include that we are not really judging the song, itself, but rather the specific performance of a song. Many of the entries are classic tunes that many artists have covered over the years and I am rating them on a single recorded version. In addition, to get the list down to a reasonable size, I had to eliminate songs that where written for a special Christmas program. Although many of the works have been included in Holiday TV shows or movies so this will eliminate some great classics like I'm Mister Heat Miser, Put One Foot in Front of the Other, and Christmastime Is Here or any of the other pieces composed by the great jazz musician, Vince Guaraldi.

Most of these songs also make this list of The Pop Top 100 Christmas Songs and you can see more detail and more fun stuff about this list at my Squidoo Lens: The Top 14 Pop Christmas Song Performances:

14. Wonderful Christmas Time- Paul McCartney (1979)- John Lennon was right when he said since McCartney went solo all that he does is silly love songs. That is, exactly, what this is but it made the list and Lennon's, Happy Christmas (War Is Over) didn't... What's wrong with that?

13. Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)- U2 (1987)- This song was originally done by Darlene Love on the 1963 Album, A Christmas Gift for You from Phil Spector and she provided backing vocals when U2 recorded it for the compilation album A Very Special Christmas. I really never knew it was Bono singing but, when I hear it, I always find myself singing along in a baritone voice... Christmas... Christmas...

12. Sleigh Ride- Ella Fitgerald (1960)- This is the first of a few classic Christmas songs that I could of pick one of many performances as over 65 artist have recorded it including the Spice Girls, the Squirrel Nut Zippers, the Muppets and Clay Aiken. I choose this version because it has gained popularity recently by being featured in the Will Ferrell, soon to be Holiday classic, Elf, and my dad always like Ella.

11. Merry Christmas Baby- Bruce Springsteen (1987)- Originally a Beach Boys release, the more popular Springsteen version was recorded live at an earlier Jersey Holiday Concert and also featured on the A Very Special Christmas album. The boss does it better than the even more popular, Santa Claus is Coming to Town, which I have mentioned before, no grown man should be recording.

10. It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas- Johnny Mathis (1986)- Written in 1951, I thought Mathis did his version way before '86 as I thought I remember hearing it as a kid. My mom loved Johnny Mathis and the Andrew Sisters- who also did this song and I could have just as easily included here but Johnny has an awesome voice. I do remember, however, singing this song and The Holly and the Ivory in a Junior High Choir Competition. I wonder, what ever happened to Ms. Davis?

9. Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree- Brenda Lee (1958)- I find it interesting that over 30 artists have recorded this song but, still, the most air-play goes to this original. I remember doing a grade school program to this one! There are some really cool guitar licks in this song.

8. The Christmas Song- Nat King Cole (1946)- Written by Mel Torme, Cole recorded the tune four times between '46 and '61. It has been covered by other artists over 100 times-- none of them me, but it is my favorite classic.

7. Do They Know It's Christmas?- Band Aid (1984)- I think my dad camped out at a record store to get this for me for Christmas. Written by Bob Geldof the song was recorded by 40-some-odd 80s superstars on November 24, 1984 and released by Band Aid four-days later to raise money for the famine in Ethiopia.

6. Christmas Is A Time to Say I Love You- Billy Squire (1982)- MTV was young and rock singer Billy Squier was at his peak of popularity when this cheery holiday song was filmed as sort of an office party singalong. It is just plain fun.

5. Christmas Wrapping- The Waitresses (1981)- One of the best bass lines-- not only in a Christmas song, but in any song. Arguably, the obscure, Kent, Ohio, punk band's biggest hit, along with I Know What Boys Like and Square Pegs the theme song to the TV series of the same name starring a young Sarah Jessica Parker.

4. 2000 Miles- The Pretenders (1983)- This dark, seasonal song was released as a B-side to "Middle of the Road" and was a major hit in the UK. Although Crissie Hynde may be one of the least attractive women in music, she has a beautiful voice that resonates straight to your soul in this song.

3. All I Want for Christmas is You- Mariah Carey (1994)- You may think it a bit odd, with all of the rock-type music in my top-15, that I would include a Mariah Carey tune, consider that this original is the diva's most successful song worldwide and it is in the top ten most downloaded ring-tones of all time. I just like it because it reminds me of the music that the old Motown girl groups used to do.

2. Easier Said Than Done- Jon Anderson (1985)- This was the first and only single released from Yes front-man, Jon Anderson's solo Christmas album, Three Ships. It got a little air-time in the late 80s, but I haven't heard it in years and I have worn out my LP.

1. Celebrate Me Home- Kenny Loggins (1976)- Celebrate Me Home was on Kenny Loggins' debut solo album of the same name. Although not released as a single, it evolved into one of Loggins' better-known songs, especially as it became a popular staple of radio stations' play-lists during the holiday season. I don't know exactly why, but when I hear this song and I am alone, it touches me in a way that I have a heard time holding back my emotions. That is why I rank it as number one.

Have a Merry Christmas or a Happy Holiday. Read this. Buy T-shirts. Peace.

SkeetzTeez Holiday Special

2008-12-10T11:31:00.006-06:00

I took a day of vacation on Monday to accompany MLW to her doctor appointment. I am in awe each time we have an ultrasound done. Just to see that little baby inside Mama's tummy is amazing! Not to get into this discussion right now but, the whole miracle of life thing is so... delicate, so precise and perfect, that I don't see how anyone can say that it is all just a freak accident, or nature taking it's course with evolution of the species and stuff.

Anyway...

It's also amazing how you take one day off work and there is three days worth of work for you when you come back. I will have to post the Top Ten Amazing Things That I Don't Understand but Can Always Count On sometime after the holidays. I have been working on a few articles including a follow-up to last week's The Twelve Days of Christmas Specials, The Twelve Days of Christmas Songs, but haven't had the time to make them presentable. In addition, we are in the peak of the Shopping Season and I haven't done a lot to push my cafepress shop, SkeetzTeez, lately so I thought I would do a little update.

Sales have been much like other shopkeepers told me to expect and, to my delight and surprise, the hot items this month have been the cool designs that I thought would do well, but have not up to this point. Although the Big Brother and Big Sister kid's stuff is still going along at the same pace, their numbers have been dwarfed by other merchandise imprinted with other designs.

Suck It Trebeck, Smallville Athletics Department and the Schweddy Balls art is flying off the shelves. It is not only T-shirts that are selling, either, as sweatshirts and hoodies are especially popular this time of year and the shop has also sold a BBQ apron and a notebook journal. The thing that is really cool though is I think I have sold at least one of every design except for Schmidts and I kind of thought that I might have a problem with that one.

Even obscure concepts like Airplane, MXC, Bunch of Carp, Man on First, Ta-Daaaaaa and All You Need is Love have sold, as well as the first shirt from my Old Time Sports Collection and a I Survived a Major Brain Injury and All I Got Was This Lousy T-shirt, of all things! In addition, the Charlestown Chiefs, Shermer High School, Land of the Lost, and several of the maternity ware are still moving and even a few of the newest addition, Cotton-headed Ninny-Muggins, from my favorite new Christmas Classic, Elf, starring Will Ferrell have been purchased.

All-in-all, I can't complain a bit on how, what started as an experiment and turned into a part-time job, has turned out. I mean-- I can always wish for more sales but, I think that will come with time. Already I have seen an increase in volume every month and, even more importantly, I have seen a larger percentage of sales coming directly from the shop instead of through the marketplace, as of late. In the first ten-days of December, I have already had more sales than in all of November, and about 20% of those have made the purchase through the shop-- which will lead to a bonus for me at the end of the month.

Another benefit to the increased exposure to SkeetzTeez is more exposure for my other projects including this blog and my Squidoo Lenses. This has become increasingly important to me as I have developed a lens to spread the word about my campaign to inform people about the risks of stroke from chiropractic treatment.

Which, by the way, will not cost you a dime to contribute to this cause! If you would like to help me, please visit the sight. If you like it you can help further by linking and bookmarking to it and visiting frequently, favoriting it, giving it a high rating, leaving a comment on the message board and forwarding it to friends and asking them to do the same. You can go one more step by building your own lens for a cause that is important to you. (All the proceeds from my lens go to the Stroke Network and, yes-- even regular visits will contribute a small amount to the charity.) I know it is a lot to ask but it would really be appreciated! Do it on Friday... nobody really works on Friday afternoon.

Alright-- this was a really boring post, but it is something. I will try to do better later in the week. In the mean time... Read This. (The reason I started the campaign I talked about.) Buy T-shirts. (There are only a few more internet shopping days left until Christmas.) Peace.

Let's Roll! 1.08

2008-12-05T16:15:00.000-06:00

I figured I would go ahead and do a special edition Let's Roll for the holidays now because there is so much cool stuff that I run across on the internet this time of year and I don't know if or when I'm going to have another shot to get it all in. I have included a wide variety of links with everything from ideas the get your shopping list going and tools to make shopping easier to places to shop online and fun stuff that is used to entice you to shop at a certain store. I'm sure glad that shopping... I mean Christmas, hasn't become commercialized. Let's Roll!

ElfYourself- If you have been sent this via email in the past, there is a good chance that you deleted it as spam, an e-chain letter or just another annoying e-greeting card that you wish no one would send because then you feel obligated to remember to send them one on their birthday. This one is actually pretty cool, however, and may be worth a few minutes of screwing with. It's free to elf yourself and send the short movie to your friends, though, it'll run you $4.99 to download the dance and more if you want to buy product with your elf pic imprinted on it.

PaperSnowflakes- Ever make paper snowflakes as a kid? This site is titled Paper Snowflakes for Children but I cut one for a project at work and it took me 45-minutes and I have take college courses on how to cut paper. It provides folding and cutting instructions as well as patterns to make about 600 different designs and tips and tricks from the pros (do you believe that there are professional snowflake cutters?) that will soon have you on the level of Will Ferrell in Elf.

2008 Christmas Specials TV Schedule- I made mention of this site in a posting earlier in the week, The Twelve Days of Christmas Specials: My Top Twelve Holiday Programs, but it is worth another plug. It has an extensive list of movies, special presentations and even regular programming holiday episodes by date with times and channels. Be sure to check out some of the old reruns of shows like Three's Company, Green Acres and The Beverly Hillbillies, to name a few, Christmas shows on TVLand.

Amazon.com- is one of the biggest e-retailers in the world so it wouldn't be surprising if you had heard of them or even made a purchase from the Website in the past but, until I was laid up last year and did all my shopping online, I was unaware of the many member features that the industry leader offers. Gift and wish lists based on your buying and searching habits are pretty common now but Amazon takes it a step or two further with special Gold Box discounts on merchandise on your list in addition to the Deal of the Day and Lightening Deals up to 66% off regular pricing.

Also when you are shopping at Amazon or similar sites, check the More Buying Choices sections. You can often find the same item in a new or like-new condition for a fraction of the price. When purchasing merchandise with this option, though, be sure to look over reviews of the seller and read things like the shipping policies to make sure you know what your getting into.

SkeetzTeez- If you are reading this blog because you enjoy it and not just because you're my wife's second-cousin, you feel sorry for me, or you owe me money-- I absolutely, positively guarantee that there is something that you or someone on your holiday shopping list (probably someone that is usually very hard to buy a gift for) is going to really dig at SkeetzTeez! I am still adding new designs almost every day but there is a ton of cool stuff to choose from, including the new seasonal stuff featuring Will Ferrell's Elf- Cotton-Headed Ninny-Muggins and Pete Schweddy's Balls shirts. Other popular items this holiday season include TV's Smallville and Suck It Trebeck, movie's Shermer H.S. Bulldogs and Slapshot's Charlestown Chiefs, the Old Time sports collection as well as some really smart, cool fashion designs.

SkeetzTeez has all kinds of T-shirts, sweatshirts and hoodies, hats, office accessories, drinkware and other fun items for adults and kids, men and women, boys and girls, babies, expectant moms and even something for the dog. You certainly won't regret giving these unique, custom holiday gift items this year-- and if your are my wife's second cousin, you feel sorry for me or you owe me money... you might even find something you like.

Read this. Peace.

The Twelve Days of Christmas Specials

2008-12-03T10:40:00.007-06:00

I haven't gone the way of Top 10 Lists of Whatever on this blog because I think it is way overdone. I don't know what makes those people who do post such lists an authority on the subject-- including even the "professional" critics who claim to be an authority so they can make a living from their lists of the best or worst, giving something a certain number of stars or a thumbs-up or or thumbs-down. I figure that I have been around for a pretty long time now, seen enough movies multiple times to make a fair judgement to give my opinion about them and have this blog as my vehicle to deliver my message. Besides, I couldn't think of anything else to write about.

Let me go over the ground rules. I only included Christmas movies and made-for-television programs in my list. Films that were set during the holidays but did not focus on Christmas were not included. This eliminated some decent flicks including Edward Scissorhands, Trading Places, Gremlins, Die Hard and Planes, Trains and Automobiles not to mention Home Alone, which was a huge hit but wouldn't be on my list anyway.

It is a shame that I am not going to include any Music or Variety Specials on my list either because the Saturday Night Live skit featuring Alec Baldwin as Pete Schweddy and his Holiday Schweddy Balls would be near the top. We'll have to save it for another list or two in the future.

Oh, and one more thing-- all of these specials have been on TV and are scheduled to be featured on TV this holiday season. If you would like details of when to catch your favorite Christmas Special, there is a pretty comprehensive list available on Wikipedia.

So without further ado, here is my list of the Top Twelve Christmas Specials:

12. Polar Express (2004)- Although the story's message is about how the wonder of life never fades for those who believe and the imagery of the train trip to the North Pole is remarkable, there were many parts of this film that reminded me of a nightmare-- dark and spooky. The computer generated animation techniques developed for this production are innovative, even by today's standards, and the way the digital characters movement and emotions are driven by real actors, mainly Tom Hanks, is pretty amazing in itself.

11. A Christmas Carol (1951)- Talk about Spooky? There are several dozen film adaptations of Charles Dickens' novel including everything from musicals to Muppets but the black-and-white English production with Alastair Sim playing Ebeneezer Scrooge is considered the definitive movie version. We pulled off a much smaller scaled translation for the CYC Christmas show in High School that wasn't too, too bad. I played Bob Cratchit and my sister was Tiny Tim because, if I remember correctly, she was on crutches at the time for a real injury. Brian Leriche beat me out of the part of Scrooge but he did a great job.

10. Scrooged (1988)- Based on the same story but different enough to earn it's own spot on the list. Bill Murray is Frank cross, the wealthy, cold-hearted TV executive Scrooge-like character in this modern-day edition. It delivers the same feel-good message, but the ghosts are not as scary as in the original and, although it's no Caddyshack, it's still pretty funny, so it settles one place higher on my list.

9. Santa Claus is Coming to Town (1970)- This is one of my earliest Christmas memories-- watching this claymation classic on our plaid vinyl couch in our new 70s add-on family room. This special was way before it's time as it took the format of a psychedelic, Behind the Music 25-years before VH-1... if Santa was in a band. Love the story... hate the song. Why do grown musicians still try to record this thing?

8. How the Grinch Stole Christmas (1966)- Were all the kids-film-makers from the 60s and 70s on dope? All of the fine Dr. Seuss' stuff seems that way. Boris Karloff as the narrator gives this show a tone that no other voice man could ever pull off. You want to do something crazy? Wait until the hottest day of the year and pop this DVD in. I bet you shiver before you reach the halfway mark.

What? What's that you say? Jim Carrey who? Message to all directors and producers in Hollywood. Stop trying to re-make Dr. Suess movies!

7. Miracle on 34th Street (1947, 1994)- Unlike with A Christmas Carol, I am going to list both versions of this film together because they are basically the same but they have some merit of their own. The original, starring Maureen O'Hara, Edmund Gwenn and Natalie Wood was awarded three Oscars and the latter, with Elizabeth Perkins, Richard Attenborrough and Mara Wilson was just as charming. Out of all the feel-goods on my list, this is the one that oozes the most Christmas cheer.

6. The Year Without A Santa Claus (1974)- The second Rankin/Bass production on my list could have just about a dozen other similar animated specials including Frosty the Snowman, Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer or a Very Brady Christmas except for four-words that put this one over the top... I'm Mister Heat Miser...

OK, It's been easy up to this point but, to tell you the truth, I am having a hard time with the top five as any one of them could have been number one. Who decided that I should do this, anyway?

5. A Charlie Brown Christmas (1965)- What can I really say about this holiday standard? If The Polar Express is on the top of the technical effects pile Charlie Brown Christmas would be buried deep on the bottom. The first Peanuts program to make it to TV was done on a shoestring budget which resulted in a primitive, choppy animation style, poor sound quality and editing blunders but it has aired, unchanged, annually, every year since and, more recently several times a year. The first airing was a critical and commercial hit with half of all the TVs in the nation tuned in and it was honored with both an Emmy and Peabody award. The season was not quite complete for me as a kid until we plopped down in front of the tube to watch the Dolly Madison sponsored classic with the smooth jazz composition of Vince Guaraldi and Linus' reading of the Gospel of Luke 2:8-14 exclaiming the true meaning of Christmas to the gang.

4. A Christmas Story (1983)- This film makes it to number one on a lot of the lists that I have seen but, maybe because of overexposure, can only top out at four on my list. The low-budget flick, set in 1940 in a fictional Indiana town, follows nine-year-old Ralphie Parker and his family on his quest for the one thing he wants for Christmas-- an official Red Ryder carbine-action 200-shot range model air rifle BB gun. Although it takes you back to a simpler time when Dad was "the Old Man", having your mouth washed out with soap and no red-blooded American Boy would turn down a Double-Dirty-Dog-Dare, it is really timeless in that I could relate to many of the characters and situations in the plot and multiple sub-plots. Overall a really fun and enjoyable way to spend 94-minutes during the holidays. I like to catch it as I help Santa assemble all the gifts during the 24-hour marathon on TNT.

3. It's A Wonderful Life (1946)- From a film set in the 40s to one that was made then. Frank Cappra's masterpiece based on the short story, The Greatest Gift, takes place in a fictional town called Bedford Falls shortly after WWII and features Jimmy Stewart as George Bailey, a man who is about to commit suicide when he is visited by his guardian angel, Clarence, shows him what the town, and all the people in it would be like without him. Feel-good, almost to the point of sappy, the film, because of production expense and competition at the box office, was originally considered a flop. It was nominated for five Academy Awards but won none, however it has been named as The American Film Institute's List of Top 100 movies at number 11 and AFI's List of Top 100 Inspirational Movies at number 1, as well as many other honors over the last 60-years. If you haven't seen any movies on the list, this is the one to rent this month.

2. Elf (2003)- I know! I didn't think that I could include this one but it cleared the ground rules. Then I thought I shouldn't include it because it was your traditional "classic" Christmas flick, but I think it is quickly becoming one. My wife and I happened to see this movie on opening night and, even with a broken nose that I got when she tried to pull a quick move and get her arm around me for some PDA and a sore neck because we arrived late and had to sit in the front row, we had the best time with this fun little film. Will Ferrell can make almost anything he does fun but his over-the-top, child-like, clumsy comedy is perfect for the part of Buddy-- the human raised by Santa's elves who travels from the North Pole, through the candy cane forest... to New York to find his Dad and gets into all kinds of hilarious mischief. All-in-all just good clean fun! Anyone that sincerely cannot say they had a good time watching this, must be a Cotton-Headed Ninny-Muggin!

1. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989)- Second best in the vacation series and this is no Caddyshack either, but still enough to pull off the top spot on my list. Chevy Chase, as Clark, and the rest of the Griswald clan hit way to close to home when they explore the best and worst part of the holiday season-- the family gathering. Although there are better feel-gooders on the list, bigger productions on the list and funnier scripts on the list, Christmas Vacation is a good mix of all of all of those things and everyone can relate with the situations that come up when we celebrate with loved ones.

That's my list of The Twelve Days of Christmas Specials. We'll have to review again next year because I'm sure it will change by then. In the mean time... Merry Christmas. Read this. Buy T-shirts. Peace.

Monday Morning Quarterback 1.12

2008-12-01T11:05:00.006-06:00

Cyber-Monday Morning Quarterback this week. I really don't know what all of the big hub-bub was about though. I haven't seen any increase in sales at SkeetzTeez at all! I'm still hoping that we will see some kind of sales increase before the holidays. If you think about it, the designs in my shop are going to appeal, mostly, to people that fall into a demographic as mine... impulse buyers that often wait until the last minute. So there is nothing to worry about yet.

I've been off for the last four-days in observance of Thanksgiving and I haven't posted anything in five- or six-days so I have a lot to get caught up on and only a half-hour left on my lunch so let's get to my notes from the weekend:

• Ever notice that the Jewish community usually observes holidays while most others celebrate holidays? It's like one big party when you're thirteen and then no more fun until you get married or die.

• Did you hear of the tragic story of the Wal-Mart employee that was trampled to death by 2,000 Black Friday shoppers? I don't blame the store because they did not do anything different than thousands of other retail outlets across the nation but what does that have to say about our society?

• I went shopping for a short time on Friday and it was enough to turn me off for the entire holiday season. Besides being, literally, run into by a rude, fat man in one of those electric carts and having some DVDs taken out of my cart, I don't think I saw even one act of Christmas spirit in the three stores I was at. I'm doing the rest of my shopping online.

• We've had our first snowfall of the year. It was just a dusting but I'm surprised we've made it through alive. I left 30-minutes early for work this morning and still arrived 30-minutes late. This is surprising as I thought everyone would be at the grocery stores stocking up on milk and bread like they were going to be trapped at home for a week, instead of on the highways freaking out on black ice in the middle of my path downtown.

• More than several years ago a roommate of mine took a loaf of bread from a woman's cart that was stocking up for a big storm. She had a cartload and we just wanted to make a sandwich.

• We may have a new family tradition for Thanksgiving. We avoided the stress of visiting both sides of the family and went to the Holiday Parade and followed it with a family movie matinee (we were the only three in the theater) and an afternoon nap. May be the best Thanksgiving we had since being married because there were no fights!

• We have another tradition on my side of the family that we have been doing for several years now. I don't know who's idea it was but I think it is brilliant. My dad, brother, brother-in-law and I meet in the morning the day or two after Thanksgiving and help each other string up our Christmas lights followed by a leftover feast at Mimi's.

• Although I like white lights on the house, this year we are going green. The new LED lights cost three-times as much but they supposedly use much less electricity. In addition, they are more durable, so we may be able to use them more than one year and they are about 10x as bright. The traditional white lights look like yellow next to them.

• Watch later this week for my Top Ten List of Holiday Movies. I don't know what makes me an authority of the subject but, honestly, what makes anyone else an expert either?

• I noticed on Yahoo that today is World AIDS Day. Remember when we new very little about AIDS and it was all over the news? Now that we have been convinced that it is not a real threat to the average American we rarely think about it but it is still killing millions of people in the third-world.

• Those of you that follow my blog know that I was planning on sharing my post, From the Bottom of My Heart, at a special Thanksgiving service at church. I wasn't sure how I felt about opening up in front of all of those people but I am glad I did and I hope others got as much out of hearing my story as I got out of sharing it.

• Our pastor printed and handed out copies of my blog post on Sunday so my secret may be out and members of NC3 may be regular readers now. If you are... Welcome. I will have to be sure to keep it clean.

• Weighed in today at 186!

• Happy Birthday Asher! Just in case she ever checks in on the blog. I doubt it though since she is a big-shot college student.

• The one year mark of my stroke came and went without much fanfare. I have tried to write about it several times but just can't find the time to gather all of my thoughts into something worthwhile. I will try to get something done on it this week but here is the story summed up in a quick note. Good news: Remarkable recovery of close to 100% and I am probably in the best shape in the last 20-years. Bad news: No one cares to hear that I had a major brain injury except insurance companies and since it has been a year, I promised MLW that I would stop using it as an excuse for my incompetence. I guess I will have to go back to blaming my incompetence on being a male.

• Although many are tired about hearing my story, I am still on a mission to tell everyone I can reach about the risks involved in chiropractic treatment. If you or a loved one put your well-being in the hands of a chiropractor, you must check out my Squidoo lens Sroke-Chiropractor.

Buy T-shirts. Peace.

From the Bottom of My Heart

2008-11-25T14:36:00.009-06:00

I am looking forward to the special sharing service at our church tonight. There will be two worship sets of four songs each, with an open mic opportunity for individuals to stand before the congregation and say what they are thankful for.

In past years, there would be little chance that I would even be there, much less, opening up publicly in front of all those people. Not because it is one of the biggest party nights of the year, because I haven't really partied in years, but because it would be an understatement to say that I don't feel comfortable speaking in front of large groups of people (although I am OK singing in front of crowds, but that story is for another day).

This year, however, I feel compelled to give praise where praise is do and try to pass on the understanding and enlightenment that I have learned from my experiences over the past year to anyone else who will listen. I see it going something like this:

I am thankful that I had a stroke. I know that may sound a little strange as I could be thankful for so many other things like that I have had such a remarkable recovery and, although it was hard, I am here and I can walk and talk and do most anything that I could do before. I could be thankful that I have such an wonderful wife and awesome son or that we are going to have another little miracle in February and we are all happy and healthy for the most part. I could be thankful that I have family and so many, many friends that love and care for us and a decent enough job in these tough economic times that we can have all that we need and most of what we want. I could be thankful, as well, for hundreds of other things as little as the ability to play RockBand and as big as the giant hugs from my best buddy in the whole world.

Don't get me wrong... I am so very thankful for all of these things, no matter how big or small, but if it wasn't for that short time last November that I was sure that I had lost so many of the things that we daily take for granted, I wouldn't be up here thanking God for all that he has given me. To be perfectly honest, I would be sitting out there half-listening to someone else share and partly thinking about why turkey makes you so sleepy or what tight-end to start on my fantasy football team tomorrow or where I am going to find a Wii before Christmas.

I know this because last year I had just as much, if not more, to be thankful for. As far as I knew, I was on top of the world and everything was going great until a minuscule little piece of plaque became lodged in a blood vessel in my brain. I discovered that everything I had learned about control in my life was wrong because, before that moment, I thought that I was in control. From that point on, however, I didn't matter how strong I was, how smart I was, how determined I was or even how lucky I was, I knew that I was in control of nothing.

Nothing I did made a difference of how quickly I was going to be able to do all those things I had been taking for granted for so long-- and I tried just about everything. Although we saw a little bit of progress with the rehabilitation almost every day, there were a few weeks of frustration before, with a broken spirit, I gave up on myself and gave it all to God.

What took me so long? Stubbornness, pride, ignorance... all of the things that I had thought made me tough and gave me good character. I don't know for sure but I suppose I liked myself pretty much before the event and, honestly, didn't know that I was going about a lot of things in the wrong way.

I know that God doesn't give us anything we cannot handle. I know that what doesn't kills us will make us stronger. I know that God loves us, wants the best for us and that we should give all of our problems to Him. I know, even though I do not totally understand how, His grace transcends all worldly things. It just took a massive brain injury for me to truly understand what all of this meant-- God is in control and the more we fight that fact or try to take control from Him, the harder and more painful it is going to be.

I would not wish what I went through an anyone else but I think it was the most sincere learning experience in my whole life and I am truly a better person for it as I have three new Ps-- new perspective, new priorities and new passion. I hope that you too can find your little stroke that helps you see what we should be thankful for.

Be Thankful. Read This. Buy T-shirts. Peace.

Designs We Like 1.03

2008-11-24T11:34:00.006-06:00

Uh-ohhh!

I am a little bit behind schedule for the November Designs We Like feature as, I think, we are supposed to publish on the third Wednesday of the month. It's not that I have been slacking that much because I actually started researching my current assignment a couple of weeks ago but the cafepress shop, Be Shirt Happy, has so many nice designs to choose from that I had a hard time narrowing down the one that I would write about.

After much thought and inner-debate, I decided to go with the shop Current Featured Product, the Terrible Thing to Waste T-shirt. Although, instead of a mind being a terrible thing to waste, this cute design plays on the words to remind the public that A Mime is a Terrible Thing to Waste! You just can't go wrong with mime humor... can you? And, believe it or not, there are more than several other mime designs.

A T-shirt or other available item with the imprinted mime designs would make a unique, custom gift for everyone on you list for the upcoming holidays. There is something for the young to the young at heart and gifts for your friends to man's best friend (including yourself). Design categories include Ninjas, Penguins, Careers, Sports and Human Beans as well as Holiday, Maternity, Kids and Adult sections and a Mommy and Me Collection of matching garment for Baby and Mama!

Be sure to visit the Be Shirt Happy for your holiday shopping this year as the Website declares: If you can't find a design you like here, you won't find it anywhere... and who am I to argue?

Buy Shirts. Be Happy. Be Shirt Happy.

This blog is part of a crossover blog. Other Participants in this crossover blog are:

http://ateasetees.wordpress.com/

http://getyergoat-goatgifts.blogspot.com

http://www.nanwrightart.com

http://randomshirts.blogspot.com/

http://skeetzteez.blogspot.com/

http://idesignbrian.wordpress.com/

http://www.shopkeeperdesigns.com

http://autismshowucare.blogspot.com

http://www.gocamelphotos.blogspot.com/

http://einselgaenger.blogspot.com/

http://beflip.blogspot.com/

Read this. Buy T-shirts. Peace.

The Great American Smoke-Out

2008-11-20T15:30:00.005-06:00

Today is the American Lung Association's annual Great American Smoke-out. When I was a teenager, a smoke-out was something completely different... but that's another story.

I don't have too much to say on this subject that I haven't already written in my post: How to Quit Smoking Overnight, but because last year I almost considered participating in the well-meaning event and just couldn't bring myself to do it, I thought that it was worth a few minutes of my lunch hour to put together a few paragraphs.

I was a real idiot in that I didn't start smoking until I was 25-years old. It was just a game to me and the stupid carny tricks I did turned into a pack-a-day habit for 16 or 17 years. In those years, I tried more than several times and methods to quit, but never lasted any more than two to three weeks. One of my more successful attempts, however, was the Great American Smoke-out of 1998. The reason I had some success that year was not only that I had peer support, but the peers participating with me where mainly women-- there is that part of a guy that wants to impress the chicks and an even bigger part that doesn't want to be beat by one.

Most of my more successful attempts at smoking cessation involved women. My wife doesn't smoke and when we met I, first, tried to not light up around her. On our first date, I searched, unsuccessfully for a place to sneak off and get one in. Later, I told her I would quit but, after about six-hours with me and my mood swings she searched through all of my stuff until she found a stale pack and made me made me give up quitting that day.

Yes, I know it is hard because I have been there and I am not the kind of person that is going to preach about it or condemn you for killing yourself but I will say this-- you should quit and even more important, if you don't smoke don't start.

The American Lung Association says if you can not smoke for one day-- you should be able to not smoke for one week and if you can make it a week-- a month should be a breeze and so on. I don't agree because I haven't had a cigarette in 357 days and I still want one. There are lots of plans and information and groups out there to help you kick the habit but, for any of them to be successful, it all boils down to you not wanting to die prematurely more than you want that one cigarette. That is the basis of my theory on How to Quit Smoking Overnight.

Sure, I had a extraordinary circumstance that scared the living stuff out of me but if you can keep that one thought in your head every single time that you want to light up I think it can work for you too.

Read this. Buy T-shirts. Peace.

Monday Morning Quarterback 1.11

2008-11-18T12:09:00.013-06:00

I really should change the name of this weekly post to Tuesday Morning Quarterback or something because I think it has been a month since I published on a Monday. I don't know if it is that I am too busy because of the time of year and all of the stuff that's been going on or if it is that I am getting a little bored and I haven't made it a priority to write when I do have the time.

Spare time is always hard to find around the holidays but this year I'm going to take advantage of the technology and use the internet to handle most of my shopping chores. From the looks of the reports on my Website, many other smart consumers are doing the same.

Top Five keywords that resulted in visits to SkeetzTeez or SkeetzTeez blog:

5. land of the lost

4. stroke-chiropractor

3. suck for a buck

2. trivia

1. schweddy balls

Top five designs sold at SkeetzTeez:

5. Smallville Athletic Department

4. Suck It Trebeck

3. Charlestown Chiefs/Slapshot

2. I'm Cute

1. Big Brother/Big Sister

I have neglected the shop lately, hardly adding any new designs yet I have quite a few concepts started that I need to knock out before Thanksgiving so I can be included in the Holiday gift-giving rush. It is encouraging to see some interest in designs other than the political and baby stuff though. Many of my ideas are a little obscure but I am banking on there being enough interested customers out there, if I can just get the exposure on the shop so they can see what I have to offer.

If you know any of these, so-called, interested customers, forward this blog or tell them about my WebShop or, even better, just buy the gift and give it to them for Christmas! Here's the notes from the weekend:

• When I first opened the shop, I thought that most of my business would be from customers that requested custom designs for one or a few T-shirts but it was awfully easy to just throw a design up on the site and see who would buy it. I did, however, complete my first special order last week for a friend of MLW who is participating in a Walk for Breast Cancer. If you need a special event design-- just drop me a line.

• I'm a poet and don't know it.

• Christmas shopping for M3S has been made very simple this year as he has so eloquently informed me that all he wants is... everything-- every toy he sees on TV, in catalogs, at the mall and in some other kid's dirty little mitts.

• Is it normal for three-year-olds to know the word humungous and use it correctly in a sentence?

• Trivia is still a top keyword that is driving visitors to my Websites. I'm not sure why because I rarely write about trivia, but we have taken home two-firsts and one-second in the last three Trivia Nights we have competed in.

• My 20-year-old nephew's 19-year-old girlfriend said she has cleared upwards of $850 a day waiting tables at Hooters. You have to come up with your own punch line for this because there are just too many ways I can get myself in trouble with this one.

• Just for kicks, I was helping my fourth-grade niece with her Geography homework on Sunday. The first question was, "What is the capital of Washington, D.C.?" Who is checking the teacher's work?

• Unless your going to plan on making a career out of the military or as a travel agent, Geography is pretty much useless-- made that way by easy access to MapQuest and portable GPS units.

• If the feds are going to bailout the big-three automakers now, what's next? You can come up with your own punch line here too. I didn't mean it to be a joke... but it is.

