What I know about fashion.

If the length of this article corresponds with my level of knowledge on this subject, this will be the shortest post in the history of this blog. In fact, I can't think of a single thing that one would call a "do" when it comes to fashion. I have been called, though, on more than one occasion a "walking don't". Several years ago they, actually, had a dress like Skeetz day at work.

Let me make one thing perfectly clear. It's not that I don't care about how I look (I want to look nice for my wife) but, in all fairness, I think people worry way too much about how other people look, and therefore, how they look, themselves. Yes, I do make fun of what someone is wearing or a silly haircut or something but that is all in fun and, unless someone is dirty or stinky or dressed inappropriately for some reason or another, I don't care what they look like.

With that being said, there are some fashion rules that I have learned to live by– whether I want to or not:

Mullets. On boys or girls, this hair style has not been in fashion since the mid-eighties– and even then, it was ugly. I, of course, had one until the mid-nineties and a modified one into the new millennium (most of that time, with a tail to boot).
Shoes and belts should match and don't cross your brown and black color pallets. This one I have never really understood. I'm an artist. I have taken classes on what different colors mean and how they work together... and got an A. They can't say that nothing on the brown and black color pallets can go together, but they do and I am tired of fighting it so I follow the rule.
Wear clean underwear. What if you get in an accident? Who's going to know if you follow this rule? And if you do get in an accident (and you don't crap yourself), do you really think anybody is going to care what condition your drawers are in? The reason I follow this rule is because the answer to the last two questions is: MLW
Jorts. They're jeans. They're shorts. I should've known that they were bad fashion because I often wear them... but I didn't. Jorts, or jorts being uncool are a, fairly, new phenomenon. Here again jorts haven't been cool since the mid-eighties (if ever) and now they are definitely not. Whether the young, beautiful, cool people like it or not, they are, highly, outnumbered by the old, ugly dorks in the world... and we don't have a problem with them. 

In fact, I have created a Squidoo Lens dedicated to jorts. Visit the page at: http://www.squidoo.com/jortfashion and check out my jort t-shirts at: http://www.cafepress.com/skeetzteez/5891514

If you don't like these shirt designs (Cubs Fans) leave me a comment on who you think wears jorts and I will produce those designs too!

No comments: