Monday Morning Quarterback 1.17

Although I spend about three-times as much time on the other articles, these quickie little Monday Morning Quarterback postings are getting all of the attention. The 17 collections of thoughts that I usually throw together during my Monday lunch hour have had more readers than the other 70 stories collectively, that sometimes take me many hours over several days to complete. This doesn't bother me because I enjoy either one as much as I do the other and I have learned, over the years, that a client (or your boss,or the public, or any end-user) doesn't care how much time you put into something. They are only concerned with the end product and if they like it or not. In fact, I will put as much effort into a project as is needed, but I usually start with a "less is more" philosophy because if the end product is the same no matter how much  you put into it you might as well save that extra energy.

Note to all you men out there however: you can throw this whole concept out the window if your wife is the person making the request. Here are my notes from the week:

• Being from St. Louis and a Rams season ticket holder, I have seen a lot of mixed emotions in this town about the Superbowl this year. Most people love Kurt Warner on one hand and, I think, most dislike the Cardinals and their ownership on the other. Either way, it is really a great story and, I hope, it will be a great game.

• A couple of times, while hearing reports on the plane crash landing in the Hudson River last week, I heard correspondents corrected when they said Canadian Geese. Apparently, the proper name of the bird is Canada Geese. I'm not sure if it was the Canadians or the geese, but one of the groups was upset (I guess they didn't want to be blamed for bringing down that plane) and was sure to make a point of it.

• In similar news, in order to be certain to not accuse any other countries of involvement in accidents with non-resident subjects, we will refer to so-called subjects in the non-possessive vernacular. For instance: France Toast, Germany Potato Salad, India Giver, Brazil Wax and Poland Sausage. 

• Just to remind me of how soon our little baby boy will be here, MLW's cousin went into labor two-weeks early on Saturday. Welcome Olivia Joy. On our way to visit baby and Mom, my wife mentioned that M3S and she could marry because they are forth-cousins but I quickly convinced her that these families are already screwed-up enough to start messing with the gene pool any more than we already have.

• Talk around the Sunday Dinner table last night (after we were finished eating) turned to babies and deliveries and C-sections and stuff. The only one at the table that had not been through a birth but was still able to understand what we were discussing was my 22-year-old niece, who commented, "I wish we could just throw them up!" As freaky of an experience natural birth was-- and I wasn't even the one having the baby-- her idea may be even more bizarre.

• My Mom thinks I should write a book called Sunday Dinner. I explained to her that I am basically doing that by writing in this blog. I think she would enjoy reading it but she refuses to own a computer... or fly in a plane.

• Barrack Obama's Inauguration price-tag is somewhere around $150 million for four-days of events with 1.5 to 3 million attendees. This is more than three-times the amount that was spent for the most recent Bush bash and more than five-times the amount for Clinton's first-term inauguration bill. I don't feel like messing with the math but I think that is a more expensive ticket than the Superbowl... and I would think the taxpayer is taking care of the bill. Where are our priorities?

• I understand that they are re-naming Delmar in our fair city-- Barrack Obama Boulevard. This for a man that has not served a day in the presidential office yet. You would think that the St. Louis planning commission would have learned their lesson from when they named a stretch of I-70-- Mark McGwire Highway, only to have the muscle-bound slugger lay an egg in the Congressional hearings on steroid abuse in baseball.

• Do not try this at home... or anywhere else for that matter... and don't read this one if you have a weak stomach. I recently heard of a disgusting (even by my standards) practice young people have been participating in order to get high. They actually poop in a bag, let it ferment for a while and then snort the fumes produced. What is the world coming to? We did some pretty stupid things as kids for some pretty stupid reasons, but none even close to this stupid! I have a real hard time believing this one because if someone asked me to come up with the most gross, disgusting, stupid thing in the world, I would have a hard time thinking this up. Why can't they use this energy and experimentation with methane gases to develop alternative fuel choices-- if your going to play with poop-- it should at least be for a good cause.

• Similarly, I can't believe that their is a certain frequency that only humans under the age of 18 can hear and that they are making ring tones in these frequencies for the kids' cel phones. I believe that this is a giant conspiracy that has gone mainstream with stories on the national network newscasts. Millions and millions of kids across the globe are laughing at all the big dumb adults behind our backs. It is like a giant 21st-Century snipe hunt.

• I was looking at my niece's friend's and my sister's pierced noses yesterday and noticed something peculiar (I mean something besides the fact that my sister is 41-years old and has her nose pierced)-- their piercings were on opposite sides. I thought this might be another one of those things that I didn't know about because I was old but, because my sister too was old, this may be my opportunity to get an honest answer and I asked what was the significance of the locations. She gave me some long drawn out explanation of how a young girl of Indian descent told her that her mother told her about the meanings in ancient India and it turns out that there is no difference in the meanings of piercings on the left or right side of the nose... they both mean that you're a hussy.

Oh well. Read this. Buy T-shirts. Peace.

Monday Morning Quarterback 1.16

When we weren't busy with other things this weekend we were preparing for the new baby's arrival. The due date is still almost six-weeks out but MLW's cousin, who is also expecting, was sent to the hospital almost three-weeks early. She didn't have the baby, however, she was put on modified bed rest and will probably go this week. 

It's not that we won't be able to get by if our new Son would like to show sometime in the next couple of weeks... I'm not going to be that ready if he shows in July. Mentally, I am about as prepared as I am going to get and I would just like a little more time to get the house ready.

I am almost sure that we now have more baby and toddler clothes than my wife's and my wardrobes combined. As my wife went through and sorted them into piles by size-- 0-3 months, 3 months, 3-6 months, 6 months and so on and so on-- I worked on, finally, converting our home office into M3S's permanent room. We were very lucky that we are having another boy, this time around, as it has made the preparation much easier and much less expensive than if we had to re-decorate, re-organize and re-buy everything for a little girl.

I think my wife and I were pretty satisfied with the progress that we made and that is a rare occasion when we are both happy with such a project. We still need to paint some rooms and build a bed for M3S, but that doesn't need to be done before the stork drops-off our special delivery. I will write in more detail about the anticipation of the new arrival to our family in the coming weeks but, for now, here's the notes from the weekend:

• As my Son and I dug through the tangled mess in his toy-box, we sorted into boxes labeled: GOOD, BABY, DONATE and TRASH. When we were finished we found a place for stuff in the GOOD pile and, neatly, put it away; we sealed up the BABY box and put it in storage until his little brother is old enough to play with it; we gave the DONATE stuff to the "poor kids" and we threw out the TRASH. I was proud of the little guy because he did let me talk him into getting rid of some of his stuff even though I could tell by the look on his face that it was breaking his heart to give most of it up. I had to remember that as we were sorting through my stuff in the office. It made him feel better, though, because my boxes were labeled: GOOD, BUDDY, DONATE, TRASH. It is amazing how some of my old junk can bring joy to a three-year-old's face.

• Baby-proofing a house is very similar to how we used to party-proof a house when we used to have a blow-out when a friend's parents were out of town... except it is much harder on the knees.

• There is never a shortage of good things said about a person at his or her funeral but I have never, in my life, heard so many good things about a man than at the funeral we attended Saturday. For the sake of privacy, I won't mention any names but I would like to say I hope that when I go, I will have half as many people say half as many nice things about me.

• The National Safety Council is trying to get a nation-wide cel-phone ban for automobile drivers because of the evidence that mobile phone use increases the chance of being in an accident four-times. Okay-- you have finally convinced me... Seriously... I agree... Ban them. Okay, now can you do something to ban idiots, morons and asses from driving?

• I have an idea-- onion-free onion-rings-- onion-frings! and I think I have developed a way to make them. This could be my million-dollar idea.

• Three of four of the visiting-dogs won their NFL Playoff games this week-- that's parity for you. The National Football League is the most well-run organization in professional sports, even with the problems that they are having with the officials blowing calls.

• I will be the first to admit that I was a Kurt Warner basher. When he came back to the Rams after his broken finger, I thought he was done and, although he had a few incredible years, I thought he would just fade away after holding the clipboard for some young stud QB, never to be mentioned on SportsCenter again. Not only did I write him off but, I would be willing to bet, a good majority of football fans were with me. How wrong were we? Next Sunday, a bunch of those fans will be sitting in front of TV rooting on Warner as he will try to take the Arizona Cardinals to their first (his third) Superbowl. His is just an amazing story of perseverance that you almost have to root for him! When he came on to the scene, Sports Illustrated, did a cover story on him titled, "Who IS This Guy?" There is going to be a lot of similar questions if he leads his team in a home win against the Eagles next week. I don't usually do this but I am jumping on Warner's bandwagon because I now admire his work... and the Rams suck, Green Bay isn't much better, Favre is done for the season (or for good... or for the season... or for good...) and there is no other team left that I really care for at all.

• After Let's Roll 1.10, I put together a new Squidoo page: How to Tight Roll Your Pants-- check it out! You can create your own Squidoo page on anything you want! It's fun, free and easy!

• I got new shoes of the weekend. I've got two-words for you VEL CRO... Sure I look like I'm 73 instead of 43, (MLW even noticed that in the advertisement for the shoes the guy in the picture isn't even wearing them!) but they are super-comfortable (I wear out before my feet do), convenient (both-- on and off in 7.2 seconds... I timed it) and, most importantly, in these tough economic times, cheap ($11-- no holler)! I'm out.

Read this. Buy T-shirts. Peace.

Best of 2008

I started writing this blog on July 17 and have since published 90 articles, to date. I wrote a few more that the general public did not see for one reason or another, and have several more in the hopper, for a rainy day, in various stages of completion. For all intent and purposes then, I have written over 100 stories, or about a post in 2 out of every 3 days, for the last six-months.

That's a lot but, when I began, I thought I would write something every day. Less than two-weeks in however, I realized I wasn't going to be able to keep that pace. After all, I do have a life with a day job, a Son and pregnant wife, a bowling league, two gaming systems and a couple of friends that I like to keep up with from time to time. Besides, to try to write more often I would really have to stretch the limits of the topics I am truly interested in and that would quickly get boring for me and the few regular readers that I do have.

No... I am pretty happy with the volume of articles that I have been posting; I am very happy that I am having fun doing this; but what is most surprising to me, is that I'm not too, terribly bad at it either. This is only my humble opinion and, in the past, I would never consider myself a writer but you'll have to admit there is a lot worse stuff out there on the Internet and a lot worse ways for you or me to spend the amount of time it takes to read or write it.

As I was looking back on the year and the postings in this blog, I wanted to do something to review the Best of 2008. I couldn't do a straight Top Ten or something because there are so many different types of entries that I would have a hard time choosing, so I just went through and picked the ones that I thought had some kind of merit and started to list them for what they were worth. 

I don't expect anyone to sit and read through them all but, if you are visiting for the first time, this will give you a good idea of how we roll. If you have been here before, it may highlight something that you missed or something that you like but forgot about. This is what I came up with:

Best Way to Make a Big Announcement... The Big Question

I would have picked How to Announce Your Expecting (A Baby) but absolutely no one was reading my blog at the time except MLW and she already knew she was pregnant so there wasn't much of an impact.

Best Post for a Good Cause... Beat It, Beat It, Beat It

Here again, I could have gone with I Survived A Major Brain Injury... but it was an earlier article that no one read. I think it was a few weeks later that I really hit a good stride and built some rhythm into my stories. A lot of it had to do with opening up and having the courage to write what I really felt instead of just trying to sell a T-shirt. The story about Tocco helped me do that.

Best Idea That Just Didn't Catch On... Jonah's Brothers Tour T-Shirts

I thought this was so clever. Obviously, the world didn't agree with me. An honorable mention goes to All You Need Is Love. It wasn't as good of an idea but just as many people "got it"-- none.

Best Surprise That It Did Catch On... A Trip to the Land of the Lost

I had no idea that anyone ever watched this show and really didn't expect much interest at all but have gotten a ton of visits from the posting. If I didn't have the sleestack design, I could say the same thing about What Did the Headless Horseman Say to Frankenstein, but I do so I can't.

Best Self Help Article... How to Quit Smoking Overnight

I wouldn't recommend it for everyone but if you are really desperate...

Best Instructional Post... I'm an Excellent Driver

Ohh... please don't get me started!

Best Political Comment... What Is A Bellwether State?

Thank God we don't have to deal with that again for another four or eight years.

Best Spiritual Story... From the Bottom of My Heart

I planned on reading this during the Thanksgiving Sharing Service at church but was almost sure I would chicken out at the last minute. Somehow I worked up the courage to do it in front of the whole congregation. It went over pretty well and I felt great afterward-- Who would've thought? 

Best List... The Twelve Days of Christmas Specials

I'm starting to like this list format. This was the first one I did and I like it but wish I would've included links to each one as I did in America's Top 40: Christmas.

Best Use of Sarcasm... When I Was Your Age...

There is not enough sarcasm in the world today.

Best Post That Required A Lot of Research... What's In Your Name?

Took me a few days to put this one together-- last time I'll do that.

Best "Let's Roll"... 1.07

MLW hates these but, even she will admit, the Halloween Edition was a real Thriller!

Best "You Gotta Be Kidding Me"... 1.01

This one still freaks me out every time I hear it and they are still claiming it's true!

Best Response... Things That I Learned in 2008

MLW liked this article so much that she forwarded it to everyone in her address book. I think we, directly or indirectly, heard comments from every one of those kind folks. Thanks.

Best Issue That I Would Most Like to See Go Viral... It Only Seems Fair

You can help! Read this and forward to anyone you know that visits a chiropractor, anyone who knows someone in chiropractic treatment or anyone else who may be interested in joining the cause.

Best Post... Memories of "The Lot"

It's just my opinion but, then again, the whole thing is my opinion so if I say it is the best... it's the best.

That's the best I can narrow it down. I can't imagine how tough it will be to do this next year when there is a whole year's posts to consider. I think the articles are getting better as I go so as long as I can keep coming up with decent subject matter, 2009 should be looking good.

Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for reading. Buy T-Shirts. Peace.

Monday Morning Quarterback 1.15

Happy New Year! What is today-- the 5th already? It is real easy to lose track of time on these four-day-weekends. I never feel that I get enough done or have enough fun during that time, either. We were awfully busy, though, so here are the notes from the week:

• Working in a city like St. Louis, with a large percentage of African-Americans, Catholics and Americans, you would think that we would be off for Dr. Martin Luther King Day, Good Friday or President's Day but we don't have another holiday until Memorial Day. 

• I would be interested to know if the rate of heart attack is higher in the first week of the New Year because out-of-shape individuals try to fulfill their year-long resolutions to get fit in four-days. There must have been three times the regular number of people at the gym this morning and, from the looks of things, a few of them were not going to make it through to Wednesday. I didn't have to perform mouth-to-mouth on anyone but it may have been a different story if one guy didn't pull a hammy or that lady didn't blow out her knee.

• You can partially blame seasonal depression on lack of sunlight but, I believe, more of it has to do with transitioning from the joyous, active, event-filled, holiday season to January and February, when the best thing you have to hope for is... March.

• We have not had that bad of a Winter, yet, here in the Mid-West. If you are looking for snow you will have to wait until four-six-hours before MLW goes into labor for the really deep stuff-- with a 46-mile trip to the hospital... you can count on it.

• The one good thing about this time of year is that it is Trivia Night Season. If you are as excited as I am visit How to Win a Trivia Night and give add your input.

• Wii is just what it Nintendo markets it as-- a really good way for families to play games together... even for the kids and Mom. The motion sensing remotes are pretty cool, but for serious gamers I still recommend Xbox360.

• The cymbals for the RockBand drum kit are pretty much just for show as they just replace the corresponding drum pad, but they are fun to crash. What I really want to try is the mufflers that reduce the amount of sound produced when you hit the pads with the stick. If they work, why don't they just modify the drum set that comes with the game to include them as standard? It would inexpensively improve the quality of the game greatly.

• The over/under of when I will last write 2008 when I mean to write 2009 is May 11.

• The first time that I will have to choose between MLW and M3S is coming up this Summer. My Son asked, yesterday, if he could have his next Birthday Party at the place that his cousin had his and my Wife has his and his unborn brother's parties planned until they are 14. There is nothing in those plans about going to the "jumpy place".

• I have been trying to prepare M3S's room for when the new baby will take over the nursery and had the bright idea on Saturday to build him a new bed. It told me right on the Website that I could do it, and I believed it. My Dad built my brother and I a circus cage bunk bed when we were little with bars and everything so I have asked for his help. I will give updates on how the project is going and post pictures when/if it is complete.

• I have realized that I miss a whole lot more than just the company gossip by not smoking anymore. This time of year you come in before dawn and leave after dusk. In a building with no windows, if you don't leave for lunch, it can be days before you see the sun.

• A nice December shopping season has definitely made SkeetzTeez a success! Now that the holidays are over, however, sales have been less than impressive. Except for the occasional interest in my adult designs, almost all of my sales have been the Big Brother or Big Sister shirts. Because, it seems, that there are so many pregnant women that like my designs, I am working on an expanded maternity section with the intent on opening a shop for new baby families only!

• I have gotten a lot of great comments on my blog in recent weeks that I would like to thank my readers for the kind words. I have gone back and re-read some of my older entries and will publish The Best of 2008 later in the week with my favorites. I hope you will enjoy them!

• I love to hear your feed back! (Even if it isn't always, totally, positive.) Please respond to the articles and tell me what you think!

Read This. Buy T-Shirts. Peace.

What A Long, Strange Trip: 2008

I suppose, now that I have a blog, I am not going to be able to get through 2008 without doing some kind of Year In Review type of article. I thought I would be excited to put this one together but, for some reason, I can't seem to get in the right mood. I have started writing several times only to abandon the story partially done or scrapping the whole thing and starting over.

Most of the reason that I don't want to write a 2008 Review is that everybody does one-- not only bloggers but all kinds of Internet, print and broadcast sources will produce their lists of the most, least, best, worst and biggest person, places and things of the year. In addition, I want my articles to be real... but not too real. Not that I am lying to anyone out there but I don't feel the need to tell complete strangers (and some other acquaintances) my most intimate thoughts and every personal feeling. I am, however, enjoying that I get to write about interesting topics, funny stories and a important cause or two and get a kick out of the fact that, at least some, other people are reading the stuff.

Therefore, I am going to try, again, to do my 2008 Year In Review and, maybe, by Wednesday, I will have something ready that I am comfortable enough sharing with the rest of the world... or the very small number of individuals that find it.

2008 started out at home for us. We are not really a big party-type of family anyway and, with a two-year old running the house, we like to be as close to home as possible most of the time, but especially on amateur night. It was fun! We invited some friends (and their kids) over, played video games, ate munchies and enjoyed each others' company.

Having had a stroke just five-weeks earlier and, basically, being paralyzed on the right half of my body, it was amazing that I was able to do that much. I was in therapy every day I could get it from November 28 through the end of the year. We had to get as many visits in 2007 as possible to submit to the insurance companies and they couldn't work me hard enough as I figured that was the only way I was going to improve. We did see some improvement almost every day! It wasn't always dramatic progress, but it was almost every day.

By Christmas I could walk well enough to get around without the cane or any other aides. I could hold a drumstick with a modified grip on New Years but it was very difficult to keep up with my friends on Rock Band. MLW talked all of our guests into writing down their resolutions so she could mail them as a reminder in six-months but I was just starting to be able to write and it wasn't very legible so I just kept mine to myself.

I had already made a remarkable recovery and wanted my resolution to be a tribute to that. Without going into too much detail, then, I can tell you that I promised myself to do everything I could to be a better man than I was before the stroke. I wanted to work hard to be stronger physically, but it meant much more to me than that. I can get a little more into this later but, for now, let's leave it with... I wanted to be sure that what should be important was more important than what wasn't and I didn't want to waste my time with things that were unimportant.

There was a tremendous amount of progress made in the month of February. My therapists started dropping me, starting with my PT and then, although I was still having a difficult time speaking, my speech therapist. Most of my large motor skills had returned and, while I worked by myself to build strength in them, I still visited my OT for couple of hours a day, several days a week to work on my small motor skills. I was extremely anxious to be released to drive again because, although I was not looking forward to getting back to the daily grind, I had to get out of the house.

The first week in March I finally passed my drivers' test and was able to do exactly that, followed by going back to work at the beginning of the third week. Looking back, this was probably two-to-four weeks early as I was having a very hard time getting back into the swing of things. I did, however, begin to rid myself of some of the worthlessness that I had been feeling in the previous 13-weeks as I was a little less of a burden on my family and friends-- especially my wife, who was incredibly gracious, helpful, merciful, kind and understanding through the whole ordeal.