• I can't imagine how one gets poison ivy this late in the year after more than one hard frost when all of the plants should be dead but, somehow, I managed to get a doozy of a batch. Pray that it doesn't get in my nook and crannies.

• It is going to be a tight race and come right down to the wire to determine if the Rams or our Fantasy Football team sucks more this year.

• My 22-year-old niece was finally convinced that I may "have something" with my theory that the stroke was caused by chiropractic treatment after seeing a video of a woman in Canada that had a similar story. Now that I have most (but not yet all) of the family on the bandwagon, I'm coming after you! Read my story, It Only Seems Fair, and then visit my Squidoo page, Stroke-Chiropractors to see all of the evidence for yourself!

• If you have a cause or even just an interest that you would like to get the word out about, Squidoo is an excellent, easy, free vehicle to do so.

• I'm sure glad Mimi is alright. Yes-- for her sake, but also Nanu's. He's a tough guy but I don't think he would get along very well without her.

• Can't say it enough... tell the people you love, that you love them... now!

No... I really mean it! Stop reading this blog and and call your Mom, Dad, Grandparents, Brother, Sister or anybody else that you care about, and tell them how you feel; step away from the computer and give your Wife, Husband, Girl or Boyfriend a kiss; find your kids and give them a big hug and then spend a few moments playing or talking with them because a time will come when you won't be able to do these things-- and I don't want you to blame me that you didn't take the time when you had the chance...

Then come back here and Read this. Buy T-shirts. Peace.

15-Minutes of Fame

2008-11-13T11:36:00.005-06:00

In Entertainment News from Reality TV World:

Paula Goodspeed, a 30-year-old former American Idol auditioneer and Paula Abdul fan, was found dead in her car nearby the Entertainer's house on Tuesday evening. According to the LAPD, the death was an apparent suicide caused by a drug overdose.

Goodspeed had been featured during one of American Idol's fifth-season tryout shows. Her audition was expanded into a featurette that ran nearly four minutes and portrayed her obsession with Abdul during an interview with host Ryan Seacrest.

Forget, for a moment, of how producers of the show went about exploiting this poor, obviously mentally ill (or, at the very least, unstable) young lady and thousands of other individuals, and tell me how, even if they are somewhat deranged or delusional, these kids with absolutely no vocal talent, either believe that they will not humiliate themselves or realize it and allow it to happen for a few moments in the national spotlight?

There are three types of people that try out for a show like this. Some have real talent and they usually know it. If they are lucky enough and things go their way, these are the ones featured, prominantly, in the final 20 or so. For every one of those 20, however, I bet there are 20 more with just as much talent that didn't audition or did and didn't make it that far for one reason or another.

The next group of makes up probably 90% of the individuals that audition. They are people like me 20-years ago. Some have training or experience singing in a band or in the choir at church. Others have fantastic voices but are lacking the training or experience. Generally, though, they all have some talent, can find a key and have enough balls to get out there and try.

Although, I'm sure, this is the biggest group, I'm sure you see less of these people on TV than any of the others because they are, frankly, the least interesting to watch. You may see a few of them if they happen to have a gimmick, a personality or the right look and some will even get a ticket to Hollywood but, for the most part, the kids you're going to see on TV are the ones from the first group and the last one.

The auditioneers in the last group may have a gimmick or an interesting personality or look, in fact, many of them excel in these areas but they are missing a valuable trait that would prevent them from becoming your next American Idol... talent. I still think a few of them realize that they have no reason being there and just hope to be eccentric enough to have their 15-minutes of fame but so many of them seem so sincere that they would have to be the best actors in the world to play the part of a pathetic loony through the entire show.

There is no doubt that the producers of the show have some part in making the viewer see (and therefore believe) whatever they want them to just by, simply, editing out whatever they want but, like everything else in today's society, we want the drama and the tragedy. Similarly to the way we all slow down and try to get a glimpse of the automobile accident on the other side of the highway, the average American would rather watch the freaks trying to sing in the auditions the first few weeks of the series than see the final seven contestants' interpretations of Barry Manilow tunes from the decade that they were born.

I guess the formula works, though, because so many people are glued to the tube for all of the Reality Shows that fill up the prime time airwaves. The viewers get what they want, the makers of the shows are making money and the contestants... well what about the contestants? The winners have to appreciate all the hard work they put in as championship money on these shows start in the six-digit range and most are paying seven-digits to, at least, the champions of a season-long contest.

I don't here many complaints about the way losers were treated, either because, most of the time, they get what they are looking for too-- their 15-minutes. Some, like William Hung, in exchange for a little national humiliation get a bit more time and some can drag enough out of it to make a few bucks. There are some members of the early Real World episodes that have been cashing in on Reunion Shows and Follow-up Challenges for more than 15-years.

Maybe we can blame the whole politically-correct, everybody-gets-a-trophy, sense-of-entitlement, society that Paula Goodspeed was never told that she didn't have what it takes to be the next American Idol-- or maybe she knew and that really wasn't her goal. A posting on her MySpace page yesterday stated, "Rest in peace, the world knows your name."

That's a pretty big price to pay for your 15-minutes of fame...

Read this. Buy T-shirts. Peace.

Who's the fat guy talking to Mark?

2008-11-11T12:47:00.010-06:00

A good friend posted some pictures of our visit to the pumpkin patch on Facebook. I was going through them looking for shots of my Son in the vast sea of children (most of them hers), not recognizing anyone until I caught a glimpse of her husband in the crowd. My first thought was, "Who's the fat guy talking to Mark?" but on closer inspection I realized it was me... I thought he looked familiar!

I made the mistake of standing, nakee, in front of the mirror on Friday. At home I know where the full-lengths are strategically located and I make it a habit not to get caught in front of one, but we stayed in a hotel this weekend and I wasn't paying attention. I woke up from an afternoon nap and dropped my clothes on the floor before darting into the bathroom for a shower and spun right into a full-frontal. I think it would be safe for me to say that you can ask anyone that knows me and they would say I am anything but vane, however, this was not a pretty sight.

What I saw made me disgusted to think that, not a year earlier, I stood in front of a mirror looking at a body that was mostly crippled on one side, promising myself that, if I regained my strength and coordination, I was not going to fall back into the bad habits that allowed me to get out of shape. I, honestly, don't know what happened. Although, I haven't been a fitness fanatic, I am still eating ten times better than I was before the stroke and working out more often also, yet I have gained more weight in the last 12 months than I have in any period in my life.

I have cut the salt, the fat, and the carbs and, as a result (and with the added help of some really good meds) I have brought down my blood-pressure and my cholesterol to acceptable levels but even with the additional exercise, I am still not losing-- and sometimes even gaining, pounds. My first thought was that the medications could be contributing to my difficulties, but nothing I have read would lead me to believe that any of them would cause a problem.

I tried to blame some of the weight on sympathy gain because my wife is pregnant with our second child. I could believe that was the problem until my sympathy gain exceeded her actual weight gain and M3S exclaimed that Dada was going to have a big baby when he understood that Mama's belly was getting big because it had a baby growing in it.

I know that some people pack on the poundage when they quit smoking but I would have a very hard time using this as an excuse considering I quit overnight with the only ill-effect being that I was tired all of the time. I continued to lose weight for the first three or four months afterward so I don't think the delayed nicotine withdrawal argument is going to fly.

My wife tends to think that it is all because of my age. 43 is not what I would consider old now, though, 25-30 years ago I certainly would. If I can't use my lost youth as a legitimate explanation for the stroke-- I can't use it for a good reason to be lazy and out of shape either.

During my rehabilitation, I fell into some excellent habits. I took my diet and exercise to the extreme-- partly because I was scared to death of dying, but mostly because I wanted to be sure to get a good head-start because it would be hard to keep up that pace and not start slacking. That slacking, however, came back way too quickly once I got back to a semi-normal routine. I went from being bored and looking for things to do with all of the free time I had to being worn-out all the time when I went back to work. In addition, sitting at a desk all day isn't very healthy either-- at least with my nicotine habit, I would get up to go to the smoking area four times a day.

I have always enjoyed working out earlier rather than later and, from what I've heard, this is much better for burning calories. I find it extremely hard to get myself motivated to go to the gym after work-- or even worse, after dinner. There is a group of people at work though that actually workout before they come in but I could just never see myself getting up before the Sun, dragging my butt out of bed, into the car and up to the YMCA, when I could do something much more sensible and enjoyable, like... sleep!

This was before the incident with the mirror, though, and my knee-jerk, paranoia, hypochondriac reaction to get up early the next morning, drag my sorry butt out of bed, down the stairs (instead of the elevator) and into the hotel "fitness center"-- two treadmills and a stationary bike. They weren't the best facilities but I got in an almost 50-minute session before MLW and M3S came down looking for breakfast and the other key to the room.

Later in the afternoon, I commented how it felt good-- mentally and, surprisingly, physically-- to get up and get in that workout early in the morning... and while on vacation to boot. My wife suggested that I should try it when we get home, and reminded me that I usually get up to load our Son in the car for her at 5:30 anyway. I never thought of it like that.

So, this morning, I gave it a shot. MLW, gently, woke me at 5:30 so I could carry 38 pounds of dead weight 50-feet to the garage and load M3S into his car seat and then I dragged my sorry butt into the car and to the Y. I got in a 5-minute warm-up and stretch, 18-minutes on the treadmill, a quick upper-body circuit and 16-minutes on the elliptical machine. I still had time to take a nice hot shower and stop back by the house to pick up a few things that I forgot before I was off to work.

I don't know how I will hold up the rest of the day. It is only lunch time now but I am already feeling a little tired. I hope that I will soon pick up a second wind, though, because I am committed to giving this a shot, at least, through the end of the week. I'm sure it will get easier if I get used to it.

Besides, I weighed in while I was at the YMCA and I'm a little embarrassed to say that I tipped the scales at 191. I'm embarrassed but still willing to post my weight here as well as my goal of 182 by December 31 and 175 by February 19 to better hold myself accountable. There is not a lot of people that are reading this blog but, probably, enough to get on my case if I start slacking again.

I will give periodic updates on my progress in the upcoming weeks. Until then... Read This. Buy T-shirts. Peace.

Monday Morning Quarterback 1.10

2008-11-10T11:20:00.010-06:00

It seems like it has been weeks since I have written anything. I have a friend at work that always takes a post-vacation vacation day. It seems silly to waste an extra day off when you just had all of that time to relax but, whether it's due to me getting old or M3S being a handful to travel with, I could use an extra day to recover from the trip. It was only a three-day weekend, but I have a bunch of notes to write about so I am going to skip the Top Fives for now and get on with it while it is all fresh in my head.

• Used to be that when a young person went away to college they were gone until Christmas break unless they ran out of money and hitched a ride home for the weekend to get more. We went to Indiana to visit my sister-in-law for her school's family weekend and there was more family on campus than students because everyone went home. We were lucky she knew we were coming or she would've probably taking the five-and-a-half-hour drive home for the fifth time this semester and we would miss her.

• If the government is looking for a model of how to get dug out of this financial crisis they should look to the Colleges and Universities as it seems the several that I am aware of are in a financial boom with expansion and improvements running rampant.

• If you call someone from Indiana a Hoosier, do they consider it a complement.

• Indiana is proud of John Cougar Mellencamp. I heard more of his music in the last three days than I heard in the three biggest years of his popularity. I like his stuff as much as anyone but see no need for, WJCM: All Cougar-- All the Time.

• I have never worked in a fine eating establishment such as T.G.I.Friday's but I just can't understand how it can be that hard to split up a check, no matter how many people are on it, as long as you have already added in 15% gratuity.

• It's official-- M3S is my best friend now. We became blood brothers on our trip and he gave me some weird kind of brain meld.

• I will write in more depth on this in the next few months but I have a real concern that I have grown so attached my three-year old Son that it will be hard to not favorite him when the baby comes.

• Visited a church in Kokomo, Indiana on Sunday that was very cool. In addition to having a super amazing building and the most elaborate production of children's church that I could ever imagine, they were in the middle of a series based on The Beatles, of all things. I wish I could have heard more because everything that I ever heard says The Fab Four and God didn't cross paths very much.

• Did I mention, after starting 1-5 and then winning three in a row that our fantasy football team may be able to end up with a respectable season this year? If I did... I was wrong.

• After averaging almost 50 mpg in the Prius since we bought it, we got barely over 40 mpg on the trip, partly because of our speed, the weather, and having three passengers and their luggage for three-days packed in the space but mainly because MLW was in charge of the climate control and we would constantly be switching from heat to air-conditioning.

• Be sure to check SkeetzTeez often in the coming weeks because I have a ton of new design ideas that I will be adding in an attempt to get as many holiday gift sales as possible.

• Did you know: you have 30,000 individual thoughts in your head every day?

• Wall-E is a good movie with several interesting messages and an artsy essence that reminds me a bit of the Disney masterpiece Fantasia. Not really a kids' film, though, in my opinion.

• I have a theory that Cracker Barrel Restaurants, no matter how busy they are, always have at least a 20-minute wait for a table so you are stuck roaming around that silly craft store until you break-down and buy the $4.89 worth of stuff, just to distract the children (or wife) long enough to stop whining about how hungry they are.

• I am very proud of the attention that my Squidoo lens about Awareness of the Risk of Strokes with Chiropractors is getting. I am getting more and more hits every week as the word is being spread about the dangers of chiropractic neck procedures. If you have a loved one or a friend that is being treated by a chiropractor, make sure they see this before they are seriously injured!

I thought that I had a lot more than this to right but I am running out of time and can't think of anything else appropriate to write (I am trying to clean up my act). I hope to have something every day this week though and will certainly include anything I forgot in an upcoming article. Until then... Read this. Buy T-shirts. Peace.

Where is the complaint department?

2008-11-04T13:03:00.011-06:00

Just a quick follow-up to yesterday's post... Yes-- I voted.

After almost two-years of hype and an hour-and-a-half of waiting in line before the sun came up, the election is over for me except for the hours and hours of exit polls and reports on results as the votes are counted. I don't know what the next four years have in store but I thought today was, kind of, a let-down. The republicans didn't capture Osama Bin Laden at the last minute and there were little conflict between either candidate by anyone but the opposing party's leaders-- and those were not even as bad as a couple of kids on the playground, calling each other names. Although, when this is all over we are going to have our country's first African-American President or Woman Vice-President, at the end of the day, I think this is going to look like an ordinary election, albeit one with a really, really big turnout.

I arrived at my polling place at 5:35 A.M. and found the top parking lot full. I still move pretty quick for an old guy but I lost a few places in line because I was unfamiliar with the shortcut between the buildings at the Catholic Church and went around the long way. I was number 79, as I found out later, but by the mass of voters started moving at 6:03, there had to be 300-350 people waiting because the line was longer than it gets for the Fish-Fry on Good Friday-- and they weren't even going to feed us.

I was expecting the process to take some time so I brought a book to read. I don't know if it was because I was not really that interested in the material so I was looking for reasons to stop reading and talk to people, that everyone else was jealous that I thought of bringing a book and they didn't so, in spite, they wanted to rudely interrupt me or a combination of the two things but I made little progress. The line, on the other hand, moved along through the serpentine path, made from arrows drawn on copy-paper with a Sharpee and masking-taped to the floor, at a surprisingly nice pace. In fact, I spent more time in line waiting for the polls to open than I did getting to the first election official-- that's were we grind to a complete stop.

The line, that was pretty unstable to begin with, collapsed when it reached the bank of four folding tables. Confusion set in with the voters-- most of which were more mature than I and had to have been through this a time or two before, and the officials-- who, I would be willing to bet, were even more mature than the voters, but acted as if it was their first time through an election, much less working at one.

I understand the reasons we need to have all of the checks and balances to keep everything on the up-and-up but I can't, for the life of me, figure out why they can't find a more efficient way to do it than with a handful of octogenarians, a couple of poli-sci majors and a part-time librarian to supervise them all.

There were four stations set up a labeled on the front of the table with the same Sharpee-written, masking-taped, copy-paper that they used on the floor, so there were many individuals that waited in line, only to find out it was the wrong one when they got to the front. Each station had an official that had to sign-off on something and then handover the form to an official at another station to sign-off on it. I assumed that this was because it was early and they weren't fully staffed yet but, I would think, that early in the morning and late in the day would be the busiest times so they would have the most help at that time.

When I finally made it to the third station, I was delayed again as the official that was confirming my status had to wait for "the Republican"-- like there is only one in the building-- to get out of the bathroom. The polls have been open for 23-minutes and this guy has already got to take a leak? We are in for a long day!

If you read this blog yesterday you would know that, going into this election, I was concerned with the average citizen's ability to choose our next leaders. After my experience today, I was even more disturbed by the idea that the governing bodies declaring the winners after we Americans exercise our right to choose. I find it impossible to believe that we can count on getting everything even close to right after witnessing the disorganization and incompetence from the officials at my polling place.

There was no one person in charge, as far as I can tell. There was a woman that was walking around aimlessly with a manual of some kind, though I don't think she was doing any good as the many people I saw asking questions were directed in several different directions with little or no, reasoning. I saw officials that were having trouble seeing, hearing and just plain understanding what was going on around them.