I made such a remarkable recovery that the doctors said I could only use the stroke as an excuse for a year. I used every last minute of that time but, for the sake of this blog post, we will leave off of it here in April. I think I am still recovering a little bit every day. I notice it most in my speech and endurance-- the two things that are effected most by the severe fatigue I was feeling as my brain shut down all other bodily functions in order to save energy so that it could heal faster. 

I had said from the beginning, part in jest-- part for real, that I only wanted to recover 99% so that I would always have a reminder of the event and the important lessons that I learned from it. I don't really find it odd, therefore, that the only real pain that I ever had was in my pinkie finger, of all things, and if you didn't know that I had a stroke, I'm sure that you couldn't tell, but that finger still hurts like it did the first day. Be careful what you wish for.

In May things started heating up... and I am not talking about the weather. MLW and I celebrated our our forth Anniversary with a date night. I really can't say enough good things about my wife. Before we met, I couldn't imagine me being married and having a family-- now, I can't even start to imagine what my life would be like if I wasn't lucky enough to have her-- but trust me... it would not be pretty. I am saying all of these things right now because she is so kind that she is one of the few people that regularly read my blog even though she doesn't always like it and I don't tell her (or show her) how much she means to me often enough.

This was also the month that I made some decisions about my life, the direction that it was going, and the goals that we wanted to achieve. Here, again, without getting into a lot of detail this is not going to make a lot of sense and I am not going to get into a lot of detail but let me say this... for now-- you have to have goals.

Some of my goals had to do with getting back to my roots-- doing art for arts' sake and because it was fun like I did when I was young. So in June I set out on a quest to find a more creative outlet than the corporate (par-done mi French) crap that I had to knock out at the office every day. I found this outlet in SkeetzTeez-- a cafepress shop featuring T-shirts and other gift items with unique, custom designs imprinted on them. Although this was filling that creative void that I was feeling, at least to some point, there was still something missing but all that would have to wait because...

I don't know if it was the date night or not but on the Forth of July, M2S got to tell all of our family his secret, "Mamma's got a baby in her tummy"! The rest of the world found out shortly after that because I was just so excited that I couldn't keep it a secret. In fact, this was the subject of my second blog post on the 17th of the month. I started the blog to help promote the SkeetzTeez shop and also created several lenses on Squidoo for the same purpose. If you have followed the blog, you already know more detail than I am going to be able to give you in this review but, please, feel free to continue through the rest of the year.

In August, our two-year-old Son became M3S. That kid means so much to me! He really is my best friend, my inspiration for doing everything that I have to do and my joy just to carry on. I don't know if it is just his age, that I got to spend a lot more quality time with him since I was not working, or that I usually have to sleep with him in his bed because Mamma's pregnant, but we have become so much closer this year. Not to get into the stroke thing again but, just to let you know how the recovery was going, at his birthday party, I climbed up on the roof and held up a 35-pound pinata in a pirate costume (me not the pinata) so a bunch of delinquents could beat on it with a Wiffleball bat.

I also wrote about auditioning for the church worship group in this month. Update: I made it! I have been singing at least once a month since then. I really, really like this church because I feel like we are all contributing to the community and we have been accepted into it. There are several changes that are upcoming that, I hope, will make the group stronger rather than weaker in the next year.

Most of September was spent on the Internet trying to learn all of the tricks of the trade to promote T-shirt sales. Overall, I think I did pretty good. In addition to the blog and Squidoo, I got involved with other social networking applications like Twitter and, eventually, Facebook. Besides getting somewhat proficient at most of the programs, I also got involved with and even lead a few groups to cross-promote members' cafepress shops. The way I look at it: if someone is going to buy someone else's stuff over mine, they would have probably done it any way. We might as well team up so every potential customer sees as many different designs as possible. Some shopkeepers agree with that philosophy-- others think I'm nuts.

October was a big month as I celebrated my 43rd Birthday, that I honestly thought that I would never see by learning that our second-(and probably last)born was going to be a son (Gabriel, I think). This brought about mixed feelings, as I wrote about at the time, but in the long run, I am so happy that I could just (par-done mi French, again) dance! This is also about the time that I started my crusade to inform everyone I could about the dangers of chiropractic stroke. I know... your tired of hearing about it, so I won't get into it... just remember... read this!

The presidential election took place in November-- finally! After three-and-a-half years of campaigning with such a disappointing outcome, I'm sick and tired about talking politics. I had more important things to address! With the Anniversary of my brain attack looming, I was reminded by my pinkie, of my resolution. Although, my attention had shifted to the probability of it being caused by chiropractic manipulation, I was still letting myself down by not fulfilling the promises that I made myself. Time to, among other things, get back to the gym and get a better overall attitude.

I have been doing better in December, but there is still much room for improvement and I am looking forward to 2009. I intentionally left my resolution a little vague last year and that is against all of the rules for goal making. I need to be more specific next year. Overall, though, I think this year has been a great one and, more importantly, I have made it through the 2008 Year In Review. Reading back through it, I don't like it but... I'm still going to publish because I took all of this time to write it.

I'm about halfway through with another one from a different angle, however. Maybe tomorrow I will try to finish that one up and post it: Things I Learned in 2008? If not... write to you next year! In the mean time... Happy New Year. Read this. Buy T-shirts. Peace.

Only Nine More Shopping Days 'Til Christmas

How can I be so ready for Christmas and so not ready for Christmas at the same time? There comes a point in the holiday season when that Christmas Spirit just kicks in-- everyone is a little more joyous and friendly and everything is a little more laid back and easy going-- but I haven't felt that change happen yet this year. It has begun to look like Christmas, but I just don't feel it.

It can't be because of the weather as we have been having sort of the classic Mid-West Winter with periods of ice, snow and frigid temperatures. Anyone that has spent a Holiday Season North of the Mason-Dixon line knows that the beautiful, starlit, snow-covered landscape that is found on Christmas Cards and December calendar pages is all a fantasy. In reality, those scenes only last 15-minutes until the plows come by and spread melting chemical and turn everything into a dirty, gray slush that splatters everywhere and sticks and freezes to everything.

Maybe it's because of the economy. Not that people are not shopping, because it truly is a nightmare out there at the malls... and even worse at the discount stores. I think WalMart is trying to cut expenses by manning only a small percentage of checkout lanes for all of those manic shoppers looking for the ultimate deal. They have increased the number of Self-Checkout lanes, though, but that doesn't do much good if you are stuck in line behind anyone that was born before the invention of bar codes-- they don't know what they are, how they work, or were to find them on the package. That is why they are at the store shopping instead of doing the smart thing and getting all of their gifts at SkeetzTeez.

Target seems to be in the same boat. I don't think there are more shoppers but the lines are, certainly, longer. I witnessed a poor girl working in electronics loose her mind over the weekend. She was huddled in the center of the island-like service desk, desperately trying to flag down some help on her walkie-talkie, while being bombarded with requests and questions from all directions. After several rejections from the automatic switchboard operator she threw up her arms, unlocked and opened all of the glass display cases containing the expensive cameras and video games, and left. I felt sorry for her as she abandoned her post but then I had to laugh as several of the shoppers followed her, grabbing the kids and pushing their carts full of bargain merchandise and trying to keep up with the escaping attendant.