A good example of this was the two types of ballot-- one, a paper ballot that the voter marked their choices and then run it through a optical scanner that tallied the votes-- the other a touchscreen computer that printed out a paper receipt that was placed in the ballot box. For some reason, the officials had a hard time understanding this simple concept, or even being able to determine the difference between the two. The old guy that was actually handing out the ballots must have worked part-time at Schnucks bagging groceries because he kept asking voters if they wanted paper or plastic.

Technology is a great and powerful thing! So why are we filling in little ovals on a ballot with a number-two pencil? If Americans are not smart enough to follow instructions and remove all of the hanging chad from the back of their ballots-- the vote doesn't count... easy!

I jest but, in all seriousness, let's find a way to make this process easy, efficient and effective. If we have to throw some dollars at the election process we can use a percentage of the billions of dollars spent on all of the candidates campaigns across the U.S. to hire qualified, nonpartisan officials, purchase equipment, technology and training and communicate how it all works to the voters.

As I finish my article late on election day, John McCain is giving his concession speech. I am somewhat disappointed-- not because the man I voted for did not win, but because it wasn't really much of a race. Not even 30 of the 50-States have reported any results. I sincerely hope Obama can turn this country around but he has his work cut out for him.

I did my civic duty, woke up early to wait in a long line and deal with a much less than ideal situation to place my vote for President of the United States. You would still have a extremely difficult time trying to convince me that my vote mattered, but I will be happy to listen to your argument and I will leave it at that for now because I'm tired and I have to load some new designs to the SkeetzTeez cafepress shop... now that the election is over, shoppers will be looking for unique, custom Holiday Gifts!

Read this. Buy T-shirts. Peace.

What is a bellwether state?

2008-11-03T11:36:00.011-06:00

I live in Missouri, which is often referred to as a bellwether state, when talking about national politics. I have never lived anywhere else so this might be another example of, what I like to call, Soccertown, USA Syndrome but, whether it is or not I have always been interested in what it means and where it came from.

Although I tested as a gifted child, I am probably not as smart as I think I am but, although I am an artist, I am, by no means, a moron and I try to keep up with the important issues and educate myself about the things that impact my family. The Internet is a valuable tool to gather information on just about anything and something such as Geography, which is not one of my stronger subjects, I have no problem tracking down maps, guides and important details about any place that we would travel. Politics, however, a subject of much greater consequence that I have some clue about but lack a in depth understanding, is a much more complicated topic to research on the Web because most of the information available to the general public is biased.

It scares me a little bit that, in a democracy, they leave the decisions about who is going to run the country, make and interpret the laws, set the budgets and address foreign policy to one of the least qualified people to make them... me. Yes, me and you and all those other people that don't know what a bellwether state is-- all the individuals that don't understand how the electoral college works that have difficulties understanding the ballot or even the simple instructions on how to vote so we don't have a problem with hanging chad.

There are voters that will go to the polls tomorrow believing that Barack Obama is a Muslim or that John McCain used the C-word to describe his wife in a 1992 interview-- not that either one of these things would make a difference of how they would perform as president but it may influence the way some people will choose. Citizens will cast votes for their leader for the next four years based not on what they know about any of the important issues facing our country today, but on what they were told in 30-second partisan TV ads squeezed in-between staged segments of The Hills or from a friend of a friend of a friend who has so much charisma and sounds so smart that they must know what they are talking about. Some will vote for a particular candidate because they think it is the cool thing to do; some to make a statement that they don't like what is going on; some directly along party lines; and some for the lessor of two evils.

No matter how you choose which candidate you will vote for-- whether you study each one and seek out a poli-sci major to interpret the results or flip a coin-- you have the right, in this great country, to be heard. I would encourage every person in the U.S. that is eligible, to take advantage of that right, but I would also ask that you don't take that right for granted and make a educated choice, to the best of your ability.

I have tried very hard to keep this article as non-partisan as possible as to not influence any readers' opinion but it is difficult to find other sources of information that are not supportive of one side or the other. Here are a few sites on the Web that may be helpful in your quest for the truth:

Smart Voter by the League of Women Voters- provides nonpartisan election information including a preview of your ballot for unique district on November 4.

By the People Election Glossary- a glossary of election terms.

Public Agenda for Citizens- the smart voters' guide to what the politicians won't tell you featuring the Voters' Survival Kit.

Wednesday morning, when we get up, the country is going to look a little different than it has for the last 18-months or so. Besides having recycled all of the political signs in the front yards of all our neighbors and the TV and Radio waves being opened to regular stupid ads instead of political stupid ads, we are going to know, generally, what directions we are going to take to try to get us out of the challenges we are facing as a world power for the next four years. No matter who wins, I hope it is a good direction.

After much studying, I have made my choice and will cast my vote for that candidate tomorrow and then sit back and hope for the best-- not that my choice will win, but that whomever does can make a difference and we can all prosper from our decision in the future.

Vote Smart. Read This. Buy T-shirts. Peace.

Sorry... if you found this page looking for the definition of a bellwhether state, here is the definition from Wikipedia : A bellwether is any entity in a given arena that serves to create of influence trends or to presage future happenings. The term is derived from Middle English bellewether and refers to the practice of placing a bell around the neck of a castrated ram (a wether) leading its flock of sheep. The movements of the flock could be perceived by hearing the bell before the flock was in sight.

Let's Roll! 1.07

2008-10-31T07:43:00.007-05:00

Cafepress revealed the new Website design this week. I was concerned, at first, that the navigation was misdirected because I didn't make a sale for the first two days after the change but then my old standby, Big Brother '09, came through for me last night. Americans must not be too worried about the economy because they are still having babies and there is a lot of maternity and children's stuff that sells on that Site. I would assume that now since Halloween and the election are over the Big Brother and Big Sister along with a few of my designs for expectant mothers will be my top sellers until the holiday season.

Speaking of the holiday season, I guess all of the stores now start pushing Christmas sales in October. They might as well include Halloween with Thanksgiving in the holidays.

This is my first year being involved as a Internet retailer but, from what I gather from more experienced shopkeepers, it is not uncommon to have sales from November 15 to December 31 that equal all the sales from the rest of the year so I'll be ready. Be sure to keep SkeetzTeez in mind when you are looking over your gift giving lists and check back often to see all of the new designs for the Winter! Let's Roll.

Michael Jackson- Thriller

Yes-- he's a freak but this 13:41 video was the most anticipated release in the history of MTV and is still regarded as one of the best even though it was premiered over 25 years ago. Sure-- it's a little hokey for today's times. The outfits are dated, the acting is overdone, the special effects are antique and even the dance moves, considered cutting-edge in 1982, are punchlines for modern, comments on pop-culture but, back then, even though most people won't admit it, MJ and this video in particular, was the coolest thing around-- right Cox?

64-Voice A' Cappella Thriller

This is too cool and perfect for Halloween. One dude, self-recorded on 64 different tracks. He does all the vocals as well as the instruments and special effects with no assistance from any tools or devices. The guy is a little freaky (I think he's French) with his accent and there is an eerie picture of Michael Jackson in a werewolf getup from his 80s hit video, but this is just too freaking cool to pass up this time of year.

Filipino Prison Thriller Remake

That last one reminded me of this video which has gotten a lot of YouTube hits and been featured on a bunch of nationally syndicated entertainment shows. Again-- kind of freaky but, still, something about it makes you have a hard time not watching it all the way through. Go ahead... try it... See? I guess if you have to be in prison there would be a lot worse ways to spend your time than dancing to 80s hits but the orange jumpsuits look like they would make it hard to get your groove on.

Thriller- Wikipedia

Did you know?

• Thriller was ranked number 20 in Rolling Stone Magazine's list of Top 500 Albums of All-Time in 2003

• Several members of the band Toto were involved in the recording and production of the album

• Thriller was released and immediately went to number one on both the US and UK charts-- the first album to do that

• MTV played the almost 14-minute video twice an hour everyday for several weeks after the release to keep up with demand

Happy Halloweenie. Read This. Buy T-shirts. Peace.

What did the Headless Horseman say to Frankenstein?

2008-10-29T12:09:00.011-05:00

I guess I was probably like most kids when I say Halloween was one of my favorite holidays-- and why wouldn't it be? You get to dress up in cool costumes, get a bunch of candy, you don't have to visit relatives house that smell funny (the houses, not the relatives) or church and you are, basically, expected to run all over the neighborhood causing havoc. Times, certainly, have changed in the last 30-some-odd years since I last went trick-or-treating. Gone are the days of dads taking the kids in their homemade outfits door-to-door, where they would be asked to tell a joke or sing a song by the friendly neighbor before receiving a generous reward of sweets while the moms waited at home and handed out candy to all the other children coming to their house.

Changes in the social environment and the society's decline in common values make some of the differences between 2008 and, say, 1979 obvious but I don't think they should make that much of a impact on our decision to deprive our children of the fun, Halloween traditions we enjoyed as kids. I still, to this day, have many fond memories of the Autumn holiday from my childhood but it seems that, as I have grown up, Halloween has become more of a matter for adults to be concerned with all of the rules and restrictions put on everyone.

Having a paranoid, over-anxious, very protective parent we had rules that we had to follow went we went out but nothing like they have today. We were told that we could only visit houses of the neighbors my folks knew so there were maybe two or three houses per block that we had to skip. This was to prevent us from walking up to a situation with a kid-napper or other predator that would hurt us, though I really didn't understand the point because my Dad was waiting for us at the street and wouldn't let us get into any trouble.

Today, communities are passing legislation that requires registered sexual offenders to leave off all the outside lights and post signs stating that there is no candy here. I support this initiative, although I don't believe that there is that many more perverts living in today's society than there was in our day, only that we are more aware of them because of the media and the noble efforts of law enforcement. I still think that my mother's rule about knowing your neighbors, however, is a good one but that could be difficult to do now because parents, in most neighborhoods don't know nearly as many people as ours did.

Parent's are not involved as much, altogether, as they used to be. Mine made all of our costumes every year until we were old enough to make our own. Made is the key word here. Kmart had a few cheap costumes (mainly a hard plastic mask with a elastic string and an apron-like thing that tied in the back) but there were not Halloween dedicated stores that popped-up in vacant strip mall spaces the week after Labor Day.

There were no fancy, expensive, store-bought, fire-resistant, safety-tested outfits for us-- or most of the other kids at that time either. One of the earliest of years I can remember, I was a Christmas tree and my siblings were presents. Another Halloween I was Oscar the Grouch-- made from an old green rug and a plastic trash can with the bottom cut out. I did a couple of years as a headless horseman and a few others as an old stand-by: vampire, mummy, clown, ghost or hobo-- complete with burnt cork beard.

They were not the best disguises but we had fun and learned a lot by building them with our folks. They weren't fire-proof, in fact, many of them were fire hazards and they were not engineered while keeping in mind that we would be traveling from house-to-house on dark streets so I'm surprised that there weren't more serious accidents as we often couldn't either walk or see well. Bad weather meant that we wore turtlenecks and long-johns underneath the costume or clear plastic bags on top of them which really made my brother mad one year because everyone thought he was a cat when they couldn't see his bat wings.

We started making our own costumes by the time we were 11-12 or so. Most of those were things that we thought were cool which, apparently, was Saturday Night Live at the time because I remember dressing as a wild and crazy guy, King Tut and the Blues Brothers. One of our neatest, though was the Conehead outfits we made by cutting a Nerf football in half and putting it over our head with leg of my Mom's nylons. We went out to Trick-or-Treat-- or at least said we were doing that when we were actually out starting trouble-- every year until we were old enough to drive and went to work in the neighborhood Haunted House. We had at least one parent with us until we were 13. That was the age when you were allowed to go it alone but there were still enough adults that we knew on the streets that we couldn't really get away with that much.

There are municipalities in our area that are limiting Trick-or-Treating to children of certain ages and between certain hours. Honestly, I'm not sure how I feel about these restrictions. On one hand, I have answered the door at a time that I thought was a little late even for Halloween to a masked bunch of juveniles six-inches taller and 100-pounds heavier than me silently holding their bag out and thought that scene eerily reminded me of a bank hold-up and wondering if they did say anything if the voice would be more baritone than mine and they would be saying Trick-or-Treat or Stick 'em up. Either way I'm handing over enough candy to surely satisfy the young lady and getting the deadbolt back engaged as quickly as possible.

On the other hand, I think the age that they did set (12 I think in this case) was a little young and really leaves nothing for the younger teens to do but sneak out of the house after 9:00, soap our car windows, tepee our trees and hurl the jack-o-lantern that we worked so hard on into the street. Besides, how are the cops going to enforce this policy anyway? Do the children need to bring two forms of identification and pass-through barricaded roadblocks strategically placed in front of the houses handing out mini-Snickers bars? I would think that the boys in blue would have something better to do and I think we are missing an opportunity to encourage parents to get more involved with their kids' activities instead of just letting the man deal with it.

As an adult and an artist, I got into Halloween for a while. In college I made a great costume for me and G-money that we took on the contest circuit and won some prizes. We were each a giant roll of toilet paper and we had a big air-brushed replica Charmin wrapper that went around the two of us. We did that for a few years and then lost it somewhere. Other years I got a lot of use out of monk, priest and Chippendale outfits and hooked up with friends to do the Village People and Scooby Doo and friends (I was Freddy Jones). I won a contest as Ozzy Ozborne the year after his show premiered on MTV and dressed as Tanya Harding, complete with lead pipe and Rollerblades when she was in the news, but didn't really care for the drag thing (unlike Cox, who seemed to be wearing a wig, lipstick and fake boobs every year). My favorite adult costume, though, would have to be the Hanson Brothers-- it's fairly simple, a little obscure yet most people know who they are and I get to where my blades again.

I have lost some interest in Halloween in recent years. We used to go to parties but they seem to be more about the party and less about the holiday now. The outfits that adults are wearing are all about shock value instead of creativity and that has taken some of the fun out of it. Since I now have M3S, I want to make the focus on him and make it fun again.

MLW and I have talked about what we are going to do Friday night. Our neighborhood is full of old folks so it is not a good place to go out. By the time I get home from work it will be almost six and, even though daylight savings time is still going on, it will be getting dark and the kids will be heading out. This makes it hard to get out and go anywhere good and since MLW has to work early Saturday morning, we don't want to be out too late either. It may sound horrible but we were almost hoping for rain so we can Trick-or-Treat at the mall but the weather is supposed to be beautiful.

I think it is time to suck it up, put my money where my mouth is, quit trying to make excuses and do exactly what M3S wants to do... eat a taco and watch his TV. I guess we can save worrying about Trick-or-Treating until next year. Maybe then he can remember-- and understand, the punchline to his Halloween riddle...

Bolts! Why didn't I think of that?

Happy Halloweenie! Read this. Buy T-shirts. Peace.

Monday Morning Quarterback 1.09

2008-10-27T11:43:00.010-05:00

Back to the Monday Morning Quarterback thing after a full three-days of pushing my Squidoo lens promoting public awareness of Chiropractic Stroke. If you didn't get a chance to read it you definitely should-- especially if someone you care about visits a Chiropractor. The story generated over 100 hits on the blog from 37 unique visitors who, hopefully, forwarded it on to others that will read it soon and forward it... and so on, and so on, and so on.

I am encouraged that it did so well but I am still looking for ways to take the Site viral. Anything that any readers can do would be tremendously helpful as I am only one person with a job and a family and hoses that need to be taken into the garage before we get our first freeze of the season tonight. SkeetzTeez is doing pretty decent too. Looks like it is going to be our biggest month yet:

Top five keywords that resulted in visits to SkeetzTeez or SkeetzTeez Blog:

5. Jonas Brothers and Sarahcuda (tie)

4. Trivia

3. Chiropractor

2. Stroke

1. Suck for a Buck

Top five designs sold at SkeetzTeez:

5. I Survived a Major Brain Injury and All I Got was this Lousy T-shirt

4. Saturday Night Live- Schweddy Balls

3. McCain/Palin (McMaverick /Sarahcuda )

2 Big Brother (Sister)

1. Slapshot- Charlestown Chiefs

I couldn't figure out the run on Charlestown Chiefs T-shirts until I realized that they were selling in threes-- the kids are buying them to dress as the Hanson Brothers for Halloween; every time I think the McCain/Palin design is done, I sell another one; and I don't understand how trivia often makes it on the search list as I don't have anything directly relating to the subject. Maybe I should! Notes from the weekend:

• Since when did all suspects become Persons of Interest? Would you be more willing to turn yourself in if you were named a person of interest rather than the suspect-- whether you were guilty or not? To me, they are one in the same.

• Did I miss when they moved the end Daylight Savings Time? I thought it was always before Halloween.

• What ever happened to taking things you found around the house and making your Halloween costume? You have to spend a fortune on something the kids are going to wear, if your lucky, a couple of hours.

• Have you seen the adults' costumes available? They are either too gross or too revealing. The women's outfits look like hussies, harlots, hookers or whores.

• Do 11-year-olds need to bring two forms of identification? A local municipality passed legislation limited trick-or-treaters to 12 and under between the hours of 5:30 and 8:00. That should open up the streets for vandalism for all the 14-year-olds after 9:00.

• How is that working for you?

• Why does no one use the word hussy anymore... or harlot, for that matter?

• Isn't it about time that we can vote over the Web? The Internet has made the gathering of information, in almost every form, many times easier for both the gatherer and the provider. Why can't they come up with a way to vote in general elections that way too?