Maybe it is because of work. Last year I was out of work-- in rehab because of the stroke-- and it felt like Christmas from Thanksgiving. Yesterday I was talking with a couple of co-workers at lunch and they agreed, too-- we can't wait for December 24! When you really think about it, work is all about the things that Christmas is not about-- the bottom line, making the sale, money (Okay, work is about things that Christmas is not supposed to be about). I know that some companies try to endorse Christmas Spirit but, in this economy, that's hard and businesses are tightening their belts and cutting the fat.

I truly hope that I can teach M3S about what Christmas is all about. He is so smart that he is at a stage that he is asking and learning about things that I am not ready for him to know. Because of that, I think we have to start teaching him what we want him to learn now-- before he picks it up on his own. MLW and I often find ourselves asking each other, "Where did he learn that?" Most of it is good so we can assume we are doing well or, at least, surrounding him with good people that are doing well, but we have to be careful and stay on top of things.

He took part in his first Christmas program at church last week. It was only a few songs in the chorus, but at three-years-old what do you expect? He really did a great job, too, when he wasn't playing air guitar or laying on the ground. As I was standing in the back of church trying to hold the video camera still and as high as I could to avoid a frame full of the the back of people's heads, a lady noticed M3S's shenanigans and said, "Oh, he's so cute!" Yes-- it's cute now, but just wait three or four years. I'm willing to bet if he is still pulling those stunts then she's going to have some other four-letter words for him besides "cute".

The whole production was written by a lady at church and told the Christmas Story through a candy cane, of all things. She really did a great job because it taught M3S that we give gifts at Christmas because the three "wise guys" (Greg, Frankenstein and Merv) brought gifts to the baby Jesus. When I let him loose in the store to pick out a present for his Mama he kept grabbing stuff and asking, "Is this in the Bible?"

I worry that he is going to be a good boy when he grows up but, with comments like that, I find it hard to believe that he will be anything but good. His little brother, however, I know is going to be another story. I have a strong feeling that we are going to be in big trouble with him because people say siblings are often on different ends of the personality spectrum. I have no complaints about this one so I bet the second is going to be a handful.

I've still got a few months to prepare but there are only nine more shopping days to Christmas! I have to quit writing now and do a little last-minute e-shopping at SkeetzTeez.

Merry Christmas. Read this. Buy T-shirts. Peace.

Monday Morning Quarterback 1.11

I really should change the name of this weekly post to Tuesday Morning Quarterback or something because I think it has been a month since I published on a Monday. I don't know if it is that I am too busy because of the time of year and all of the stuff that's been going on or if it is that I am getting a little bored and I haven't made it a priority to write when I do have the time.

Spare time is always hard to find around the holidays but this year I'm going to take advantage of the technology and use the internet to handle most of my shopping chores. From the looks of the reports on my Website, many other smart consumers are doing the same.

Top Five keywords that resulted in visits to SkeetzTeez or SkeetzTeez blog:

5. land of the lost

4. stroke-chiropractor

3. suck for a buck

2. trivia

1. schweddy balls

Top five designs sold at SkeetzTeez:

5. Smallville Athletic Department

4. Suck It Trebeck

3. Charlestown Chiefs/Slapshot

2. I'm Cute

1. Big Brother/Big Sister

I have neglected the shop lately, hardly adding any new designs yet I have quite a few concepts started that I need to knock out before Thanksgiving so I can be included in the Holiday gift-giving rush. It is encouraging to see some interest in designs other than the political and baby stuff though. Many of my ideas are a little obscure but I am banking on there being enough interested customers out there, if I can just get the exposure on the shop so they can see what I have to offer.

If you know any of these, so-called, interested customers, forward this blog or tell them about my WebShop or, even better, just buy the gift and give it to them for Christmas! Here's the notes from the weekend:

• When I first opened the shop, I thought that most of my business would be from customers that requested custom designs for one or a few T-shirts but it was awfully easy to just throw a design up on the site and see who would buy it. I did, however, complete my first special order last week for a friend of MLW who is participating in a Walk for Breast Cancer. If you need a special event design-- just drop me a line.

• I'm a poet and don't know it.

• Christmas shopping for M3S has been made very simple this year as he has so eloquently informed me that all he wants is... everything-- every toy he sees on TV, in catalogs, at the mall and in some other kid's dirty little mitts.

• Is it normal for three-year-olds to know the word humungous and use it correctly in a sentence?

• Trivia is still a top keyword that is driving visitors to my Websites. I'm not sure why because I rarely write about trivia, but we have taken home two-firsts and one-second in the last three Trivia Nights we have competed in.

• My 20-year-old nephew's 19-year-old girlfriend said she has cleared upwards of $850 a day waiting tables at Hooters. You have to come up with your own punch line for this because there are just too many ways I can get myself in trouble with this one.

• Just for kicks, I was helping my fourth-grade niece with her Geography homework on Sunday. The first question was, "What is the capital of Washington, D.C.?" Who is checking the teacher's work?

• Unless your going to plan on making a career out of the military or as a travel agent, Geography is pretty much useless-- made that way by easy access to MapQuest and portable GPS units.

• If the feds are going to bailout the big-three automakers now, what's next? You can come up with your own punch line here too. I didn't mean it to be a joke... but it is.

• I can't imagine how one gets poison ivy this late in the year after more than one hard frost when all of the plants should be dead but, somehow, I managed to get a doozy of a batch. Pray that it doesn't get in my nook and crannies.

• It is going to be a tight race and come right down to the wire to determine if the Rams or our Fantasy Football team sucks more this year.

• My 22-year-old niece was finally convinced that I may "have something" with my theory that the stroke was caused by chiropractic treatment after seeing a video of a woman in Canada that had a similar story. Now that I have most (but not yet all) of the family on the bandwagon, I'm coming after you! Read my story, It Only Seems Fair, and then visit my Squidoo page, Stroke-Chiropractors to see all of the evidence for yourself!

• If you have a cause or even just an interest that you would like to get the word out about, Squidoo is an excellent, easy, free vehicle to do so.

• I'm sure glad Mimi is alright. Yes-- for her sake, but also Nanu's. He's a tough guy but I don't think he would get along very well without her.

• Can't say it enough... tell the people you love, that you love them... now!

No... I really mean it! Stop reading this blog and and call your Mom, Dad, Grandparents, Brother, Sister or anybody else that you care about, and tell them how you feel; step away from the computer and give your Wife, Husband, Girl or Boyfriend a kiss; find your kids and give them a big hug and then spend a few moments playing or talking with them because a time will come when you won't be able to do these things-- and I don't want you to blame me that you didn't take the time when you had the chance...

Then come back here and Read this. Buy T-shirts. Peace.

Who's the fat guy talking to Mark?

A good friend posted some pictures of our visit to the pumpkin patch on Facebook. I was going through them looking for shots of my Son in the vast sea of children (most of them hers), not recognizing anyone until I caught a glimpse of her husband in the crowd. My first thought was, "Who's the fat guy talking to Mark?" but on closer inspection I realized it was me... I thought he looked familiar!