• Do you think the media, not the advertisements but through polls and such, influence the elections? I tend to think hearing poll results can make a difference how people vote or, even more notably, deter them to vote altogether because they assume that the race has already been decided and their candidate has either won-- and doesn't need the extra vote, or lost-- and

the vote is wasted.

• When is this season going to end? Looks like the World Series is going to drag on for, at least, another day or two because of rain, of all things. Get your Old Time Baseball T-shirt while you can before I switch it over to the Old Time Football Design.

• Who would've guessed? Our Fantasy Football team defeated the guys in first place this week, climbed out of the cellar and are only three-and-a-half games out of the lead halfway through the season.

• What should we name our new baby boy? Vote over there somewhere ------->

That's all for me tonight. I work-out and diet for good health but, because of the regimen, I am too tired to enjoy it.

Read this. Buy T-shirts. Peace.

It Only Seems Fair

2008-10-23T13:00:00.021-05:00

It's time to take a break from the regularly-scheduled, fun-filled, witty insight usually provided on this forum to allow me to address an issue that is very important to me. I have been working on this post for some time now but have saved it until today because I wanted to make sure I got my point across without sounding like a whining fool. I have scheduled this article to publish on a Friday afternoon so most readers will have a chance to spend a few minutes reading over it in the next three days and, if they choose to do so, take action upon it.

I have been having fun writing this blog for the last-- let's see... how long has it been?-- three months or so. I started writing to, primarily, promote my cafepress shop, SkeetzTeez-- which I started after recovering from the stroke to explore some different creative outlets. I have found that the blog was something else artistic that I could do, too, that in many ways was even more creative. There are tons of other designers out there and, although there stuff isn't quite as cool as mine, we are basically all selling the same designs on the same merchandise while I can do my own thing with the blog... in my own style.

It's hard for an artist of any kind to get enough challenge and creative stimulus in the corporate environment. There is just not enough opportunity to act on an imaginative impulse when you are restricted by client branding standards, industry principles and business etiquette. In addition, after the life changing event that I experienced (the doctors said I took a life-inventory), I was questioning my value and the value of everything I did. I made a promise to myself that I was not going to do anything that didn't mean... something.

As I got back into my regular routine and further away from the life-and-death situation, however, my commitment to my new ideals got weaker, but the search for inspiration with the additional projects that I was involved with was paying off. It was easier to accept the medial tasks, administrative responsibilities and office politics at work all day because in the evenings and on the weekend I was able to get my fill of, what I would consider, more creative projects-- producing designs that I thought other people would like.

It's not quite fine art but at least it is art for it's own sake instead of art trying to sell something else for somebody I don't even know and, I'm sure, could care less about me. I can feel, somewhat, better for that. Additional benefits include all of the things I'm learning about business, marketing and the Internet and we can't forget that my sales have been pretty strong and I hope to turn a few bucks over the gift-giving season.

Although my brain attack was the driving factor behind all of this, as I have written on many occasions, I didn't want my blog, or anything else that I was doing to be all about the stroke. Information that I have come upon recently, though, has made me rethink this.

People under the age of 45-50 that visit a chiropractor for neck adjustments are 3-9 times more likely to have a stroke than people who don't get chiropractic treatment. Several studies support similar findings with only the factors of age and how much more common incidents of severe events occurring differing.

I was seeing a chiropractor twice a week in the couple of months leading up to my stroke. I was being treated for middle- and upper-back pain and part of that treatment included cervical spinal adjustments. For those that have never experienced a procedure like this, it consists of the patient, lying on his or her back on a specially designed table, trying to remain relaxed as the chiropractor gently takes the patient's head with both hands, rolls it around to find the correct position and then, quickly and sharply (some would say violently) snaps the head to one side. Then he repeats the same process on the other side.

Studies of stroke patients reveal a wide spectrum of results that lend credit to both sides of the argument about whether or not this procedure ultimately contributes to the brain attack. In my opinion, as an individual that has been exposed to neck manipulation dozens of times, is that this is, by far, much more traumatic on the physical structure of the cervical spine than the action of shampooing a person's hair in a hairdresser's wash basin. You are more likely, however, to have heard that many believe there is some risk of the gentle, common, salon practice causing a stroke because the cosmetologist community doesn't have the money-- and therefore, the lawyers and the power-- that the chiropractic alliance has to keep it quiet.

I like my chiropractor. He is an acquaintance of my sister and her husband, who set me up with him for an emergency appointment the day before my wedding. Leading up to the big day, my nerves and the stress got to me, my back seized-up and I couldn't move. I credit him for the fact that I had any mobility on one of the most important days of my life. I won't go as far as to definitely blame him for my stroke but I do absolutely believe that snap to my neck caused my stroke.

The way I understand it, there are two arteries, the vertebral arteries, that run straight up the back of the neck and through two holes in the sides of each neck vertebra. When the head turns the artery is kinked and the delicate inner lining can tear. Sometimes the damage is immediate and the patient collapses right there. Sometimes mild symptoms start immediately and progress over the hours after the patient leaves the chiropractor. If the tear is small, it will clot over then, days later, the clot breaks off, travels to the brain and causes a stroke. This is what happened to me and, because of the delay, I didn't associate the two events until months later.

Chiropractors are aware of the risk but claim that it only occurs in one in a million manipulations and there is no more chance of having a stroke after chiropractic treatment as there is after visiting a general practitioner. They pro-actively spin a web of deception, throwing major dollars at propaganda campaigns to defend their position and guerrilla marketing tactics with commentary on common Internet social networks as well as their own underground forums disguised to look like public service announcements. I would not be surprised at all to soon find replies on this post from, so-called, doctors of sport medicine, denying any responsibility for such things by any member of their profession.

The complex system they have established and the massive budgets they have to work with are why I have broken from my "don't talk about the stroke" attitude and decided to write this post. It is why I have taken up the cause to inform as many people as possible about the victim's' side of the story.

Commercials on TV for women's birth control state all the benefits of a particular medication and then take the last few seconds to say something to the effect of, "this drug may cause strokes in some individuals. If you have a history of stroke, high-blood pressure or if you smoke, the risk is greater...". Then I think they go as far as to say, "... and you should not take this medication". I am not asking the chiropractic associations to go that far, but I do think it's only fair that they openly tell their patients that some studies show there is a possibility that the treatment they are going to subject you to may be hazardous to your health. Why are they not held accountable for, professionally, giving the public the information they need to make a well informed-- possibly life-or-death-- decision?

Shortly after I was well enough to go home and continue with out-patient rehabilitation, I received a call from my Sports Medicine Doctor's Office. They did that from time-to-time if I hadn't been in for several weeks for an adjustment. I still wasn't speaking very well, at the time, but answered the phone, anyway, because I needed the practice. I could tell from the lady's voice on the other end of the line that she had no problem understanding me. Although my speech was a little slurred, as soon as she heard the word stroke, she dropped me like I was hot. I considered it a bit rude at the time, but thought it must have been because of the shock that I young man like me-- so active and full of life-- could be struck down by a horrible event like that. It didn't occur to me until later that it may have been some remote feeling of responsibility or just the mere avoidance of any liability that cut our conversation short. Funny that I never heard from the office again. You would think that, in my physical condition-- and all-- I would need some good therapy.

I have done a lot of research and have found enough evidence to convince myself. Others that have heard my story have thought enough of it that they, too, have discontinued chiropractic visits. I am, now, committed to the cause spreading my story, plus the stories of other victims so those hearing them can have enough information to form an educated opinion, become committed themselves and tell someone else.

I have developed a Squidoo Web Page to provide a resource for stroke survivors and their loved ones as well as chiropractic patients and anyone in the general public that can find it on their heart to care. The page contains video, books and other material related on strokes and stroke recovery. It also includes a list of links with valuable information about chiropractic stroke and a Guestbook to provide feedback. I hope to develop a network of patients, caregivers, doctors and advocates in this community to provide input, encourage discussion and offer support between members.

I hope this project can be a forum for all interested parties to gather and exchange information and bring awareness to the general public and potential patients-- or victims. I am going to get behind this because I think it is important, but as I do, I feel it is also important that it doesn't bother the readers of this blog or individuals in any of the many other networks I have gotten involved in. I will, however, occasionally, ask for your help.

Please take a moment and visit the Strokes and Chiropractor page. Please go through some of the information and see what you think. Please forward this blog entry to anyone that you know that you think would care-- especially anyone that visits the chiropractor (click the envelope with the arrow at the bottom of the story). Please sign the guestbook, leave your comments (click comments below), favorite and bookmark (in the side bar on the right side) the pages, give it a high rating and spread the word about it in anyway that you feel you can. I will never give away any of your personal information to anyone at any price and you may post anonymously if you wish.

If you know me-- even if it is only from this blog-- you know this is important to me and I hope you can tell that I wish no ill will on the people trying to make a living in chiropractic practices. I just want what should only be fair... for patients to be told of the possible consequences of that kind of treatment and be able to make the decision to continue care after knowing all the facts. I wasn't given that opportunity. Hey-- there are people that stroke out and die, right there, on the table! I am so thankful to God that I am blessed with a second chance. I want to do something with that chance... and this is my chance.

I don't expect to gain a thing... except the satisfaction of, maybe, helping one other person to not have to go through the challenges that other victims and I face every day.

I have never been a good public speaker so I can't make an impact on the national talk show circuit. Although I can write a bit, I don't think this story is going to be featured on Google's Blog of the Day. I can carry a tune and throw a decent slider with a Wiffleball but neither of those skills are going to help with this cause. The one thing that I do have going for me, though, is that when I put my mind to something and am willing to put some hard work into it, I can find a way to accomplish most anything. I also am privileged to know the best, most caring people in whole world that I know are going to help... because they have done it before.

Not to pressure you to take action but... what have you got to lose? My hope is that something magical happens and this thing goes viral in the next couple of weeks-- an I tell two friends and they tell two friends and they tell two friends, Pay It Forward, kind of deal.

If you spread the word, I cannot guarantee you three wishes, a day of good luck for every person you forward the email to or that total strangers will send you money, but you may be able to have the satisfaction of passing the email on to someone in your address book, who emailed it to a guy at work, who told his wife to check out the Site, who mentioned it to a woman at church, who's son had recently been in a car accident and gotten the number of a Sports Medicine Doctor and has his first appointment for evaluation on Monday morning... so he can ask the chiropractor about the risk of being harmed by the procedure he is about to go through and expect an honest answer-- It only seems fair.

Thanks for your help. Peace.

Squidoo Lens on Chiropractic Stroke

Note to those in the chiropractic profession: I am not a doctor. I am not a writer. I am, however, an individual who had a stroke and I strongly believe that stroke was caused by chiropractic treatment. You have every right to believe something else and every right to dispute me. You have the right to remind the public that you have a diploma and boast about your years of experience. I respect your right to criticize my grammar and even to write that I am a whining fool... but not here-- this is our forum... the individuals that have gone through the experience.

You can believe that one severe brain injury out of a million-- a statistic that I sincerely believe is grossly understated because incidents like mine that are not included in the stats as the association was not made early enough-- is not enough to worry about. I tend to think that one in a million is way too high when you consider... that could be as many as one person every day in North America. How many manipulations will you complete in your career?

Drive Time

2008-10-22T10:11:00.011-05:00

My morning drive to work takes me 23-minutes and 52-seconds on a good day. Considering, however, that there are almost no good days, I'm lucky to make the trip in less than a half-hour or 45-minutes most of the time. I have become wiser in my old age and have just come to accept that there is nothing I can do to reduce the amount of time that I spend on the road and I must try to make the most of the situation.

I take advantage of the opportunity to prepare, mentally, for the day ahead of me. I want to be sure to not be distracted when driving but, because there is less driving and more crawling, very slowly along the highway, I can get away with some minor brain-activity like practicing a speech, memorizing multiplication tables or analyzing the previous night's reality show episode and trying to handicap the odds of each contestant being eliminated off the island, dance floor or stage the next week. On days when the sun is out or when it is raining I can catch up on some reading or get in a game of Texas Hold 'em on my cel phone. If I am lucky enough that there is a fender-bender going the other way, I actually have enough time to do some laps around adjacent cars or take a quick nap before a fellow commuter notices I have dozed off and politely reminds me what we are here for with a friendly toot of his or her horn.

All kidding aside, as seen in yesterday's post, I'm an Excellent Driver, I am a big proponent of eliminating the distractions we all face while trying to operate a motor vehicle. I am also a believer that, although cel phones have received most of the attention, something as simple as glancing away to change the radio station or adjust the climate controls can be distracting enough to cause an accident.

I am fortunate, though, to own a 2006 Toyota Prius that, for safety's sake more than comfort, has most controls for every system in the car, literally, right at your fingertips. Besides the usual turn signals, lights, windshield wipers and cruise control levers mounted on the steering column, the automakers embedded controls for the heater/air conditioner and, most importantly, the audio system, right on the steering wheel. With the additional features of a LED instrument panel on top of the dashboard, up at the windshield instead of lower on the dash, I rarely have to take my eyes off of front and center, much less, my hands off the wheel.

The radio in the car is important to me because I think I would be more distracted by it not being there. Let me try to explain... when I am by myself, without some kind to mental stimulation, my mind starts to wander. Having a creative imagination, this isn't usually a concern unless, of course, I start to wander into a thought that makes me anxious because, no matter how ridiculous the concept may sound, if my anxiety takes over, it very quickly becomes real to me and I start obsessing about all the negative possibilities until I become overwhelmed with what is going on in my mind and forget about everything else that is going on around me.

So... I listen to the stereo when I drive to work. I often listen to one of three AM talk stations-- one news, one sports and one variety. I'm not sure if my reasons for doing so are because it is just a natural instinct thing that one starts listening to talk radio when they start getting old or if it is a security thing that I know what I am going to get when I listen to these stations: news- mostly bad in this day and age, but they try (mostly unsuccessfully) to put a positive spin on things; sports- mostly bad in this town, but they try (mostly unsuccessfully) to be funny and entertaining; and variety- is a little less predictable depending on the guest and subject of the day could be anything from gossip or fortunetellers to current events and interviews with entertainers or political leaders.

You would think that music stations would be a little more predictable, but I have found that is not the case-- especially during morning drive time. I have a total of 12-pre-set stations that I have programmed on the car stereo. Because I like a very wide variety of music, so I basically have each of those pre-sets on a different genre station-- classic rock, pop, easy listening, R&B, jazz, etc. I even have Christian music and Hip Hop stations programmed in for when MLW is in the car and the Disney Station set for when M3S is with me.

Monday morning, for a change of pace, I felt like listening to one of the twelve music stations instead of the three talk stations, mainly because even the sports guys were discussing the upcoming presidential election. I have heard about enough discussion of our two candidates to last until the 2016 campaign that I would be willing, at this point, to commit my vote to the guy that promises to pull all of the negative advertisements, honestly give their position on the real issues and then shut their trap. But I digress...

In the first 2o-minutes of my commute, I was surprised to find nothing worth listening to. An almost constant cycle through eleven (I just couldn't bring myself to try the Hip-Hop that early in the morning) music channels and I could find no music! I would have even resorted to Worship music or gospel hymns on my wife's or the Jonas Brothers on the kid's favorites, but even they were broadcasting talk-- or should I say static and talk (neither has a very strong signal). Some of the others run big production, syndicated, super-crazy morning shows that you expect a lot of teams of hosts and their wild shenanigans, but a just couldn't believe that no one was playing any thing close to music for such a long period of time.

Granted that I was flipping through all of those channels and about three-quarters of the way through my trip I was frustrated enough to try the scan button to see if I could find anything anywhere else (nothing but the end of a classical tune and something that I think was a Hindu love song) so I could have missed a very, very short song, but it would have had to be timed just perfectly-- nothing else but politics, commercials and political commercials.

Oh... and Christmas music, of all things! There is a station in this town that has gone to all Holiday music... in October. I expect they will continue with that format through December but, if they are doing it now, they might as well play it all year long!

I was about to give up because it had been a good traffic day and I was almost to work when I came upon the sweet sound of a ringing acoustic guitar chord. It only took a few seconds to recognize the harmonized vocals of Extreme with their 1990 chart-topping hit "No More Words"-- I love that song!

As I pulled into my parking spot on the side of the building, the rock ballad was coming to it's end. I sat there for a few seconds to soak in the last little bit and see if the station would follow that classic with another cool tune. Imagine my astonishment when they went with... an Extreme Two-for! Hole Hearted! Sweet! The only thing that was going to beat that on a Monday A.M. is to get to hear some other obscure one-or-two-hit wonder like Nelson or Zebra!

My morning had gone from worst-to-first and now I could go in and start my work day with a song in my head and a smile on my face. After all of that searching and searching, I stumbled onto a little piece of heaven right here on... the Oldies station? There must be some mistake! If music on the charts when I was old enough to vote is being played on the Oldies Station-- there can be no doubt that I am definitely getting old.

Don't get old. Buy T-shirts. Peace.

I'm an Excellent Driver

2008-10-21T10:41:00.015-05:00

Does everyone think to themselves, "I'm an excellent driver?" And if they do, do you think they say it in a voice like Dustin Hoffman in Rainman?