I made the mistake of standing, nakee, in front of the mirror on Friday. At home I know where the full-lengths are strategically located and I make it a habit not to get caught in front of one, but we stayed in a hotel this weekend and I wasn't paying attention. I woke up from an afternoon nap and dropped my clothes on the floor before darting into the bathroom for a shower and spun right into a full-frontal. I think it would be safe for me to say that you can ask anyone that knows me and they would say I am anything but vane, however, this was not a pretty sight.

What I saw made me disgusted to think that, not a year earlier, I stood in front of a mirror looking at a body that was mostly crippled on one side, promising myself that, if I regained my strength and coordination, I was not going to fall back into the bad habits that allowed me to get out of shape. I, honestly, don't know what happened. Although, I haven't been a fitness fanatic, I am still eating ten times better than I was before the stroke and working out more often also, yet I have gained more weight in the last 12 months than I have in any period in my life.

I have cut the salt, the fat, and the carbs and, as a result (and with the added help of some really good meds) I have brought down my blood-pressure and my cholesterol to acceptable levels but even with the additional exercise, I am still not losing-- and sometimes even gaining, pounds. My first thought was that the medications could be contributing to my difficulties, but nothing I have read would lead me to believe that any of them would cause a problem.

I tried to blame some of the weight on sympathy gain because my wife is pregnant with our second child. I could believe that was the problem until my sympathy gain exceeded her actual weight gain and M3S exclaimed that Dada was going to have a big baby when he understood that Mama's belly was getting big because it had a baby growing in it.

I know that some people pack on the poundage when they quit smoking but I would have a very hard time using this as an excuse considering I quit overnight with the only ill-effect being that I was tired all of the time. I continued to lose weight for the first three or four months afterward so I don't think the delayed nicotine withdrawal argument is going to fly.

My wife tends to think that it is all because of my age. 43 is not what I would consider old now, though, 25-30 years ago I certainly would. If I can't use my lost youth as a legitimate explanation for the stroke-- I can't use it for a good reason to be lazy and out of shape either.

During my rehabilitation, I fell into some excellent habits. I took my diet and exercise to the extreme-- partly because I was scared to death of dying, but mostly because I wanted to be sure to get a good head-start because it would be hard to keep up that pace and not start slacking. That slacking, however, came back way too quickly once I got back to a semi-normal routine. I went from being bored and looking for things to do with all of the free time I had to being worn-out all the time when I went back to work. In addition, sitting at a desk all day isn't very healthy either-- at least with my nicotine habit, I would get up to go to the smoking area four times a day.

I have always enjoyed working out earlier rather than later and, from what I've heard, this is much better for burning calories. I find it extremely hard to get myself motivated to go to the gym after work-- or even worse, after dinner. There is a group of people at work though that actually workout before they come in but I could just never see myself getting up before the Sun, dragging my butt out of bed, into the car and up to the YMCA, when I could do something much more sensible and enjoyable, like... sleep!

This was before the incident with the mirror, though, and my knee-jerk, paranoia, hypochondriac reaction to get up early the next morning, drag my sorry butt out of bed, down the stairs (instead of the elevator) and into the hotel "fitness center"-- two treadmills and a stationary bike. They weren't the best facilities but I got in an almost 50-minute session before MLW and M3S came down looking for breakfast and the other key to the room.

Later in the afternoon, I commented how it felt good-- mentally and, surprisingly, physically-- to get up and get in that workout early in the morning... and while on vacation to boot. My wife suggested that I should try it when we get home, and reminded me that I usually get up to load our Son in the car for her at 5:30 anyway. I never thought of it like that.

So, this morning, I gave it a shot. MLW, gently, woke me at 5:30 so I could carry 38 pounds of dead weight 50-feet to the garage and load M3S into his car seat and then I dragged my sorry butt into the car and to the Y. I got in a 5-minute warm-up and stretch, 18-minutes on the treadmill, a quick upper-body circuit and 16-minutes on the elliptical machine. I still had time to take a nice hot shower and stop back by the house to pick up a few things that I forgot before I was off to work.

I don't know how I will hold up the rest of the day. It is only lunch time now but I am already feeling a little tired. I hope that I will soon pick up a second wind, though, because I am committed to giving this a shot, at least, through the end of the week. I'm sure it will get easier if I get used to it.

Besides, I weighed in while I was at the YMCA and I'm a little embarrassed to say that I tipped the scales at 191. I'm embarrassed but still willing to post my weight here as well as my goal of 182 by December 31 and 175 by February 19 to better hold myself accountable. There is not a lot of people that are reading this blog but, probably, enough to get on my case if I start slacking again.

I will give periodic updates on my progress in the upcoming weeks. Until then... Read This. Buy T-shirts. Peace.

Monday Morning Quarterback 1.10

It seems like it has been weeks since I have written anything. I have a friend at work that always takes a post-vacation vacation day. It seems silly to waste an extra day off when you just had all of that time to relax but, whether it's due to me getting old or M3S being a handful to travel with, I could use an extra day to recover from the trip. It was only a three-day weekend, but I have a bunch of notes to write about so I am going to skip the Top Fives for now and get on with it while it is all fresh in my head.

• Used to be that when a young person went away to college they were gone until Christmas break unless they ran out of money and hitched a ride home for the weekend to get more. We went to Indiana to visit my sister-in-law for her school's family weekend and there was more family on campus than students because everyone went home. We were lucky she knew we were coming or she would've probably taking the five-and-a-half-hour drive home for the fifth time this semester and we would miss her.

• If the government is looking for a model of how to get dug out of this financial crisis they should look to the Colleges and Universities as it seems the several that I am aware of are in a financial boom with expansion and improvements running rampant.

• If you call someone from Indiana a Hoosier, do they consider it a complement.

• Indiana is proud of John Cougar Mellencamp. I heard more of his music in the last three days than I heard in the three biggest years of his popularity. I like his stuff as much as anyone but see no need for, WJCM: All Cougar-- All the Time.

• I have never worked in a fine eating establishment such as T.G.I.Friday's but I just can't understand how it can be that hard to split up a check, no matter how many people are on it, as long as you have already added in 15% gratuity.

• It's official-- M3S is my best friend now. We became blood brothers on our trip and he gave me some weird kind of brain meld.

• I will write in more depth on this in the next few months but I have a real concern that I have grown so attached my three-year old Son that it will be hard to not favorite him when the baby comes.

• Visited a church in Kokomo, Indiana on Sunday that was very cool. In addition to having a super amazing building and the most elaborate production of children's church that I could ever imagine, they were in the middle of a series based on The Beatles, of all things. I wish I could have heard more because everything that I ever heard says The Fab Four and God didn't cross paths very much.

• Did I mention, after starting 1-5 and then winning three in a row that our fantasy football team may be able to end up with a respectable season this year? If I did... I was wrong.

• After averaging almost 50 mpg in the Prius since we bought it, we got barely over 40 mpg on the trip, partly because of our speed, the weather, and having three passengers and their luggage for three-days packed in the space but mainly because MLW was in charge of the climate control and we would constantly be switching from heat to air-conditioning.