I've been behind the wheel for 25 years now (for what I figured out to be about 550,000 miles) and I tend to believe I one of the best drivers I have met. If you ask MLW, however, she would say that I drive too fast and aggressively and, I guess, the couple of accidents I have had and several-- okay, more than several-- tickets I have gotten, would go far to back her claim.

I still believe, however, though I may be lacking the patience to score a perfect 100 on my driving test again (written and roadway), my experience and skills are far better than your average individual on the road today. I am not, by any means, trying to instruct anyone how to safely and lawfully operate a motor vehicle, but I will offer up these friendly driving tips that I have picked-up over the years to help you avoid being cursed at by other drivers:

Wear sunglasses- I don't mean you should need a pair of fancy Blueblockers or anything. We are not, after all, concern about the health and welfare of your eyes, we just want you to stop squinting and traveling along at a snail's pace. You can still get a pair of cheap sunglasses at the Dollar Store-- and yes... they are only a dollar. This will shield your eyes enough to pick up the pace a little bit without worrying too much about rear-ending the moron in front of you without sunglasses. Note: When the traffic guy on the radio says your driving into the Sun, he doesn't mean your going to drive into the Sun!
Use your visor- Similar to the sunglasses, but you don't even have to go out and buy these separately. Most, if not all, cars made in the world after 1963 are equipped with sun visors in both the driver and passenger positions. Other "useful" accessories including mirrors, lights and pockets to hold various other things that you don't need in a car, are sometimes added-on to the visors, but the primary intent of these devices is to shade your eyes from the Sun so you can use both hands to do more important things while you drive-- like driving.
Use your blinkers- Does anybody call them directional signals? They're just blinkers, right? Before this invention, sometime before I was born, drivers had to stick their arms out the window and point which way they were going. Pretty silly, huh? Mainly for safety's sake, automakers came up with the bright idea to put a lever on the steering wheel that would flash lights on the car to inform other drivers that you are about to cut them off or "you might want to go around me because I'm trying to make a left onto this busy street and I might be here a while because I can't find a place to squeeze my giant, gas-guzzling minivan in". All it takes is a flick of the pinky but I'm amazed at the number of drivers that are not courteous enough to use the signal.
Use of Turn Lanes- Best traffic discovery in the last twenty years-- the "odd" turn lane. You know, if you have a four-lane road (two in each direction) they add that fifth, middle lane to allow cars making a left to get out of the main flow of traffic. Whatever engineer first came up with this idea was brilliant! Dull individuals, however, that use the lane to make the left turn onto the road and then sit there until they are able to merge in, spoil the whole concept by blocking the lane and screwing up traffic in both directions.
Drive in the correct lane- While we are on the subject of lane changes... we were on the subject of lane changes, right? I have to be careful with this one because this is where my natural, male aggression shows it's ugly head. There are so many cars on the road now that it is hard to find a two-laner anywhere. Almost all highways (or bi-ways or freeways or interstates or whatever you call them in your part of the world) have, at least three lanes in each direction. I was taught in tenth-grade DE class that each lane on a multi-lane road, had a specific purpose-- the right lane was for entering and exiting the highway; the left lane was for passing; and the middle lane was for regular through travel. It has been a long time and with budget cuts and liability issues most school districts have eliminated Driver Education programs but, it seems to me, that no one is following these guidelines anymore. It seems simple enough: enter the freeway and move to the middle lane until you come to a car moving slower than you, at which time you move one lane left, pass the car and move back to the middle lane. What is so hard about that? A lot of highways I travel on have four or five lanes in each direction which should make it easier and more uniform but, in reality, it just turns into a free-for-all with the faster drivers weaving in-and-out of the slower ones. Someone is going to get hurt.
Limit distractions- This is hard and I, sometimes, have trouble with it. Cel phones are a great tool to have but they are one of the biggest causes of traffic problems on the road and studies show that people using them cause more accidents. How many times have you seen a person on their phone distracted enough to have trouble steering or controlling their speed? Believe it or not, if you are trying to talk on the phone and drive at the same time, it is very probable that you are doing the same. Although, cellular phones get most of the press there are many other things that can cause distractions too. Limit eating, shaving, sightseeing, smoking, putting on make-up, doing your hair, scolding the children, changing the radio station, looking for something, talking with passengers or anything else that may distract you from driving and... drive.
If you can't drive well... don't drive- This may be the most important thing to keep in mind, but is probably the hardest problem to correct. There are many reasons why an individual would not have the ability to drive well. There is so much discussion about the ability of the elderly and young people to drive that many states are considering legislation to restrict, limit or require addition testing for these drivers. In addition to the obvious person under the influence of drugs or alcohol, we must also look at other conditions like being sleepy or displaying road rage that impact a driver's abilities. The condition that is often overlooked that can be a major factor in a person's ability to drive is fear. My niece shouldn't have been driving for the first five years that she had her license. She was afraid to drive because she thought that she wasn't good at it-- she wasn't really that bad, but her fear overcame her and made her a poor driver. I don't know how many times I have seen a driver on one of those long, flyway, overpasses that take you up, over, and around the congestion of two intersecting super-highways, creeping along the wide, walled, reinforced roadway like one wrong move would have them plummeting off the face of the earth. You've got to respect the road but you can't be afraid of it.

Once again, I meant this post to go another way and I am running short on time so I will have to get back to the subject another time. Until then... drive safe... and buy T-shirts... or license plate frames. Peace.

What's in Your Name: 2

2008-10-16T12:15:00.003-05:00

I have written about names and naming children a couple of times since starting to blog so I won't go into too much depth on the subject today. Because I don't think that we can get out of deciding on a name before we are issued a birth certificate, however, it is probably a good idea to start the grueling task of choosing a name for our Son, now that we know it will be a son. It seems a little unfair that the name we pick in the next 18-weeks will be the one he will be stuck with for his whole life.

I haven't really used the polling feature on this blog to this point, but I think this will be a good opportunity to try it out. I have included our "short list" of names-- some suggested by MLW, M3S or myself and some I am not sure where they came from. You may vote for more than one name in the poll, but you can only vote once... so make it count.

If you would like more background information on what to consider when making your choice, read What's in Your Name? Please keep in mind that we, being the child's parents, are in no way obligated to name our Son the winning name in the poll. After all, some of the names suggested by M3S are cartoon characters and some of them I came up with... and I am not good at this.

Your comments are welcomed but be nice as to not hurt anyones' feelings, huh?

Thanks and buy T-shirts. Peace.

Designs We Like 1.02

2008-10-15T12:22:00.009-05:00

This month's Designs We Like: Crossover Blog features at ease tees, a cafepress shop infused with a uplifting Christian message.

There is something special about the innocence and openness of a child. As little time as three-years ago I would've had a different attitude about it but, since being so close to M3S while he has been growing up, it seems that every day I'm filled with amazement at something he does.

I was drawn to this month's Designs We Like entry not because of it's superior artistic techniques or a witty saying, but by the simplicity of how a young lady graphically interprets God's word. This "Hearts Belong" design features eight colorful heart-shaped balloons floating along above the text, "Let your hearts belong to Jesus"-- a reminder that, as Christians, we should reflect Christ in our hearts and live our lives in accordance with the truth of the scriptures. When we are saved, we belong to Christ, and are His.

Though it is obvious that the artwork was done by a child, it is a very talented child with a design sense way beyond her years, making this a great design that is appropriate for individuals of any age. The design is available for imprint on a variety of Men's, Women's and Children's apparel and gift items including T-shirts, outerwear, caps, buttons, bags, mugs and even a little teddy bear. In addition, there is a fine selection of printed materials like greeting cards, calendars and posters that would make for a unique, custom gift for loved ones.

There are also other designs from the same artist in this collection called "Boog's Corner" at the family-friendly cafepress shop, at ease tees, where the father of the talented nine-year old has a large selection of Christian inspired designs ready to be imprinted on over 100 items. With shop sections such as Joyful Noise, Arrows, Vision, Truth and Gospel Magic, you are sure to find something for everyone on your gift list.

This blog post is a part of a crossover blog. Other participants in this crossover blog are:
http://ateasetees.wordpress.com/ http://www.blogbydonna.com/
http://mindinfestation.blogspot.com http://getyergoat-goatgifts.blogspot.com http://shagtees.blogspot.com http://www.nanwrightart.com
http://randomshirts.blogspot.com/ http://skeetzteez.blogspot.com/
http://idesignbrian.wordpress.com/ http://www.shopkeeperdesigns.com

Monday Morning Quarterback 1.08

2008-10-14T11:44:00.007-05:00

No, you don't have your days mixed up. I'm running the MonAMQB log on Tuesday again because I was off yesterday. We get a floating holiday at work this year that I really don't understand how it is different from any other Personal Time Off which we switched to from Vacation and Sick Days several years ago. There is not a list of days that you must choose from to take your floating holiday on like Columbus Day or your Birthday. I just happened to take those days (a coincidence that they were on the same day this year) because MLW was off and we had a doctor appointment scheduled.

I don't have many notes from the three-day weekend because my mind was trying to get wrapped around the ultrasound on Monday and I wrote about that yesterday. I did have a few things jotted down, though, and I will try to expound on them a little bit as I have the space and time:

• Thanks for all of the birthday greetings. It was nice the way that the baby stuff, sort of, overshadowed the annual reminder of my imminent demise, but also nice for the special wishes.

• Facebook is really slick. It's a nice way to keep up with people of different degrees of interest in a mutually acceptable way. Don't understand what I mean? Let me put it more bluntly: You can be friendly with people that you want to and people that you don't care to with a, seemingly, similar amount of effort. Now you get it? How 'bout this: You don't have to contact all of your friends individually-- you can just post a greeting and everyone is responsible to read it at their leisure.

• SkeetzTeez has had a terrible dry spell until this weekend, when things picked up a bunch. I did, however, make enough over the last month to order MLW some cool maternity shirts and had some money left in the account to get myself my favorite new, Man on First: Wiffleball t-shirt!

• My shirts are getting more attention when we wear them out in public so I made up cards with the websites listed to hand out when people ask about the designs. M3S is a great model and I even had several people comment on the See Spot Run design on Saturday.

• Thinking of a way I can get talent shots on the cafepress Site. Want to be on the Web? Send me a picture of yourself in something you bought on SkeetzTeez and I will give you something in return. What? I don't know what! But something... good.

• If the Rams can win a couple more, it may be hard for our fantasy team to have a better record at the end of the season. Right now, we're tied.

• It's chili season again! I am signed-up for a couple of cook-offs but I am torn between sticking with my award winning Screaming Mimi recipe which, technically, I should not be able to eat on my new diet or go the more healthy route, modify the good-but-not-good-for-you ingredients, risk that it sucks and be the laughing stock of the competition?

• Do bees die in the winter? M3S loves to go to the farm and watch the beehive that they have in a two-sided glass display case. We go maybe once a month or so but more often this time of year because they have the harvest festival with corn mazes, a petting zoo, pony rides, a pumpkin patch and other fun stuff for the kids but his favorite part is still watching the bees. He is such a smart boy and I just want to find out the answer so I can come up with an explanation before he asks.

• I have started a list of things that M3S says and asks that I will write on in the near future.

• In the simplest terms, I am thankful that I made it to my 43rd Birthday because there was a period of time in the last year when I wasn't sure if I was going to make it and, if I did what kind of shape I would be in.

• Iron Man: 3.75/5 stars. Don't Mess with the Zohan: less than 3.0 and it is not a family film.

• Visit my Squidoo Lenses if you have any interest in any of the subject matter and make your own if you don't. Each lens is updated at least weekly with fun new stuff. I currently have all of these available for your viewing pleasure:

• SkeetzTeez: Pop Culture T-shirts and Gifts

• Urban Cougar

• Urban Prankster Network

• Shermer High School

• Mix Tapes

• How to Make a Suck for a Buck T-shirt

• Jort Fashion

• Mullet Fashion

• That's What She Said

• Immaturity

• Giving it 110%

In closing, I have had a few people say to me recently (most of which I have known for 20 or more years), "I didn't know you could write!" My immediate reaction is to reply, "Well yes, they taught me that in Grade School and I have been doing it ever since," but I don't want to be rude.

Most people can tell a story or joke or about their summer vacation without much of a problem but have a brain freeze when it comes to putting it down on paper. I have found that it is so much easier to write then speak. Part of this may be because of the trouble I was having with my speech but, when you think about it, what is really the difference between speaking and writing? In my opinion it is much easier to write because you have time to think about what you are going to say and you can always erase and redo it you get in trouble.

Fact is, I am having a ball doing this. I sometimes get bored with new projects quickly but I still look forward to taking the 45-minutes to an hour to have my say. I hope anybody reading is enjoying it as half as much as I am. If you know anybody that may be interested in it too, please forward the link on to them and...

Buy T-shirts. Peace.

The Big Question

2008-10-13T20:42:00.005-05:00

Today was the big 20-week ultrasound. Any parent knows that this is the test that they are usually able to tell the gender (we say gender instead of sex) of the baby in Mama's tummy. I am writing like I am talking to a three-year-old because, since MLW and I found out that we were expecting our second child, I have been spending most of my time explaining, as best as I could, the whole pregnancy thing to our first-born.

From the moment he could understand that he was going to have a new sibling, he was sure that he wanted to have a little brother. His mother and I were torn between a boy and a girl for several different reasons. When we had this test with the first child, we were both hoping for a daughter. There was a little bit of disappointment even when we heard, "It's a Boy!" I know it sounds weird because expecting parents are always saying, "We don't care as long as the baby is healthy," but I think it's alright to want a healthy baby boy or girl.

Now that we have had three wonderful years with our Son, we both would want nothing more than to have another boy but it's not that simple. There are so many things to consider when you are talking about raising a boy or a girl and when you add up all of the points for each gender, it makes it hard to have a preference.

MLW wants a daughter because we have a girl's name picked out and, although she won't say so herself, I think she would like to be able to dress up a little girl and do her hair all cute and stuff. On the other hand, she would like another son because she is convinced that all girls grow up to hate their mothers at some time in their life and we don't have to deal with wedding planning.

My opinions are similar in that I think it would be fun to have the All-American family with a boy and a girl. I think it would be great to have a little Daddy's girl and I want to experience as many different things in my life and we are planning on this being our last child so a daughter would be good.

I can't help thinking, though, of how much fun we can have wrestling around with two little boys. We already have all the stuff we need to raise a boy and I would not have to paint any rooms or anything if we have another son. Most importantly, though, is the fact that I don't really think I could handle the tween and teen years with a young lady. I, truly, think that I would lose my mind when she starts dating and stuff.

My wife's OB is a wise lady and has some good stories about her own kids. Her husband was happy when they found out that they were going to have a son because they would save money on toilet paper. I don't really agree with him on that statement but he also said, "With a boy, we only have to worry about one penis..."-- good point.

At this point you are probably thinking, "What is it going to be?" especially if you are one of the individuals that I made read the blog to find out. Well, without coming right out and saying, let me tell you... we did have the ultrasound today and we are all soooooooo happy.

Mama will just have to convince one of her future daughter-in-laws to name her baby girl Anna Bella Sophia because Paulie is going to have his baby brother. Now if I can only explain to him how the doctor's going to get him out of Mama's tummy. While I try to come up with something... buy T-shirts. Peace.

Let's Roll! 1.06

2008-10-10T11:29:00.008-05:00

I totally understand how, with the pending economic crisis, individuals may want to think about cutting back on some of the non-critical budget expendiatures. I, myself, am cutting back, limiting the number of times I eat out to once a day (three times on weekend days), flushing the toilet only after going number two (to save on water bills) and shortening my weekly hot stone massage from one-hour to 45-minutes (except for tonight 'cause I am feeling extra tense after the five-day week).

I have expected for sales of T-shirts to fall off at this difficult time. I didn't, however, foresee them falling off the face of the earth or think that I would go for days without seeing a visitor to either the cafepress shop or this blog! What ever happened to window shopping?

I am not trying to make a living selling this stuff so it is not really a problem. I have made enough to pay for my costs for over a year and I have reinvested part of the profits back into gifts for friends and some really cool designed T-shirts for me. I don't need the money but, after doing this for several months now, I have gotten used to and I do need... the attention.

I really miss just knowing somebody is checking out my designs or reading what I have to say. It's not only that I put a lot of work into it but more of it makes me feel good to know that what I do is making somebody-- anybody-- laugh, or feel good, or think.

Okay, I'll stop nagging everyone to buy t-shirts if you promise to check in every once in a while to let me know you still love me. Let's Roll:

Howmanyofme.com
I can't explain what good this site does but I did spend more than a few minutes exploring my name and then my family and friends. I will let the site description take it from here:

There are 305,373,985 people in the United States of America. If everyone in the U.S. lined up single file, the line would stretch around the Earth almost 7 times. That's a lot of people.

The U.S. Census Bureau statistics tell us that there are at least 88,799 different last names and 5,163 different first names in common use in the United States. Some names are more common than others.

There are 50,428 people named John Smith in the United States. There are 1,067 people named James Bond, 115 people named Harry Potter , 512 people named George Bush, and 32 people named Emily Dickinson. However, Johnny Cash (39 people) songs aside there are, statistically speaking, very few boys named Sue.

There are 16 other people in the U.S. that share my proper name but there is only one skeetz! What about you? How many people share your name?

Yahoo News: Political Dashboard
You are probably getting sick of all of the presidential election stuff. In a way, I am too, but at the same time it is all kind of exciting. At least exciting enough that I want to check up on the news about it.

This site does a fairly decent job of giving, seemingly, impartial info on the upcoming race, including an interactive electoral map to get up-to-date progress reports of your favorite candidate in the race.

Personally, I am not one that preaches and goes on about how to be a good American and do your civic duty, you need to be involved in the election and supporting one of the parties because, in all honesty, I don't believe one person can make that much of a difference and, ultimately, you are just voting for the lessor of two evils. I do believe, however, that every citizen of the U.S. should vote because it is their right and individuals should be well informed of the issues that effect them so they can make an educated decision.

Wiffleball
This is a squidoo lens that, when I originally stumbled on it, made me mad because I was going to create a similar one. As I looked into it further, though, I found that it was really well done.

It includes rules of the game, instructions on how to throw a variety of pitches and video of some guys that know how to play the game pretty well. I mean... they aren't up to the caliber to be able to take on the boys from Ville Maria-- but they aren't bad.

Squidoo
I know I have mentioned this before but Squidoo is really cool for networking or just having fun. Check out all of my lenses and then make your own and...

Buy T-shirts. oops! Peace.

Man on First...

2008-10-09T12:49:00.010-05:00

We went to a graduation party in the Summer so, naturally, there were a lot of teenagers there. I'm not the type to sit around and make conversation with people I don't know very well so I grabbed a Wiffle ball and bat and asked my Dad if he thought we could get a game started.

I should have known what we were in for from the condition of the equipment-- still in it's original packaging-- not a scratch on it. Wiffle balls are best used after they have been well broken-in for a season or so. They are made from a space-age polymer that resists cracking even after hundreds of long balls. Incredibly enough, I have seen more shattered storm windows from well hit Wiffle balls than broken Wiffle balls under normal use.

After a few minutes of "sidewalk scuffing" (a proven technique of rubbing the ball on a rough surface, such a concrete, to speed up the aging process) my Dad and I were playing a leisurely game of catch. It didn't take long for us to collect a few spectators, as the only type of people that like making conversation with people they don't know very well more than me, is teenage boys. It didn't take very long for us to have enough people to start a game either because teenage boys find it hard to turn down a challenge-- especially from a guy old enough to be their father and his father.

Two things became, painfully, obvious shortly after the game started. One, they had never played by these rules before. Though we explained all of the rules prior to the first pitch, we had to stop several times to go over them again. It really is very simple: you swing and the catcher catches the ball-- your out; foul tip is an out; a caught fly ball is an out; over that sidewalk on the fly is a home run; any other fair ball is a single. No... you don't run the bases. No... there are no walks (or even balls), doubles or triples.

Now these are not the official rules of Wiffleball. These are the rules I learned from my Dad and he learned from the street when he was a kid in the late 40s and 50s. They are, probably, closer to stick ball rules as that's what they played before the Wiffle ball was invented and easily accessible to everyone. These were our rules when we played in our yard or anywhere else that we had numbers on everyone else.

We ran into many different rules growing up. Many were regional, by neighborhood, but even then, there were sometimes different variations of the game played on the same street. Some gave you three strikes or didn't require the catcher to catch them; some didn't count the foul ball as an out or counted a cleanly caught ground ball as an out. I've seen games played that they try to keep track of balls and strikes and Cox's group used to play with a trash can behind the plate-- if you hit it with the pitch, it's a strike... nonsense!

The Official Wiffleball Website, has the official rules and there are sanctioned leagues out there now that play by there own sets. All-in-all there are some differences, but the one thing all of the rules have in common is... no base running. That is why the phrase "Man on First" was first uttered and why it is one of the most common memories of a man's childhood.

One of the best things about Wiffleball is that it can be played with as few people as two or three. The game was also developed to be easily played in backyards, side lots, city streets and alleys or even indoors. These two important features didn't allow room for bases, much less, running between them, therefore "man on first" was stated after a single was hit and often between batters and even pitches to remind all the players that there was an invisible "man" on first base and that a dinger would score two, instead of one.

The other thing that I noticed very quickly, is these kids had, not only never been taught how to properly throw a Wiffle Ball, they had probably never seen anyone who has. This was obvious in that, besides watching me pitch like I had two heads, the confident (almost to the point of arrogant) little bastages, literally, couldn't touch any of my stuff with the bat. They would step their cocky punk-arses into the box and then quickly duck back out as the little white ball, that seem to definitely be directed right at their head, curved away, crossed the plate, and landed, gently, into the waiting hands of my Dad-- right down the middle.

I would let up a bit on the second and third pitch to reassure them that, even if they do catch one in the face, back or nads, it isn't going to hurt them. It's a Wiffle ball, for God's sake. The laws of physics won't allow an object with this light of a mass to accelerate to speeds greater than 23 mph. Then I come in with a riser that looks so inviting as it floats to the plate, tailing in slightly towards the right-handed batter, that the kid can't resist swinging for the fences-- Whiff! (How Wiffleball got it's name.)

My Dad still moves pretty good for an old guy and there aren't too many that I got past them that he didn't scoop up. I think I saw a little more of a pep in his step, too, when we started to gain a little respect from the juvenile delinquents. The kids were pretty amazed with our skills and even asked us to show us a few tricks. Some of them even listened when we explained how to throw a screwball or slap at the ball with the bat instead of swinging for power.

I feel bad that those little twerps made it through there whole childhoods without playing Wiffleball. What else did they miss out on?

I learned a lot of lessons growing up from Wiffleball and other games like it. I could go on-and-on about the secret to curving the ball (don't try so hard) or other uses for the Wiffle bat (snipe-hunting, bottle-rocket-launching, sword-fighting) and things like that for hours but I, unfortunately, don't have that time right now. I will find it, though, soon and write about some more fun stuff in future postings. Right now, we will leave it on hold... Man on First . Buy T-shirts. Peace.

They Grow Up So Fast...

2008-10-08T11:53:00.011-05:00

My Son told his Mother yesterday, "I hate my job!" He's three and he was as serious as a heart attack. When MLW asked him what job he thought he had, he replied, "You read the book. You should know what I'm talking about!"

It doesn't concern me that he thinks he has a job because, in a way, he does. He's got rules to follow and little chores to do and even when he does something as simple as going poopies, we reward him and tell him, "Good job, Buddy!"

I'm also not worried that he hates his job because, in all reality, none of us like to do most of the things we have to do. I would, however, would have rather he said, "I don't care for my job", just because it sounds nicer than hate.

What I am worried about in this story is that, we think the three-year old is being cute. We don't know where he learned to hate his job or what book he is talking about but the way he is being so serious and acting like such a little man is adorable. The problem is-- he is completely serious, he knows exactly what he is talking about and we better figure out the book he mentioned and re-read it so we can figure out what is going on.

I want M3S to be smarter than his mother and I... I just don't want it to happen before he gets into kindergarten. I get the feeling that he thinks he knows more than the both of us put together already.

I promised myself, way before I had any kids, that I would not be the kind of parent that would, blindly say, my child is smarter (or cuter, or superior, or anything better) than others but, as I learn more and more about him, I am having a harder time keeping that promise.

There was a Mom's magazine in the bathroom with the cover headline, "Is Your Child Gifted?" I didn't want to look but I couldn't resist skimming through the article. M3S, definitely, has some characteristics, like his advanced vocabulary, the tough questions he asks, how quickly he learns things and how easily he relates with older kids and adults, that might be signs that he could fall into that category. The article explained some of the pros and cons of being labeled a gifted child and suggested further testing, but I'm not sure, at all, how I feel about that.

I had the label of a gifted child from a very early age and sincerely believe that it contributed to my anxiety problems. Accelerated learning classes put a tremendous amount of pressure to succeed as a youngster and, ultimately, didn't help that much with college as an art major.

Though I would be very interested to know how smart M3S is, I think it is much more important to have a normal path to adulthood. That is hard enough for a kid, these days, without the extra pressures of trying to be better than everyone else.

It is a little hard for me to accept, but I do acknowledge that times have changed since I was a teenager. I believe, however, that if the kids can have the right values instilled in them, from an early age, they will have the tools available to help make the decisions that will make it easier for them. My Son is only three, though, so I haven't had to put my money where my mouth is yet. I'll give you an update on him in 10-12 years!

This whole thing is a learning experience for me, almost as much as it is him. I hope I haven't turned into one of those parents-- the kid is just so amazing! I am still pretty new to this, being a first time parent, so my obvious bias may be less with the coming of our second baby... unless its a girl! Then, all bets are off!

We'll see in five more days. Buy T-shirts. Peace.

Thank God It's Tuesday!

2008-10-07T11:33:00.015-05:00

As I recall, it was Bob Geldof and the Boomtown Rats who did the song "I don't like Mondays" in the mid-eighties and in the seventies there was a Disco tune (and movie) declaring "Thank God It's Friday". Both were fine pieces of music in their respected genres and eras but, as a student of pop-culture, I think it was what the lyrics said rather than the whole composition of the songs that made these moderate hits. I, especially, like Geldof and appreciate his humanitarian efforts, but this song, sort of, went the way of Johnny Paycheck's, "Take This Job and Shove-It", as a angry working-man's anthem. Besides... I love Mondays.

I must have heard six or seven people say, "Thank God, It's Friday," or something similar from the time I woke up last Friday until the time I made it to my desk. I don't know why I even noticed the comments as I am pretty non-functioning in that 85-minutes as my body runs on auto-pilot. That day, though, by the third or forth time, I was openly questioning the statements, and by the time I made it to the office I was just waiting for someone to mention it again so I could jump on them and start beating them about the head and torso.

Sadly, though, no one said word one to me that morning and after sitting puzzled about the whole thing for several minutes (that seemed like several hours) I had to bring it up to whoever would listen. Unfortunately (for them), this was the other members of my department-- three very nice, young ladies that didn't want to have anything to do with my rant.

Fridays are pretty much like every other weekday except I am more tired than Thursday-- the day that I'm more tired than every other day of the week. In addition, people tend to be more anxious on Fridays than other days and, in my vast experience with anxiety, I have learn that stress and anxiety produce more stress and anxiety resulting in more stress and anxiety. In my research, I recalled reading a report that more heart attacks occurred on Fridays than any other day of the week but I now am finding conflicting statistics claiming there are more on Saturdays or Mondays.

I just don't understand why most people you ask would say Friday was one of their favorite days of the week and probably their favorite weekday. If you would go further and ask why, I bet most replies would include something about work and before my brain attack, I would have answered the same way. Afterwards, however, I have gained a new perspective of things.

Jobs are a necessary evil. Don't get me wrong! I think you should put 100% (or 110% if you do that) effort into your job and everything else you commit to getting involved in but let's get our priorities straight-- work to live... don't live to work.

I understand that days that you have to do things are not going to be as nice as days when you do but, the fact is, there is always something that's got to be done and never enough time to do it. Make sure that you take some of that time and spend it on the things that are important to you because when you have one of those moments when you realize that we don't have enough time in our life... it is too late to do anything about it.

I'm sure you have heard this before but I think it is worth mentioning again. I don't know of anyone that when asked on their deathbed, "What would you do differently?" that would reply with anything like, "I wish I would have worked a little more."

I think it is a great practice to thank God for Fridays, but we don't often enough remember to thank him for the other days of the week, hours of the day, minutes of the hour or seconds of the minutes.

I've been thinking about this story for several days now and I wasn't really planning on it going this far in this direction or being this preachy, but on Monday morning I had an epiphany, of sorts-- one of many since my as near to death experience that I ever want to experience:

I rolled out of bed and tried to shower and get ready as quietly as possible because MLW works the noon - 8:00 PM shift on Mondays and I really don't want to wake her or M3S who may go to sleep in his own room on most nights, but almost always ends up in our bed by morning. Every other weekday I wake alone because they leave at such a ridiculous hour that I don't even know what time it is, because I've never been up that early.

There is something about those mornings and them just being there-- a peace that is incredibly hard to come by when they are awake. Even though we have a king-size bed I spend half of my night trying to find a little piece of mattress to myself but on Monday mornings, I want nothing more than to crawl back into bed between them-- and most Mondays I do.

At three, my son has become a little less of a Mama's boy, recently, and is hanging out with Dada more but he usually doesn't want to give hugs out too easily. Something amazing happens, though, when he sleeps early in the morning. If I lay by him, very quietly, after a few moments he will, eventually, feel my presence, roll toward me and cuddle up tight wrapping his strong little arms around and "hold me". At the same time, if everything is positioned just right, I can reach out and hold my wife and "the baby in her tummy" without her asking me to do so and without her knowing that I did.

This is why I thank God for Mondays. Since last November 28, I can find a reason to thank Him for every other day of the week, too. I find reasons to thank God for minutes and seconds that I am lucky enough to spend with the people I love. I thank Him that I am still better than most of my friends on the drums at RockBand and that I am able to write every day in this blog if I can find the time.

I asked an old friend that I haven't seen in a very long time if they ever freaked out because they realized that we were adults. We were just kids and next thing you know we are all grown up! I guess it is going to happen whether we are ready or not. I thank God for things like that, too, (and for not reminding me about them too much) and things like work even though they aren't my favorite things.

I lay there in my bed holding my two best friends in the whole world-- my family, that I dreamed that I would have, but never thought I would-- for as long as I can until I have to get up and head to work... the necessary evil that will allow me to be thankful for the things that are really important... like Tuesdays.

Be Thankful. Buy T-shirts. Peace.

Monday Morning Quarterback 1.07

2008-10-06T12:09:00.015-05:00

I was just too darn busy last week to get to the Let's Roll article where I usually post the numbers from the previous week. Sales at SkeetzTeez have been sluggish, to say the least, but from what I gather, with the economy the way it has been, I should be lucky to see any kind of traffic.

Top five keywords that resulted in visits to SkeetzTeez or SkeetzTeez Blog:

5. favre

4. jorts

3. urban cougars

2. cubs

1. suck for a buck

Top five designs sold at SkeetzTeez

5. Suck It Trebeck

4. Sweet Sixteen

3. McCain/Palin (McMaverick/Sarahcuda)

2. Slapshot- Charlestown Chiefs

1. Big Brother (Sister)

Here's my notes for the week:

• Too bad the Cubs Fans Wear Jorts T-shirts didn't catch on any quicker. They were bounced so quickly from the payoffs that no one had time to hate them. Oh well-- there's always next year.

• The Urban Cougar lens is getting so much traffic that it past my foundational lens SkeetzTeez in the Squidoo rankings. It is mostly perverts looking for porn but the site is rated G (but may lean towards PG).

• Hey-- the Rams didn't lose this week! I wish our fantasy league would have buys so we could say the same.

• October 2- First sighting of this year's Christmas stuff at the stores (Walgreen's).

• I actually cleared $1.35 from my Squidoo lenses in August-- after contributing to my charity, StrokeNet! I didn't realize I was doing anything to make a dime!

• Now that the economic bailout package has been passed, let's get things fixed with the market and such. It's hard to get anything done with the whole nation in a panic.

• Isn't it bazaar how all QTs are almost exactly alike? From the pattern of taquitos on the little rolly things to the general appearance of the uptight clerks trying not to look uptight is all spookily the same. I sometimes forget which location we are at when I come out from one of the 8-10 weekly trips and have to check the GPS before we get on our way.

• QT does have the best beverages available and the bathrooms are fairly, acceptably clean and easy to find (very important when M3S decides that he does have to go potty even though he was sure that he didn't have to the 17 times I asked him in the half-hour prior to leaving his Mimi's house.)

• Along with thinking about names, I never thought I would be so concerned about poop in my adult life either-- and nobody wants to hear about it so I will stop there. Except...

• Funny: Schwa said he had a poop like sand. (I don't know how that can be so hilarious to me and, at the same time, scar MLW for life.)

• I'm a little worried about my brother. He's turning 40 this week and I'm not sure, but it seems like it is affecting him more than it did the other guys. I sent him a Dr. Porkenheimer's Bonerjuice T-shirt from the shop. I hope it cheers him up! Happy Birthday C-Bear!

Hope everyone has a good week. I am still real busy but plan on having several blog entries after my weekend with my best buddy, including a story on Why I like Mondays, my thoughts on another birthday coming up and the ultrasound where we find out the gender of the baby next week. Buy T-shirts. Peace.

You Gotta Be Kidding Me 1.01

2008-10-02T12:03:00.008-05:00

I learned at a fairly early age than when you tell a story, you should make it as far out as you possibly can-- go big or go home. Besides being more entertained, this also make you listeners question whether the story can really be true and I have found, the more they question it-- the easier it is to believe. People think, "That's crazy enough that there is no way he could make it up!"

MLW and I had our first real fight about one of my stories. Without getting into a lot of details (because I promised her I would never tell the story again), I told her that I was allergic to strawberries because I didn't like them. I don't think I would have been in that much trouble but I had an elaborate story that went along with it. It was a very funny story and parts of it were actually true but most of it was made up in my head years and years before we had ever met. I took some creative liberties each time I told the story until it was a joke-- a joke about me, that I became very good at delivering.