• Be sure to check SkeetzTeez often in the coming weeks because I have a ton of new design ideas that I will be adding in an attempt to get as many holiday gift sales as possible.

• Did you know: you have 30,000 individual thoughts in your head every day?

• Wall-E is a good movie with several interesting messages and an artsy essence that reminds me a bit of the Disney masterpiece Fantasia. Not really a kids' film, though, in my opinion.

• I have a theory that Cracker Barrel Restaurants, no matter how busy they are, always have at least a 20-minute wait for a table so you are stuck roaming around that silly craft store until you break-down and buy the $4.89 worth of stuff, just to distract the children (or wife) long enough to stop whining about how hungry they are.

• I am very proud of the attention that my Squidoo lens about Awareness of the Risk of Strokes with Chiropractors is getting. I am getting more and more hits every week as the word is being spread about the dangers of chiropractic neck procedures. If you have a loved one or a friend that is being treated by a chiropractor, make sure they see this before they are seriously injured!

I thought that I had a lot more than this to right but I am running out of time and can't think of anything else appropriate to write (I am trying to clean up my act). I hope to have something every day this week though and will certainly include anything I forgot in an upcoming article. Until then... Read this. Buy T-shirts. Peace.

What did the Headless Horseman say to Frankenstein?

I guess I was probably like most kids when I say Halloween was one of my favorite holidays-- and why wouldn't it be? You get to dress up in cool costumes, get a bunch of candy, you don't have to visit relatives house that smell funny (the houses, not the relatives) or church and you are, basically, expected to run all over the neighborhood causing havoc. Times, certainly, have changed in the last 30-some-odd years since I last went trick-or-treating. Gone are the days of dads taking the kids in their homemade outfits door-to-door, where they would be asked to tell a joke or sing a song by the friendly neighbor before receiving a generous reward of sweets while the moms waited at home and handed out candy to all the other children coming to their house.

Changes in the social environment and the society's decline in common values make some of the differences between 2008 and, say, 1979 obvious but I don't think they should make that much of a impact on our decision to deprive our children of the fun, Halloween traditions we enjoyed as kids. I still, to this day, have many fond memories of the Autumn holiday from my childhood but it seems that, as I have grown up, Halloween has become more of a matter for adults to be concerned with all of the rules and restrictions put on everyone.

Having a paranoid, over-anxious, very protective parent we had rules that we had to follow went we went out but nothing like they have today. We were told that we could only visit houses of the neighbors my folks knew so there were maybe two or three houses per block that we had to skip. This was to prevent us from walking up to a situation with a kid-napper or other predator that would hurt us, though I really didn't understand the point because my Dad was waiting for us at the street and wouldn't let us get into any trouble.

Today, communities are passing legislation that requires registered sexual offenders to leave off all the outside lights and post signs stating that there is no candy here. I support this initiative, although I don't believe that there is that many more perverts living in today's society than there was in our day, only that we are more aware of them because of the media and the noble efforts of law enforcement. I still think that my mother's rule about knowing your neighbors, however, is a good one but that could be difficult to do now because parents, in most neighborhoods don't know nearly as many people as ours did.

Parent's are not involved as much, altogether, as they used to be. Mine made all of our costumes every year until we were old enough to make our own. Made is the key word here. Kmart had a few cheap costumes (mainly a hard plastic mask with a elastic string and an apron-like thing that tied in the back) but there were not Halloween dedicated stores that popped-up in vacant strip mall spaces the week after Labor Day. 

There were no fancy, expensive, store-bought, fire-resistant, safety-tested outfits for us-- or most of the other kids at that time either. One of the earliest of years I can remember, I was a Christmas tree and my siblings were presents. Another Halloween I was Oscar the Grouch-- made from an old green rug and a plastic trash can with the bottom cut out. I did a couple of years as a headless horseman and a few others as an old stand-by: vampire, mummy, clown, ghost or hobo-- complete with burnt cork beard.

They were not the best disguises but we had fun and learned a lot by building them with our folks. They weren't fire-proof, in fact, many of them were fire hazards and they were not engineered while keeping in mind that we would be traveling from house-to-house on dark streets so I'm surprised that there weren't more serious accidents as we often couldn't either walk or see well. Bad weather meant that we wore turtlenecks and long-johns underneath the costume or clear plastic bags on top of them which really made my brother mad one year because everyone thought he was a cat when they couldn't see his bat wings.

We started making our own costumes by the time we were 11-12 or so. Most of those were things that we thought were cool which, apparently, was Saturday Night Live at the time because I remember dressing as a wild and crazy guy, King Tut and the Blues Brothers. One of our neatest, though was the Conehead outfits we made by cutting a Nerf football in half and putting it over our head with leg of my Mom's nylons. We went out to Trick-or-Treat-- or at least said we were doing that when we were actually out starting trouble-- every year until we were old enough to drive and went to work in the neighborhood Haunted House. We had at least one parent with us until we were 13. That was the age when you were allowed to go it alone but there were still enough adults that we knew on the streets that we couldn't really get away with that much.

There are municipalities in our area that are limiting Trick-or-Treating to children of certain ages and between certain hours. Honestly, I'm not sure how I feel about these restrictions. On one hand, I have answered the door at a time that I thought was a little late even for Halloween to a masked bunch of juveniles six-inches taller and 100-pounds heavier than me silently holding their bag out and thought that scene eerily reminded me of a bank hold-up and wondering if they did say anything if the voice would be more baritone than mine and they would be saying Trick-or-Treat or Stick 'em up. Either way I'm handing over enough candy to surely satisfy the young lady and getting the deadbolt back engaged as quickly as possible.

On the other hand, I think the age that they did set (12 I think in this case) was a little young and really leaves nothing for the younger teens to do but sneak out of the house after 9:00, soap our car windows, tepee our trees and hurl the jack-o-lantern that we worked so hard on into the street. Besides, how are the cops going to enforce this policy anyway? Do the children need to bring two forms of identification and pass-through barricaded roadblocks strategically placed in front of the houses handing out mini-Snickers bars? I would think that the boys in blue would have something better to do and I think we are missing an opportunity to encourage parents to get more involved with their kids' activities instead of just letting the man deal with it.

As an adult and an artist, I got into Halloween for a while. In college I made a great costume for me and G-money that we took on the contest circuit and won some prizes. We were each a giant roll of toilet paper and we had a big air-brushed replica Charmin wrapper that went around the two of us. We did that for a few years and then lost it somewhere. Other years I got a lot of use out of monk, priest and Chippendale outfits and hooked up with friends to do the Village People and Scooby Doo and friends (I was Freddy Jones). I won a contest as Ozzy Ozborne the year after his show premiered on MTV and dressed as Tanya Harding, complete with lead pipe and Rollerblades when she was in the news, but didn't really care for the drag thing (unlike Cox, who seemed to be wearing a wig, lipstick and fake boobs every year). My favorite adult costume, though, would have to be the Hanson Brothers-- it's fairly simple, a little obscure yet most people know who they are and I get to where my blades again.