Although, the basis of the story was true and little white lies were thrown in here and there, I had been doing the bit so long that the line between the truth and the lies became blurred. I felt really bad lying to my future wife and that's why I came clean. (Well that and because I knew that I was going to be caught in the lie.) After all, I didn't mean to hurt her, I was just telling a funny story.

I have since made a vow that I would never do anything like that again. I want, so badly, to gain her trust back but I know it is going to take a little while. I am still paying for the incident, not only anytime that we see a strawberry, but in that I cannot tell any story without her questioning if I am, again, taking some amount of creative licence. If MLW were a man I could expect payback but, from what I have learned about women (which is not much), I will just be tortured through my own guilty conscience for the rest of my life.

I don't think she would ever make up a story to get even with me. That is why I found the story she told me over the weekend so amazing. I found myself saying, "You gotta be kidding me!", but knowing the person that told her the story and knowing my wife would not make it up... I have to believe it is true.

This boy was nine or ten years old and had his birthday coming up. His Mom was known for throwing pretty elaborate parties and the kid was into animals (especially reptiles and stuff) so she arranged for a sort of petting zoo at their home on a Saturday afternoon. The boy and his friends got to see and hold small animals of the reptile and amphibian families like frogs, snakes, lizards, turtles and such. For the grand finale, the keeper brought out a long boa constrictor and let the birthday boy hold it.

We aren't sure if the small boy provoked the large snake in any way but, suddenly and without warning the boa bit the boy-- clamping down on his pectoral muscle, close to his shoulder-- and began to wrap it's long body around him trying to squeeze the life out of him. The startled mother, wanting desperately to help her son, grabbed the reptile and struggled to force the monster to release the child. This only further incited the snake as it got a hold of the mother also and started constricting around both of them.

I wish I could have been there to see what the snake handler was doing up to this point because he isn't mentioned at all until he takes out his machete and chops that big old boa in two while it was still putting the squeeze on mother and child.

If it wasn't MLW that told me this tall tale, there is no way that I am ever going to believe it, but considering it was-- I've got no other choice.

Talk about traumatic? Do you think the snake handler had something in the contract to cover something like this? Do you think the mother was responsible for paying the snake handler for the value of the snake? Do you think that boy will ever have another petting zoo at a birthday party-- or another birthday party, at all?

How do you one up that party? Alligators? Bull Fighting? Bungee Jumping of the roof of the house? Pistols at twenty paces? Kids' parties are getting out of hand!

Buy T-shirts. Peace.

I'm Not Easy... but I'm Cheap

2008-09-30T11:55:00.013-05:00

Today I sat in on a presentation about how the company I work for is "going green" with a more eco-friendly policy. Besides saving the earth's valuable resources, the new policy will reduce our energy bills and establish us as leading environmentalists in the industry. This, in turn, can produce additional revenue as eco-conscious customers look forward to doing business with companies that share similar beliefs. I know the decision-makers in the organization pretty well, having been associated with them for more than 15-years, so I have no doubt about their passion for "doing the right thing", but I am also sure that the additional revenue makes it a little easier to do it.

This was also my feeling when I bought our new car in 2006. If you would make it easy for me to do, I would get a lot of pleasure from reducing my carbon footprint. The main driving factor for the purchase of a hybrid vehicle, however, was the money I would save in the long run. Due to the steady and drastic increase in fuel costs the "long run" was shortened quite a bit.

I have forgotten most of the details but had it all worked out when I made my eco-friendly decision to buy the Toyota Prius-- the most fuel-efficient, standard hybrid car available at the time. Sure-- the upfront costs were a little higher but with the federal government tax credit the difference between this and similar, non-hybrids was minimal. In fact, I figured out that if I averaged 14,000 miles per year, I would make up the difference in less than 16 months.

Increases in prices at the pump brought that period of time closer to a year and further increases have allowed me to save, most recently, about $30-$35 per week. Through the life of the car, I have averaged almost 48 miles per gallon but on my last full tank, I reached the best milage yet, with 50.1 mpg. There are computer readouts in the dashboard that feed you all kind of information as you are on the road so you can really learn how to drive to get the best mileage. Factors like how you start and stop and if the air-conditioner is running make a huge impact in this automobile.

The Prius, in particular, has become very common on the roads but I still get a couple of questions a week about it. The main thing people ask is what kind of mileage I get and "How long can you go before you have to plug it in again?" I try to explain that it doesn't have a plug or need an electrical outlet, instead it has an gas engine that supplies power to the electronic engine that makes the car go. That's when they lose interest again so I go back to "50 miles per gallon" instead of how the braking system recharges the batteries.

The bottom line remains, if you can make it easy and inexpensive to do-- I will be as green as Kermit but it is, primarily, because I am cheap and, secondarily, worried about the environment. I can't and don't want to speak for others but, I would think, many would feel the same way.

I am happy to wear a sweater in the house in the winter and knock the heat down a few degrees to save a couple of bucks; or go through the trouble of separating my trash and put it recycling bins as long as the waste disposal company doesn't charge me extra to pick it up; and I am pleased (and you would be too) to use these cool canvass totes to haul groceries and such instead of paper or plastic, but ask me to spend too much time, money or effort and honestly I am going to conveniently forget about Mother Earth, most of the time.

I feel bad that I can't be more of a tree-hugger after seeing all of the evidence that we are destroying our planet in the presentation today. As a father now, one statement in particular, really hit home: We did not inherit the Earth from our parents... we borrow it from our children.

When you look at it in that perspective-- I figure, with as much as I will spend on my kids over a lifetime, I can afford to take a little credit out on their Earth. In addition, I know my kids, and probably their whole generation are going to be much, much smarter than me. Let them come up with a way to save the world-- I'm too old to make too much more of contribution than I already am in my little electric car.

Buy Tote Bags. Peace.

Monday Morning Quarterback 1.06

2008-09-29T11:49:00.010-05:00

Let's start off with some football talk today. The Scott Linehan era (or you could describe it as error) ended today in St. Louis. I saw a on-line poll that asked if this was a good idea. 78% of the respondents answered "yes", 19% said "it doesn't matter" leaving only 3% that thought he should remain as coach of the team... I didn't think he had that much family in town.

Personally, I don't really think it will make much of a difference this year. The team's problems go way deeper than the Head Coach's positions and, unless they are going to make some wholesale changes, I think it is going to be a long while before we see anything close to another Superbowl caliber team in here. It is a shame, though, as I went to the game yesterday and saw thirty-minutes of decent football being played... and then the Rams had to show up at the start of the second half.

Here's my notes from the weekend:

• Speaking of football, something needs to be done about the NFL's excessive celebration rule because it it too subjective for the referees to call. The Rams were penalized when Stephen Jackson pulled a "Lambeau Leap" into the stands after his first rushing touchdown of the season but the Bills Special Team's six-man, sausagefest, patty-cake, hug-party in the end zone after a kickoff touchback, of all things, was overlooked. Which celebration seems more excessive to you?

• On Saturday we took M3S to my nephew's birthday party at a place called SkyZone--a very cool place with basketball-sized courts covered from end-to-end with trampolines, some of which are not flat, but placed at 45-degree angles. The kids that worked there can do some pretty wicked stuff. I wish I could of given it a try but my (uh-emm) groin didn't allow that.

• Now that I have a three-year old and am lucky enough to attend all these birthday parties, I have some questions that need to be asked. Don't any kids have parties at home anymore? And if mine do, are none of their little friends going to want to come because there are no multi-million dollar facilities with enough dangerous equipment to seriously injure, not only every kid at the party, but several of the parents that are just standing around hoping that none of the other parents talk to them or semi-comatose 17-year-old hostesses licking her chubby, little fingers because they are smeared with icing off the cake that she was not supposed to touch, under any circumstances, even if you have gloves on?

• My folks had the Christmas catalogs at their house last week. Although I think it is a little early for this, as a cafepress shopkeeper, I can understand why the retail stores get them out early. I can't understand, however, how there are already pages folded over and toys circled in the books. Do the kids get ahold of them before we bring them into the house?

• Because I wrote about it last week, I'm not going to go into more depth about the economic bailout except to say, "Told you so."

• I heard that if the government took the money that is being spent on the bailout and divided it, equally, between adult Americans, it would come to almost $400,000 per person. I'm almost sure that this is an exaggeration but, even if it was $4,000, I think I would feel more comfortable with that money in my pocket, or on the wall of my living room, in the form of a high-definition, 68" flat-screen TV, than with the banks and borrowers that let us get in this situation.

• A big shoutout to my good friend Mona who I can't thank enough for introducing me to MLW and for reading the blog. We collaborated on a cute little design for her daughter, Maddie's (did I spell that right?) Sweet Sixteen. Happy Birthday, Kiddo!

• Word of the week that you haven't heard in twenty years and probably never used, yourself, because you would just, outright, curse instead: Jeepers!

• Funny cap: My Dixie Wrecked.

• Saw a news story, over the weekend, quoting a Chinese, 2000 Olympic medal-winner, Yang Yun, that the recent age controversy was caused be a slip of the tongue. Yes... she accidentally didn't lie about her age to a reporter... ooops!

• In another story about a recent survey of married couples, it was determined that it is the women in the relationship that make the "big decisions" in a ratio of 5:2 over the men. However the wives participating in the study thought their husbands were making those decisions 90% of the time. The husbands were confused, though, with only 9% of participants being able to correctly determine who was making the decisions in the household. Of the remaining 91%, 32% were wrong and, an amazing 59% were unsure-- apparently thinking their answer was a "big decision", in itself, and leaving it for their wife to answer.

I've got some more, including stuff on my attempt to save the environment and a buck with my hybrid car and a boa constrictor (this one can't be missed) but I'm thinking about doing full articles on them later in the week. With the economy being a big issue, as well as the local football saga and the Vice-Presidential debate going down in St. Louis on Thursday, it looks to be a busy week so, for now, I'm gonna say... Buy T-shirts. Peace... until tomorrow.

Let's Roll! 1.05

2008-09-25T21:06:00.006-05:00

I feel pretty darn stupid. I was supposed to bowl in the league tonight. I have been just terrible since the event but I expected to be better tonight because I have been seeing some improvement in the last few weeks and we were scheduled on lanes one and two tonight. I always bowl better on one and two and the games move along quicker because you only have to yield to the lanes on one side.

I think my excitement got the best of me because on my third practice frame I felt something pop on my approach. I wasn't doing anything weird or strenuous and didn't make any sudden moves or anything. I was just using my normal motion walking up to the line when was hit with a intense, sharp pain in my groin. I went ahead and followed through and, actually, rolled a pretty good ball, but that may have injured it more. I thought that I had it walked off, afterward, and tried to take another shot at it, but I was done for the night-- and maybe a few more weeks. Thanks to Bob for filling in for me.

Now I'm at home, sitting with a bag of frozen green beans in my crotch, watching the two-hour season premier of Survivor. It feels a lot better... as long as I don't move! Never again will I call a ballplayer a wimp for going on the IR with a groin injury.

I'm a tool-- let's roll.

YearbookYourself

This one is a classic. I have seen similar applications but this one is user-friendly and produces some pretty cool results. Upload a picture of yourself, or a friend, spend a minute or two to make some simple adjustments and in a matter of another few minutes you have an e-album of your own yearbook shots in the style of the pop-high school styles for every couple of years from 1950-2000.

It's all free, however it is sponsored by someone-- I just can't tell exactly who! Anyway, the ads don't interfere with a few minutes or so of fun.

Squidoo: Shermer High School

For anyone that doesn't know about Shermer High School-- you should. Shermer, Illinois is the fictitious community that was the setting for many of, director, John Hughes' films, in the 1980s, including Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Weird Science, and the number one high school movie of all time, The Breakfast Club.

This lens has been getting a tons of visitors in the last few weeks and features a ton of stuff about Shermer, the flicks, John Hughes and the 80s. Anyone that was in their teens at that time is going to be able to relate. Along with custom Shermer Bulldogs gear, you can find YouTube videos, as well as, DVDs and other unique items available for purchase.

Palin Baby Name Generator

I posted this in a column earlier in the week but I find it funny and, with McCain/Palin ticket all over the news lately, I thought it would merit another mention-- besides, I got nothing else and I want to go to bed because my groin hurts.

Sarah Palin has picked an All-American set of names for her children with, Track, Trig, Bristol, Willow and Piper. Ever wonder what your name would be if the Vice Presidential candidate was your mother? Now you can find out with this simple, free name generator.

You can call me Chap Poach Palin as long as you... buy T-shirts. Peace.

My Two Cents

2008-09-25T12:11:00.009-05:00

I am fortunate to work for a company that realizes the value of training their employees and supports the belief by providing opportunities to learn about work, home and life related issues. Part of the training program includes a speaker series that features business, industry and community leaders speaking on a variety of topics. Yesterday, I sat in on a session with, John Mozeliak, the General Manager of Major League Baseball's St. Louis Cardinals.

Mr. Mozeliak was very cordial and I was somewhat amazed at how down-to-earth he seem while holding a position that only 29 other people have in the whole world but every red-blooded, American boy, man or person, would give up their left arm for. I was also surprised at his relative youth and felt that I was listening to someone in my generation speaking as opposed to my Dad's generation-- possibly another indicator that I am getting old.

It was a very interesting and informative discussion for me, being a baseball fan, but I didn't see anyone in the room nodding off so I suppose even those that have indifferent feelings toward the sport enjoyed it to some degree. He went on for 20 minutes or so about how he was a salesperson and a manager, and tried to show some parallels between what he does and what we do-- a point that I had to differ with, to some degree, as he mentioned how his annual payroll budget was in the hundreds of millions of dollars and his performance reviews are daily and conducted by the national media.

Mr. Mozeliak, then impressed me by opening the floor for questions and answering in a straight-forward and casual manner. He handled some pretty tough questions from a few dedicated fans of our beloved Cards that had recently gone on an ugly losing streak and had all but been eliminated from the playoffs. I guess that he is used to getting a lot tougher questions, from a lot more difficult people, in a lot more hostile environments than from the 20 or so of us in the room.

I asked him if was still a fan of the game and if it was as fun as he thought it would be when he was a kid, now that it is, first and foremost, a business to him now. He gave me a good, solid answer and gave us an example of how it is sometimes hard to balance the two with a funny story about Ron Vallone. I wish I got a chance to ask him about the struggling economy and how he thought it was going to impact baseball.

I am no financial analyst or CPA, so much of the stuff that is going on right now is over my head, but even the average Cub Fan can tell you that if Americans start to go through some rough times, financially, the entertainment dollar is the first thing that gets eliminated from the family budget. This not only means sports, but movies, concerts, vacations and then things like cable or satellite TV, club memberships and video games.

It's just common sense that you get rid of the things that you can live without before the necessities like food and shelter and the Internet. I often whine in this blog that the younger generations have gotten lazy because things have become too easy and they haven't had to go through many challenges in their lifetime, but I think this time is different. We are in store for a very difficult situation in this country's economy-- the most difficult that we have seen in a long time, if not our lifetimes.

Did you ever ask, in High School or College, "Why do I have to learn History? How is this going to help me in the real world?" and had someone answer you with, "Those who do not learn from history, are bound to repeat it..." Maybe that's part of the problem. There are very few people left that remember what led up to the Great Depression and no one else did their studies.

I don't believe anyone is "putting partisan politics aside". I do think they want to solve this "grave economic crisis" but I think both the Republicans and the Democrats have their own agendas-- for goodness sake, people, we are 40-days away from the Presidential Election! (I have to take some time to write about the "terrorism-conspiracy-theory" in the next few weeks.) I am confident that we are going to make it through the next few years and eventually, this too, will all be history that we can forget, but we are probably going to experience some hard times along the way.

I think the politicians can be on the right track as long as they use a little common sense. I understand the need to use tax-payers money for a bailout of financial institutions, but it is ridiculous to think the dudes with the golden parachutes would get one dime of my hard earned dough-- they may have to dump the Summer Home, but Winter is coming anyway.

I also have a concern with comments about how we can't let working-families lose their homes to foreclosure. Let's face it-- for the past ten or so years we have been giving outrageous mortgages to individuals who "as long as everything went as planned and the stars aligned and we didn't hit any bumps in the road for the next say... 30 years, may-- let me emphasize-- may be able to afford their dream home..." Real life doesn't work like that!

I told my 20-year old nephew this only the other day, "Hope for the best, but plan for the worst," when we were discussing his grand plan to move out of his parents' place and into a rental. I was being sincere with the advise but I really doubt that he will follow it. He's got big ideas and can't have "the Man" holding him back. I really hope he is successful, but I bet he wont even begin to think of what he is going to do if he isn't.

Lack of common sense, overconfidence in ourselves and others, laziness, greed and fear seems to be the recipe for the soup that we've gotten ourselves into now and it is going to take a little time and a bunch of people blowing before it cools down enough for us to eat. OK, I'll admit that analogy was beyond stupid but I got on a roll and couldn't stop.

I don't know, for I am not in charge of a multi-million dollar budget or thousands of families' financial security-- though I feel a little sorry for those who are-- I am, merely, a simple artist, trying to make a buck or two and, possibly, make someone smile, or think, or feel good about themselves or someone else for a brief moment (so buy a T-shirt).

In the mean time I will continue to hope for the best and prepare for the worst. I suggest that you do the same.

Peace.