I have lost some interest in Halloween in recent years. We used to go to parties but they seem to be more about the party and less about the holiday now. The outfits that adults are wearing are all about shock value instead of creativity and that has taken some of the fun out of it. Since I now have M3S, I want to make the focus on him and make it fun again. 

MLW and I have talked about what we are going to do Friday night. Our neighborhood is full of old folks so it is not a good place to go out. By the time I get home from work it will be almost six and, even though daylight savings time is still going on, it will be getting dark and the kids will be heading out. This makes it hard to get out and go anywhere good and since MLW has to work early Saturday morning, we don't want to be out too late either. It may sound horrible but we were almost hoping for rain so we can Trick-or-Treat at the mall but the weather is supposed to be beautiful.

I think it is time to suck it up, put my money where my mouth is, quit trying to make excuses and do exactly what M3S wants to do... eat a taco and watch his TV. I guess we can save worrying about Trick-or-Treating until next year. Maybe then he can remember-- and understand, the punchline to his Halloween riddle...

Bolts! Why didn't I think of that?

Happy Halloweenie! Read this. Buy T-shirts. Peace.

Drive Time

My morning drive to work takes me 23-minutes and 52-seconds on a good day. Considering, however, that there are almost no good days, I'm lucky to make the trip in less than a half-hour or 45-minutes most of the time. I have become wiser in my old age and have just come to accept that there is nothing I can do to reduce the amount of time that I spend on the road and I must try to make the most of the situation.

I take advantage of the opportunity to prepare, mentally, for the day ahead of me. I want to be sure to not be distracted when driving but, because there is less driving and more crawling, very slowly along the highway, I can get away with some minor brain-activity like practicing a speech, memorizing multiplication tables or analyzing the previous night's reality show episode and trying to handicap the odds of each contestant being eliminated off the island, dance floor or stage the next week. On days when the sun is out or when it is raining I can catch up on some reading or get in a game of Texas Hold 'em on my cel phone. If I am lucky enough that there is a fender-bender going the other way, I actually have enough time to do some laps around adjacent cars or take a quick nap before a fellow commuter notices I have dozed off and politely reminds me what we are here for with a friendly toot of his or her horn.

All kidding aside, as seen in yesterday's post, I'm an Excellent Driver, I am a big proponent of eliminating the distractions we all face while trying to operate a motor vehicle. I am also a believer that, although cel phones have received most of the attention, something as simple as glancing away to change the radio station or adjust the climate controls can be distracting enough to cause an accident. 

I am fortunate, though, to own a 2006 Toyota Prius that, for safety's sake more than comfort, has most controls for every system in the car, literally, right at your fingertips. Besides the usual turn signals, lights, windshield wipers and cruise control levers mounted on the steering column, the automakers embedded controls for the heater/air conditioner and, most importantly, the audio system, right on the steering wheel. With the additional features of a LED instrument panel on top of the dashboard, up at the windshield instead of lower on the dash, I rarely have to take my eyes off of front and center, much less, my hands off the wheel.

The radio in the car is important to me because I think I would be more distracted by it not being there. Let me try to explain... when I am by myself, without some kind to mental stimulation, my mind starts to wander. Having a creative imagination, this isn't usually a concern unless, of course, I start to wander into a thought that makes me anxious because, no matter how ridiculous the concept may sound, if my anxiety takes over, it very quickly becomes real to me and I start obsessing about all the negative possibilities until I become overwhelmed with what is going on in my mind and forget about everything else that is going on around me.

So... I listen to the stereo when I drive to work. I often listen to one of three AM talk stations-- one news, one sports and one variety. I'm not sure if my reasons for doing so are because it is just a natural instinct thing that one starts listening to talk radio when they start getting old or if it is a security thing that I know what I am going to get when I listen to these stations: news- mostly bad in this day and age, but they try (mostly unsuccessfully) to put a positive spin on things; sports- mostly bad in this town, but they try (mostly unsuccessfully) to be funny and entertaining; and variety- is a little less predictable depending on the guest and subject of the day could be anything from gossip or fortunetellers to current events and interviews with entertainers or political leaders.

You would think that music stations would be a little more predictable, but I have found that is not the case-- especially during morning drive time. I have a total of 12-pre-set stations that I have programmed on the car stereo. Because I like a very wide variety of music, so I basically have each of those pre-sets on a different genre station-- classic rock, pop, easy listening, R&B, jazz, etc. I even have Christian music and Hip Hop stations programmed in for when MLW is in the car and the Disney Station set for when M3S is with me.

Monday morning, for a change of pace, I felt like listening to one of the twelve music stations instead of the three talk stations, mainly because even the sports guys were discussing the upcoming presidential election. I have heard about enough discussion of our two candidates to last until the 2016 campaign that I would be willing, at this point, to commit my vote to the guy that promises to pull all of the negative advertisements, honestly give their position on the real issues and then shut their trap. But I digress...

In the first 2o-minutes of my commute, I was surprised to find nothing worth listening to. An almost constant cycle through eleven (I just couldn't bring myself to try the Hip-Hop that early in the morning) music channels and I could find no music! I would have even resorted to Worship music or gospel hymns on my wife's or the Jonas Brothers on the kid's favorites, but even they were broadcasting talk-- or should I say static and talk (neither has a very strong signal). Some of the others run big production, syndicated, super-crazy morning shows that you expect a lot of teams of hosts and their wild shenanigans, but a just couldn't believe that no one was playing any thing close to music for such a long period of time.

Granted that I was flipping through all of those channels and about three-quarters of the way through my trip I was frustrated enough to try the scan button to see if I could find anything anywhere else (nothing but the end of a classical tune and something that I think was a Hindu love song) so I could have missed a very, very short song, but it would have had to be timed just perfectly-- nothing else but politics, commercials and political commercials. 

Oh... and Christmas music, of all things! There is a station in this town that has gone to all Holiday music... in October. I expect they will continue with that format through December but, if they are doing it now, they might as well play it all year long!

I was about to give up because it had been a good traffic day and I was almost to work when I came upon the sweet sound of a ringing acoustic guitar chord. It only took a few seconds to recognize the harmonized vocals of Extreme with their 1990 chart-topping hit "No More Words"-- I love that song!

As I pulled into my parking spot on the side of the building, the rock ballad was coming to it's end. I sat there for a few seconds to soak in the last little bit and see if the station would follow that classic with another cool tune. Imagine my astonishment when they went with... an Extreme Two-for! Hole Hearted! Sweet! The only thing that was going to beat that on a Monday A.M. is to get to hear some other obscure one-or-two-hit wonder like Nelson or Zebra!

My morning had gone from worst-to-first and now I could go in and start my work day with a song in my head and a smile on my face. After all of that searching and searching, I stumbled onto a little piece of heaven right here on... the Oldies station? There must be some mistake! If music on the charts when I was old enough to vote is being played on the Oldies Station-- there can be no doubt that I am definitely getting old.

Don't get old. Buy T-shirts. Peace.